Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn: A Relationship Timeline

When Taylor Swift released her critically acclaimed new album Midnights, it got me thinking about her much-talked-about relationship with her boyfriend of six years, Joe Alwyn. So what exactly is the timeline of their romance, and did it overlap her short-lived fling with Tom Hiddleston? And how can we forget that Hiddleston himself overlapped with Calvin Harris? After some embarrassing sleuthing with the help of very-devoted Swifties, I might have cracked the code.

CLUE #1: “HIGH INFIDELITY”

In Taylor Swift’s new song off her Midnights album, “High Infidelity,” she says the following telling lyrics:

“Do you really want to know where I was on April 29th?”

“Do I really have him him to chart the constellations in his eyes?”

“Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?”

So where exactly was Taylor Swift on April 29, 2016? There are some fan theories rolling around, but there’s one in particular that I find most compelling. While in a relationship with Calvin Harris, Taylor Swift attended Gigi Hadid’s 21st birthday party on April 28, 2016, which likely lasted past the 12:00 hour (leading us into April 29, 2016). Many suspect this party was also attended by her current boyfriend, Joe Alywn. Why you ask? Because Gigi and Joe allegedly became friends after appearing together in a VOGUE photoshoot, and Joe was in Los Angeles at the time.

It was originally believed that Taylor and Joe met three days later at the Met Gala on May 3, 2016, given Taylor’s lyrics in her song “Dress,” stating, “Flashback to when you met me, your buzzed cut and my hair bleached.” But a smoking gun this is not. If you look at the photo below from Gigi’s birthday party, Taylor’s hair is bleached. If they did in fact meet at Gigi’s birthday — and not the Met Gala — the lyrics would therefore still make sense.

Another theory is that Taylor and Joe had mutual friends, which I learned thanks to the tweet below.

If it’s true they met through the Lily connection, then it’s possible they actually had their first meeting in LA near the intersection of Sunset Blvd. and Vine Street (“Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine” are lyrics from her song “Gorgeous”), potentially at the Bowery Gastropub, which would explain Joe using the pseudonym “William Bowery” for his co-writing credit on Taylor’s album. This meeting might have also taken place on April 29, 2016.

Continue reading “Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn: A Relationship Timeline”

Jake Gyllenhaal Calls Out Taylor Swift’s Rabid “All Too Well” Fans

I like a good revenge story just as much as the next person and despite my previous distaste for Taylor Swift’s very identifiable heartbreak references, her musical prowess has forced me to come around. But when Swift re-released “All Too Well,” what was once a knock at her previous lover, Jake Gyllenhaal, turned into a full on, burn-the-house-down 10-minute retelling of the actor’s poor behavior, including a very cutting line that would inevitably serve to direct attention to his current flame (see below).

“And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punch line goes/ I’ll get older, but your lovers stay my age.”

Jake’s current girlfriend — Jeanne Cadieu — is 26 years old while Jake is 41. One can only anticipate what happened next. Social media venom was directed not only at Jake for decade-old behavior, but to Jeanne, and Swift refused to call off the troops. To be fair, it can be argued that these trolls are not true Taylor fans, but Taylor had the power to stop it with a simple message on Twitter, and she did nothing. Now, Jake is speaking up for the first time to Esquire and he has a very good point. Though he takes no issue with Taylor expressing her heartbreak in song, the actor said:

“At some point, I think it’s important when supporters get unruly that we feel a responsibility to have them be civil and not allow for cyberbullying in one’s name. That begs for a deeper philosophical question. Not about any individual, per se, but a conversation that allows us to examine how we can—or should, even—take responsibility for what we put into the world, our contributions into the world. How do we provoke a conversation? We see that in politics. There’s anger and divisiveness, and it’s literally life-threatening in the extreme.

I’m not here to tell another woman what to do, but it’s certainly troubling that she never spoke up, fully knowing the consequences.

Harry Styles Visits Howard Stern: Talks 1D, Taylor Swift, and Getting Robbed

Harry Styles stopped by Howard Stern for an in-depth interview, and if you weren’t a fan before, you should be now. Styles handled himself with incredible grace, proving that being young and famous isn’t necessarily a recipe for insanity. Composed and self-assured, he politely addressed Zayn Malik’s abrupt exit from One Direction, his industry inexperience during his rise on ‘X Factor,’ Taylor Swift writing a song about him, and his bold fashion choices.

