I try to avoid critiquing artists if I have nothing nice to say, but since Mariah Carey has a bazillion dollars and unlimited success, I think she’ll be able to get over it. So here goes: The new single is terrible. It’s not catchy, and she’s barely singing (is there even an ascertainable chorus?). In fact, I have no idea what happened during the recording process, but it sounds as if she’s singing in a damn tunnel. Perhaps someone picked the wrong single? Let’s hope there’s better material to come. Listen below.
Quote of the Day — Jon Gosselin Can’t Pay Child Support
“I decided to take the high road and quit reality television and now look, I’m going to end up in jail because I can’t afford to pay child support to Kate who has plenty of money. I’m doing the best I can, but life is so expensive with eight kids!” Jon Gosselin to Star Magazine, on the state of his financial affairs.
‘The Newsroom’ — Behind the Scenes With Aaron Sorkin
Jennifer Lopez’s Boyfriend is Gay? — Eureka!
The story about Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend being gay got me thinking: Is there go-to tabloid twists that they assign every A-lister? Since they seem like a perfectly happy couple, I suppose it’s not believable enough that either party is cheating — but wait! Casper Smart is a dancer! He must be gay, right? And if that doesn’t work, I predict the next story will be that Marc Anthony is begging Lopez to come back, and she’s in the middle of a love triangle and can’t decide who to choose.
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D.L. Hughley on Colorado Shooter: “Someone Should Have Had a Gun”
It’s funny that D.L. Hughley is on ‘The View’ to promote a book about people who talk more than they listen, when D.L. is an infamous non-listener. Watch him assert a brilliant theory about how someone in the Aurora movie theater should have been carrying a gun to go head-to-head with the shooter. Right — because that would have certainly helped.
Quote of the Day — Danielle Steel on Fifty Shades of Grey
Vince Vaughn Remaking The Brady Bunch — HUH?@!
When I first read that Vince Vaughn and CBS were remaking The Brady Bunch, I thought it was a prank. When I realized it was true I scratched my head and thought, “These studios are glorified prostitutes. They’ll do anything for the money.” The new series will focus on Bobby Brady, whose life will basically mirror the joined family element of the original series. To be fair, this is only in the development stages and likely won’t make it into production. Let’s hope so anyhow.
Barbara Walters on the Queen of England: “She Doesn’t Know How to Smile”
Not a day goes by where I don’t count my blessings for getting a daily dose of Barbara Walters on ‘The View.’ Yesterday was particularly special, because Walters took a moment to make a hilarious point about the Queen’s inability to smile. “There were these adorable children [at the Olympics] who were singing, ‘God Save the Queen,'” she said. “Would it have killed her [to smile]?” she said. Watch below.
Courtney Love to Lana Del Rey — “‘Heart-Shaped Box’ is About My Vagina”
Courtney Love has said her fair share of messed up sh*t, but this one actually made me laugh very hard. Here’s the story in a nutshell: Music’s Up-and-coming it-girl, Lana Del Rey, covered Nirvana’s song, ‘Heart-Shaped Box.” According to NME, Lana Del Rey once said of the song, “When I was 11, I saw Kurt Cobain singing [it] on MTV, and it really stopped me dead in my tracks. I thought he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Even at a young age, I really related to his sadness.” So what did Courtney Love do to soil (no pun intended) this poor girl’s vision of the song? She divulged the “true” meaning on Twitter, saying, “You do know the song is about my Vagina right? ‘Throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back,’ umm… On top of which some of the lyrics about my vagina I contributed. So umm next time you sing it, think about my vagina will you?”
Olympian Ryan Lochte Talks to Women’s Health Magazine — What’s His Type of Woman?
Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte is the new it-guy of swimming. And in case you’d like to add him to your fantasy-man list, read some choice quotes from his interview with Women’s Health Magazine. To read the full interview, click here.
When you see a woman you want to meet, you …
“Make eye contact. Some guys keep staring, but I’ll give a wink and come back later, because it keeps her thinking.”
What confuses you about the opposite sex?
“It’s impossible to know what you’re thinking. If I could have one superpower, I’d be like Mel Gibson in What Women Want, where he reads women’s minds.”
What do women look hottest in?
“One of my long-sleeve button-down shirts and that’s all. The second hottest thing: white jeans.”