Sarah Silverman Drops Jimmy Kimmel Bombshell on Howard Stern

Sarah Silverman visits Jimmy Kimmel The news of Sarah Silverman’s Howard Stern interview is largely focused on the revelation that Louis C.K. used to masturbate in front of her WITH her consent. She chalked it up to mutual freakdom and thought nothing of it, but she made it clear that because they were both up-and-coming at the time, there was no objectionable power dynamic that blurred consent. While that’s certainly interesting, I’m far more intrigued by her more subtle revelation about Jimmy Kimmel.

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Louis C.K. Calls Out Jimmy Fallon’s Dumb Question

I’ve long accused Jimmy Fallon of being an inauthentic interviewer/kiss-ass, and apparently — I’m in good company. Louis C.K. appeared on his show to promote his new Netflix special, and he called out Fallon for saying something “dumb” during the interview. While riffing on his love for naps, Fallon asked Louis if he “Likes naps more than sleep.” Fallon clearly didn’t get that he was being laughed at, not with, and he would not relent on the exchange. Watch below.

Louis was once lauded for selling his stand-up specials directly to his fans for $5 each, with an estimated gain of $200,000 for the star. But even the everyman couldn’t resist the Netflix beast, and though his deal is not revealed, The Daily Beast reports that:

Chris Rock recently secured $40 million for two new specials with the company, Dave Chappelle got $60 million for three specials — two of which were already in the can — and Jerry Seinfeld reportedly took in $100 million total for a deal that includes two new specials as well as 24 new episodes of his web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

The new Netflix model, while good for fans, can be tough for comedians. Their specials are taped too long before they air, which means the material can feel dated. Something tells me Netflix will figure this out, though. It’s an easy fix.

Largo Hosts The Writers Panel: My Underwhelming Experience


For those that don’t know Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles, it’s a hot spot for high-level comedians and a very in-the-know experience. In fact, they barely advertise, relying solely on word of mouth. That idea fosters its high ticket fee, with no less than $30 ahead ($40 for last night’s show). That might not seem like a lot to most, but when I can see two hours of The Groundlings for $18, Louis C.K. at The Comedy Store for $20, and my favorite band at The Greek for $60, your fee better come with a five-star experience.

Upon entering Largo, I was met with a surly hostess who could not find my name on the list. Instead of inquiring as to the misunderstanding, she insisted I did not in fact purchase a ticket, turned her back to me, and clearly desired to carry on with her other customers. “No,” she said, “You don’t have a ticket.” As I stepped to the side to find the receipt on my phone, she again seemed irritated, only to meet my digital evidence with an insistence that the entire debacle was my own fault, as I spelled my name wrong. “You didn’t spell your name with an H,” she said, “You said ‘A.'” Floored and flustered, I said, “I spelled my name correctly. It’s loud. Perhaps you didn’t hear it.” She once again repeated herself with no subsequent apology. When I also realized my friend had purchased an extra ticket by mistake and asked if I could give my own ticket to another customer, she turned her back to me again. Ticket wasted, I gave up, and entered the theater moderately enraged. Expecting an usher upon my arrival to help me to my seat, I was surprised to discover a cardboard map on an easel in place of an usher. I’d once again like to reiterate my original point. If you’re going to charge me $40 for my ticket, give a job to someone in need to direct people to their seats. Anything less is unacceptable. Additionally, if you’re going to use a cardboard poster, learn a thing or two about branding and hire a graphic designer to make it pretty-damn-appealing for the eye. It’s as if Largo has taken it’s underground popularity for granted. Just because people are buying your tickets, doesn’t mean you can treat them poorly. It’s easy to be kind. And I 100% promise that my personal attitude was undeserving of such unjustified disdain.

Now for the actual show. I paid to see The Writers Panel’s 300th Episode celebration featuring a large group of writers discussing their experience on top television shows. It is based on a popular podcast hosted by Ben Blacker, who is himself a writer. The panel featured many talents from various genres, but it would be hard to say who did what, considering Ben Blacker failed to introduce each guest’s accomplishments before asking them questions. He therefore worked under a very hefty assumption that we all had their IMDB profiles at-the-ready, and I must say I seriously considered googling from my seat to compensate for his failings. I did; however, remember Michael Schur (creator of ‘The Good Place’), Damon Lindelof (co-creator of ‘Lost’), and Jeff Greenstein (writer and supervising producer of ‘Friends’), as they were the only panelists to offer actual anecdotes about their writing process. The rest was a masturbatory ego-stroke between Blacker and his guests, rather than actual, substantive questions about their experience. To be fair, it’s difficult to offer true candor, given that this business is like the mafia where one must work with their enemies for eternity, but there are ways to get around that (without biting the hand . . . ), and Michael Schur might have been the only person to have accomplished it. Furthermore, there were far too many panelists and the format was flawed. What’s the point of bringing out three writers at a time, and leaving the rest of your guests to wait an hour and a half backstage? Surely they know how to let others have their moment. If you can’t adequately moderate your panel all at once, then get another moderator or alter the format. Moreover, Blacker seems like a perfectly nice man, but he needs to get out of the way of his interview. It’s not about him. He’s there to host. He’s not there to offer personal stories that bog down the process, and he’s also not there to wax on about how great everyone is. He’s there to get information that is helpful to the audience. That is it. It is also worth noting that he began the evening with an offensive aside about how the entire panel was mostly white men because that’s the reality of Hollywood today. Though I initially thought he was making a point about that sad fact, he followed it up with a note to the women and “people of color” in the audience to get an agent, because now’s the time. Need I explain that Hollywood’s white-boys-only club is about opportunity, NOT talent, and that women have been making failed attempts to break down that door for many years? If you’re going to hire your friends, and you’re a white man, you will likely hire other white men. Sure times are changing, but Blacker could have diversified that panel with a little more effort, and he chose not to. In fact, there were only two women up there, offering a huge opportunity to ask them about today’s changing times and their own experience as women in the writers room, and he did not take it. The entire show just felt like one huge missed opportunity.