Though I’d love to tell you his new album ‘Fine Line’ is as good as his interview —it sadly falls short. The sound quality/musicianship coupled with his voice is excellent, but the songs are simply not strong. I’d guess that with each record, his sound will improve. He’s still young.

Listen to his full interview below, along with his excellent cover of Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer.” Kudos to Styles for employing many female musicians (Sarah Jones is an excellent drummer) and for avoiding any and all shade traps from Stern.

Taylor Swift Goes for Kanye . . . Again

Update: I contemplated deleting this awful post, but then I’d be hiding the evidence of my ignorance. Shame on me for not understanding “as a lawyer and former debater” that the phone call between Kanye West (who we now know as a disgusting antiSemite) and the genius that is Taylor Swift was editing, chopped up, and recorded illegally to make her look like a villainous hypocrite. I’ve not heard the entire phone call that effectively cancelled her at the time and once again — SHAME.ON.ME. If word of my update ever makes its way to team Taylor, I send my sincerest apologies.

RS1332 Taylor Swift Photograph by by Erik Madigan Heck for Rolling Stone

As long as Taylor Swift is going to parse out her Kanye West feud point-for-point, so is The Dishmaster, because as a current lawyer and former debater, I know how to read between the lines — and Taylor Swift’s lines are actually circles. 

Let’s review. Swift and West’s feud began at the MTV Video Music Awards when West interrupted her speech to boldly proclaim that Beyonce should have won. They briefly reconciled, but their new love took a left turn when West wrote a song about Swift, with the lyrics, “I made that bitch famous” and “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex.” When West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, came to her husband’s defense, Swift’s team attempted to demoralize her with a cutting, sexist quote, saying:

“Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect. Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place. It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.”  

Swift doubled down when she accepted the GRAMMY Award saying, “There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.” Team West/Kardashian finally had enough and released the actual footage of Swift gleefully consenting to West’s use of the song. In the leaked footage, Swift can be heard calling West “awesome” for being “outspoken” in declaring that the VMA incident “made her famous.”

I suspect Swift was not aware she was being recorded, as there’s no way in hell her team would release the above quote if they had knowledge that it could be disproved in an instant. Furthermore, it’s illegal. California is a two-party state, which means that it is illegal for West to record anything without Swift’s permission or knowledge. West/Kardashian obviously knew that a lawsuit would serve to further soil Swift’s reputation, so they took the risk in releasing it. 

When Swift got word of the release, her entire argument hinged on West NOT asking to use the words “that bitch,” saying ” You don’t get to control someone’s emotional response to being called ‘that bitch’ in front of the entire world.” Though we don’t get to “control” her emotional response, we do get to judge whether its genuine. And the evidence suggests it is not genuine. She did not object to West declaring that he made her famous (yet Swift took aim at this line during her GRAMMY speech) and she did not object to a line involving the two having sex. On the leaked footage she is heard saying that the sex lyric is actually “tongue in cheek.” If she didn’t object to both those lines, it stands to reason she would also not object to being called “that bitch.” But a busted person gets desperate — and she did the best she could to remove the red paint from her hands.

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Swift resurrected the feud, claiming Kanye is two-faced. Swift recounts being asked by West to present him with the Vanguard Award only to say on stage, “MTV got Taylor Swift up here to present me this award for ratings!” But Rolling Stone fact-checked her claim, and West’s EXACT quote is, “You know how many times they announced Taylor was going to give me the award ’cause it got them more ratings?” The difference between those two sentences is MASSIVE. Swift’s claim implies West baited her to present the award and then made it look like it was solely MTV’s decision. His actual quote implies that HE wanted her to present the award but it was MTV who capitalized on the kind gesture between friends for ratings. While it’s possible she does not understand the difference between those two quotes, it’s also possible that this is once again a desperate attempt to revive her reputation. 

For the life of me I do not understand why Swift won’t let this die. Part of me wants to believe she thinks she’s right and doesn’t understand the facts. But then I remember her sexist quote about Kim Kardashian and her deplorable GRAMMY speech and it hit me — she doesn’t think she’s right, she wants to win.

