Alicia Silvertone Defends Mouth-to-Mouth Feeding Her Son — Heinous

Can someone explain to me when Alicia Silverstone’s brain began to malfunction? If you stay too long in the monkey house you’ll stop smelling the shit. And Silverstone is clearly parked inside that monkey house. In defense of feeding her son in a mouth-to-mouth fashion, Silverstone said, “People have been feeding their kids that way for thousands for years, and I didn’t think I was inventing anything.” Did she seriously use tradition to justify her deplorable behavior? Perhaps she should wipe her ass with leaves too. To call it disturbing would be a drastic understatement.

Connor Cruise in Anti-Gay Controversy? – Leave the Kid Alone

Here’s the only thing I know about football: both the players and the fans are certifiably insane. The players run around a big green field in tights and give each other congratulatory slaps on the ass. They also tackle each other to the ground and then subsequently lay there together for what can only be assumed is a borderline spooning session. As for the fans, they yell very loud at the television while eating greasy foods and pretending as if anything they are saying can actually be heard by the people inside that electronic box. So what’s the impetus behind my Dishmaster-football-rant? Tom Cruise’s son, Connor Cruise, is in trouble for a tweet he wrote in response to his rep’s gloating tweet about the Patriots’ loss, which served to inflate his aforementioned fan-insanity. Connor said, “That was a gay ass f**king tweet… U don’t say s**t like that about my team the second they lose. Low.” The rep subsequently dropped Connor as a client and then sent out emails calling him, “highly offensive, homophobic, and less than respectful.” I have some of my own words for Mr. Todd Krim (the rep in question). First, if you are going to taunt a kid on twitter after his team loses, then you have already crossed the lines of your professional relationship. Second, only a five year old child sends out emails to his colleagues in hopes of getting your client blacklisted in the industry over one comment. And third, using the word “gay” to describe dislike has not yet been universally disavowed in the same way as the F-Word or N-word. Yes, it’s bad and should not be used. But it doesn’t justify trying to trash this kid’s career in it’s entirety. The only child in this situation is Mr. Krim.

Rosie O’Donnell Shark-Fishes — HORRIBLE!

Though I am not a vegetarian, I am fundamentally against killing animals for sport or smiling beside the dead body of an animal one just killed. Such is the case with Rosie O’Donnell, who has recently sparked controversy for appearing with her children beside a dead hammerhead shark, which she caught while shark-fishing in Florida. Sharks are over-fished and risk extinction, and Florida recently banned the activity (note: the activity was banned after O’Donnell’s heinous excursion). To make matters worse, this isn’t her first time shark-fishing. O’Donnell made light of it when the public got angry, issuing a mock service announcement, which included a dig at Donald Trump. I realize that humor can often get one out of trouble (see Alec Baldwin), but that tactic is inappropriate here.