I realize this critique might sound overly harsh, but it’s important to speak up for others to improve, and hopefully this is more constructive than critical. That being said, I likely won’t be returning to Largo anytime soon.

‘The Secret Life of Pets’ – View Pictures Now

Ever wonder what exactly happens when you leave your house when you’re going about your busy day? Are you jealous of the pets you leave behind and fear their affection for your expensive shoes might demand a new trip to the mall? Well Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures are prepared to present you with an answer, and it’s called ‘The Secret Life of Pets.’

This will be the first animated feature-film debut for comedy stars Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet and Kevin Hart and which co-stars include Jenny Slate, Ellie Kemper, Lake Bell, Dana Carvey, Hannibal Buress, Bobby Moynihan, Steve Coogan and Albert Brooks. Enjoy some adorable pictures below.

(L to R) Pampered terrier mix Max (LOUIS C.K.) is introduced to giant, fluffy, unruly rescue Duke (ERIC STONESTREET) by their owner, Katie (ELLIE KEMPER), in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Pampered terrier mix Max (LOUIS C.K.) is introduced to giant, fluffy, unruly rescue Duke (ERIC STONESTREET) by their owner, Katie (ELLIE KEMPER), in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
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Caption: (L to R) Fat cat Chloe (LAKE BELL), pampered terrier mix Max (LOUIS C.K.), and excitable pug Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(Center) Ozone (STEVE COOGAN) is an alley cat with an attitude in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(Center) Ozone (STEVE COOGAN) is an alley cat with an attitude in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
Chloe (LAKE BELL) is a fat cat who can’t be bothered, unless you have food, and Max (LOUIS C.K.) is a pampered terrier mix in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
Chloe (LAKE BELL) is a fat cat who can’t be bothered, unless you have food, and Max (LOUIS C.K.) is a pampered terrier mix in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN), Chloe (LAKE BELL), Gidget (JENNY SLATE), Norman (CHRIS RENAUD), Tiberius (ALBERT BROOKS), Sweetpea and Buddy (HANNIBAL BURESS) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN), Chloe (LAKE BELL), Gidget (JENNY SLATE), Norman (CHRIS RENAUD), Tiberius (ALBERT BROOKS), Sweetpea and Buddy (HANNIBAL BURESS) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
An adorable and deranged bunny, Snowball (KEVIN HART) is the leader of the Flushed Pets in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
An adorable and deranged bunny, Snowball (KEVIN HART) is the leader of the Flushed Pets in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
Gidget (JENNY SLATE) is a naïve-but-gutsy Pomeranian and Max (LOUIS C.K.) is a pampered terrier mix in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
Gidget (JENNY SLATE) is a naïve-but-gutsy Pomeranian and Max (LOUIS C.K.) is a pampered terrier mix in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Chloe (LAKE BELL), Buddy (HANNIBAL BURESS), Sweetpea (foreground), Norman (CHRIS RENAUD), Gidget (JENNY SLATE) and Pops (DANA CARVEY) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Chloe (LAKE BELL), Buddy (HANNIBAL BURESS), Sweetpea (foreground), Norman (CHRIS RENAUD), Gidget (JENNY SLATE) and Pops (DANA CARVEY) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Chloe (LAKE BELL), Sweetpea, Norman (CHRIS RENAUD), Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN), Buddy (HANNIBAL BURESS), Tiberius (ALBERT BROOKS) and Gidget (JENNY SLATE) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Chloe (LAKE BELL), Sweetpea, Norman (CHRIS RENAUD), Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN), Buddy (HANNIBAL BURESS), Tiberius (ALBERT BROOKS) and Gidget (JENNY SLATE) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Giant, fluffy, unruly rescue Duke (ERIC STONESTREET), owner Katie (ELLIE KEMPER) and pampered terrier mix Max (LOUIS C.K.) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Giant, fluffy, unruly rescue Duke (ERIC STONESTREET), owner Katie (ELLIE KEMPER) and pampered terrier mix Max (LOUIS C.K.) in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN) is an optimistic, excitable pug in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
Mel (BOBBY MOYNIHAN) is an optimistic, excitable pug in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Tattoo (MICHAEL BEATTIE), Snowball (KEVIN HART), Ripper and Dragon in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ "The Secret Life of Pets," a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.
(L to R) Tattoo (MICHAEL BEATTIE), Snowball (KEVIN HART), Ripper and Dragon in Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ “The Secret Life of Pets,” a comedy about the lives our pets lead after we leave for work or school each day.