Taylor Swift Releases Another Subpar Song

Taylor Swift has reached that sweet spot in her career where she can pretty much do no wrong with her fans, as evidenced by the unconditionally positive response to her newly released single, “You Need to Calm Down.” It certainly helps that it’s an anthem against anti-gay bullies. While I support GLAAD, I don’t support the song. Why? Because it simply isn’t good. The melody is nearly as terrible as “ME!.” I realize the irony in expressing distaste for a song that’s all about being kind in the form of “calming down.” Just know that I’m perfectly calm. Also know that the song is subpar. As an aside, it seems as if Swift has made a conscious choice to veer away from singing about her personal life. Since her entire career was based on publicizing her personal life, I imagine it’s going to take some time to find other inspiration besides social media trolls and celebrity “snakes.”

Lena Dunham on WWHL – Good ‘Girls’ Gossip + Calvin Harris Call out

Lena Dunham on Watch What Happens Live
Photo by Charles Sykes/Bravo

As someone fascinated by the early exit of actors from successful series, I’ve long been curious about Christopher Abbott’s abrupt departure from HBO’s Girls in season 3. Though he returned for a cameo in the final season, the speculation has always pointed to a stark creative difference with Lena Dunham. On ‘Watch What Happens Live,’ Andy Cohen got to the bottom of it, and Dunham confirmed their cantankerous relationship, saying Abbott once said he felt “stuck on a sitcom.”

Continue reading “Lena Dunham on WWHL – Good ‘Girls’ Gossip + Calvin Harris Call out”

Everything We’ve Learned About Taylor Swift on ‘Reputation’

Taylor Swift had no choice but to reference the infamous Kimye Feud

Though team Kimye said they’re too busy raising their children to address Swift’s digs, it would be impossible for Swift to have taken the high road given the massive hit her brand took for that feud. Though we know “Look What You Made Me Do” is about Kanye given the “tilted stage,” “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” takes some more jabs.

It was so nice being friends again
There I was, giving you a second chance
But then you stabbed in the back while shaking my hand
And therein lies the issue
Friends don’t try to trick you
Get you on the phone and mind-twist you
And so I took an axe to a mended fence

It goes without saying that this verse is enraging. Let me get this straight, Taylor Swift gave Kanye West a second chance? Did Swift call actress Camilla Belle for lyric approval over a song that basically called her a whore in reference to her romance with Swift’s ex at the time, Joe Jonas (She’s an actress, whoa/She’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress, whoa)? Also, explain to me how she was mind-twisted? Oh right, because Kanye asked for permission to say he made her famous but neglected to declare he’d use the word “bitch.” Fine distinction, Taylor. Let’s not relive it.

Taylor Swift Thinks Calvin Harris is a Narcissist

On “I Did Something Bad,” Swift says “never trust a narcissist,” and “If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing. I don’t regret it one bit, ’cause he had it coming.” As for why she’s so angry, it’s unclear, but it might have something to do with the song Harris wrote with Swift for which he later took sole credit. But it doesn’t stop there. There’s reference to flying “playboys” around the world, who “drop her name.” This is not a pretty picture, folks, but it’s also not surprising given their ugly breakup.To be fair, that might also be a Hiddleston dig given that the press leaks at the time said Swift questioned Hiddleston’s intentions. I’m also guessing the song title, “I Did Something Bad,” refers to the fact that her relationship with Tom Hiddleston overlapped with her Harris romance.

She Met Her Current Boyfriend While Still With Calvin Harris

Swift’s song, “Gorgeous,” makes it clear that she crushed on her current man from afar. In fact, she says that when they met she had an older boyfriend. The reason that’s likely Harris is because on another song, “Dress,” Swift says, “Nights back when you met me, your buzzcut and my bleached hair.” Swift had bleached hair at the Met Gala in 2016 and her new beau had a buzz cut around the same time for a movie role.

Swift’s Relationship With Tom Hiddleston Was “Cursed” From the Start

Swift suggests that Hiddleston was a rebound who broke her out of prison from her relationship with Harris, which she desperately wanted to leave. Hiddleston also somehow “poisoned the well” with one mysterious action referenced by the lyric “X marks the spot” and a “switch to the other side.”

She’s Happy, and She Wants to Keep Her Romance a Secret

“King of My Heart” calls her new boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, “the one she has been waiting for,” saying she’ll “never let [him] go.” This song also has another subtle jab at her exes, referencing the cars they drive while saying, “they never took me quite where you do.”

So is the album good? Yes. Taylor Swift is always good. She’s got a team of people who work extremely hard on making a great album, and the tone is always consistent. I slightly object to some of the hip hop elements, as it feels a little try-hard given that Swift is simply far too uncool for it. It’s also slightly over-produced, which is to be expected. The added elements often distract from the melody, and given that this record is less about heartbreak and more about reinvention, I found myself far less invested in the lyrics. When someone’s “reputation” is impacted by hard truths about their character, my listening experience is slightly dented. But as I said. It’s good. It’s always good.

Does Maggie Gyllenhaal Have Taylor Swift’s Scarf?

There’s a reason Andy Cohen’s ‘Watch What Happens Live’ on Bravo is a success, and it’s because the shrunken studio space demands big questions, and Cohen delivers. During Maggie Gyllenhaal’s appearance on the show, Cohen asked whether Maggie has Taylor Swift’s scarf at her house, which was relayed in her hit song, “All Too Well.” The song was rumored to be about Maggie’s brother, Jake Gyllenhaal, who allegedly was too in love with Taylor to return the accessory. Watch her funny reply below.

Taylor Swift’s Releases “Look What You Made Me Do”

If you’re Taylor Swift, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do. For starters, she landed in a fight with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian after she bashed Kanye’s song lyrics during her Grammy speech, only to later have her very clear approval exposed via Kim’s snapchat. The act was itself illegal, given that Swift was allegedly recorded by Kanye without her permission and did not give consent for its release, but team Kimye is smart enough to know that any subsequent lawsuit would further damage the Swift brand, so they’re in the clear. Plus, a pissing match with rich people is pointless. Kimye is also tough to take down given that their image has so little to do with propriety. If you entered the public arena via a sex tape, it’s pretty challenging to soil your brand.

It’s clear that Taylor Swift’s song “Look What You Made Me Do” is a direct hit on the Kimye debacle and the lyrics are brilliantly and strategically crafted. She’s mad, she doesn’t like Kanye’s dumb “tilted stage” and has risen up “from the dead.” Also, if she got her karma, then everyone else will to.

A close friend in the music industry classified this song as a lazy double-down on the Kanye drama, which is personified by the Right Said Fred “I’m Too Sexy” hook. Those Right Said Fred songwriters were given credit on this track, presumably because of that whole Robin Thicke “Blurred Lines” judgment. So is my friend correct? The short answer is that I’m not sure. Swift has absolutely zero choice but to address this feud, and she can’t do it in a magazine interview, because each and every time she addresses controversy in magazine interviews she makes it ten times worse. Music is the only way, and re-invention is the key. We all know she has mastered the victim lane, so isn’t it better to flip things around and go for a more angry spin? That being said, the song has to be GOOD for this strategy to work, and Swift’s songs nearly always are. This song might be a little soulless and repetitive, but it does the trick. She’s either on the cusp of her next chapter or this is the beginning of the end. We shall see.

Katy Perry Talks Taylor Swift Feud


Though I’m not a massive fan of Katy Perry’s music, I’ve always liked her character, Sure I don’t know her personally, but she seems exceptionally shrewd in interviews and her barbs at other stars seem more thoughtful than petty. One such star is Taylor Swift, who accused Katy Perry of “sabotaging” her arena tour by poaching her dancers, a thought that later inspired the song “Bad Blood.” Instead of exchanging more passive aggressive barbs, Perry clarified the details with a curt account of the facts. Here they are. Three of Perry’s loyal backup dancers joined Swift’s tour. Before committing, they called Perry who said that although she was not currently touring, she’d hit the road in about a year, so the dancers should place a contingency clause inside their contracts. When the dancers approached the Swift staff about exiting, they were immediately fired. Perry tried to call Swift to straighten out the mess, but according to Perry, she never answered and instead opted to talk about it in the press.

I’m team Perry on this one. First, in almost every industry two weeks notice is an acceptable method of leaving. If an exit would tank a tour, that’s why you create contracts. If the contract has a contingency clause, that’s on your for allowing it. Second, it’s okay to vent through music, but when you identify a party involve and therefore individually assault their character, that moves from venting to bad-mouthing, and I’d like to think we’re more adult. Third, I hate to jump on the feminism band-wagon, but you can’t champion women’s rights and then create a song and video called “Bad Blood.” It’s just hypocrisy.