Ed O’Neill Didn’t Recognize Britney Spears

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Celebrities are often asked to take photographs for social media and some, like Louis C.K., will refuse. Others will simply comply with a curmudgeon attitude, which seems to be the method of ‘Modern Family’ star Ed O’Neill. To be fair, he was catching a flight and his irritated resting face is what we love about him. Watch as he retells a very funny story about learning it was Britney Spears who asked to take the photo.

Old Navy Features Interracial Couple: Racists Erupt

Old Navy revealed their latest add, which features an interracial family enjoying their clothes, and we’ve learned a few things as a result. First, racist people enjoy twitter. Second, we are not as far along as we once thought. Third, we might be further along than we thought, but racist people are just a little louder than everyone else who chooses not to comment on something that is actually normal. Fourth, Old Navy picked up on the natural hair trend, and that model looks fabulous. Fifth, I must buy a new button-down. And lastly, Louis C.K. is correct when he says that the future looks bleak for white people.

Oh, happy day! Our #ThankYouEvent is finally here. Take 30% off your entire purchase: https://t.co/nGQ9Pji1pN pic.twitter.com/vq4mIczm6A

‘Unfinished Business’ — Movie Review

When an entire movie revolves around closing a business deal, it might help to actually understand the deal in question. That’s not a macguffin, it’s a necessity. ‘Unfinished Business’ begins with a scene straight from ‘Jerry Macquire,’ as Dan Trunkman (Vince Vaughn) defiantly insists he can do his job better than his boss, Chuck Portnoy (Sienna Miller). He then turns to his fellow coworkers to request they follow him to his new company. As for what his company does, why he’s so angry, or whether we should root for his success, that’s never clear.  The remainder of he film explores the antics around the deal in question, with a great level of desperation given that it’s Dan’s only chance to keep his illusory company alive. Because this film solely revolves around the dialogue among Dan and his two cohorts as they travel through Europe to seal this deal, the movie lives or dies by its dialogue. Unfortunately, it died. The only funny moment is ironically ripped from Louis C.K. whose joke about giving his first class seat to a veteran landed in the trailer. Do you think Louis scored some cash for that? You can catch both clips below.

OVERALL RATING: 1.5/5 DISHES

Ardie Fuqua’s Daughter Begs TMZ to Remove Video of Injured Father

ardie_daughterThe daughter of critically injured comedian Ardie Fuqua has launched an appeal to TMZ on Instagram, begging the “news” outlet to remove a graphic video of her father that shows him being pulled from the wreckage that also critically injured Tracy Morgan and took the life of James McNair. Louis C.K. joined the movement, tweeting TMZ with the same request. The photo below shows the appeal, and the photo above came with a very moving caption from Ardie,  saying, “Me and my 19 year old daughter Krizya at Carolines. I’m a performer, I do my job well, but nothing beats the feeling of looking into a room of 400 people and seeing your child smiling. I may not have much money, but I feel like a millionaire when I see that.” May he get well soon, and may TMZ rot in hell. 

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David Letterman Retires — Should Zach Galifianakis Replace Him?

After much research, many projections, and endless suggestions, I’ve personally picked the perfect replacement for David Letterman. Zach Galifianakis is the only option that fits. He’s young, he’s fresh, he’s innovative, and most importantly — he’s hilarious. His ‘Funny or Die’ sketch with President Obama solidified his high-status success, and his down-to-earth, every-man presentation makes him more unique than his competitors. As for the other names being thrown around, I’ll take a moment to tell you why they won’t work.*

1. Howard Stern — He’s a radio legend, but Stern himself has complained about network restrictions, and the man is at his best in a free-spoken format. Plus, if it ain’t broke . . .

2. Chelsea Handler — Chelsea is too niche a host to survive in a prime-time format. She’s certainly a strong choice, but her mass appeal is questionable.

3. Craig Ferguson — Not funny enough (sorry, Craig).

4. Chris Rock — Much like Howard Stern, this format is far too restrictive for Rock’s imagination.

5. Louis C.K. — Maybe. But probably not.

6. Conan — One and done. His brand became tarnished with the late-night debacle, and his opportunity on the main stage is now compromised.

7. Jay Leno — NO. JUST NO.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Zach Galifianakis was actually my brother’s idea, but don’t all the best artists steal?