With each Mission Impossible film, the writers dominate the delicate dance of changing times, audience expectations, and Tom Cruise’s unstoppable capabilities as Hollywood’s leading man. For the fifth film in the franchise, Cruise not only came to play, he came to prove something.
Mission: Impossible – RogueNation delivers a daring, edge-of-your-seat experience with planes, water, motorcycles, and more. And this time around there’s a fearless woman on board that puts Black Widow to shame (and steals some of her moves). That women is Rebecca Ferguson, and it’s refreshing to see Cruise in need of an assist, especially when that assist is beautifully choreographed in a kick-ass fashion. She doesn’t need a man to come to the rescue — because she does the rescuing.
The film opens with a sense of humor and a now famous scene with Cruise dangling outside of a plane during takeoff (yes, that happened). Cruise’s mission is to take down The Syndicate, a network of special agents engaging in terrorist attacks. Unfortunately for him and his cohorts, the IMF has been disbanded, courtesy of some very hilarious dialogue from Alec Baldwin, which means if they’re going to fight this rogue nation, they have to do it without the support of the United States. They join forces with a disavowed British Agent who may or may not be their enemy, and she keeps the audience guessing from start to finish.
What sets this installment apart from the former films in the franchise is the ease at which it’s executed. The stunts are jaw-dropping, but when injected with a sense of humor, they work in a non-cartoonish way. The characters must take a moment to laugh at themselves, or we will laugh at them, and in this case, the former takes hold. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Tom Cruise attempt to hold his breath for three minutes flat? It’s also worth noting that this movie is both bold AND elegant, with careful choreography unlike any I’ve seen before, and a stunning scene at the opera where brute force is balanced by a beautiful solo. This film is not just a movie, it’s a cinematic experience.
I don’t know about you, but when my top’s about to blow, I definitely take the time to really think about insulting my opponent with the most class possible. It’s too bad Alec Baldwin lacks my lucky gift, especially when being accosted by vulturous photographers. After all, it’s okay to say the “F” word, as long as it’s not THAT “F” word.
And if you missed the made-for-TV take-down, Baldwin verbally berated a photographer who harassed him and his wife (newborn baby in tow), calling him a “c—k-sucking f****t.” Baldwin later claimed that his contentious remark was actually, “fathead,” which prompted GLAAD to explain that his adjective (that’s an adjective right?) was equally offensive. Baldwin’s daughter, Ireland Baldwin, has since come to his defense, explaining that her father is far from homophobic.
While I certainly don’t condone hateful speech, I also know that if you poke the bear, you should not be surprised when he uses his insult arsenal to rip off your head. Furthermore, this story should also focus on enacting anti-paparazzi laws to protect not only celebrities, but their families, and the innocent bystanders that get caught in the crossfire. Alec Baldwin’s talent is a gift, and I would prefer to get that gift as long as I can. If the public continues to pounce on this man, he’ll go away quietly, and I’ll be punished. Perhaps it’s time to get to the root of the problem, instead of just watering the poisonous plant.
EDITOR’S NOTE: THE DISHMASTER DOES NOT NOW, NOR HAVE I EVER, PUBLISHED PAPARAZZI PICTURES. THIS IS WHY. I’D ENCOURAGE MY PEERS TO FOLLOW SUIT.
“You couldn’t get [Anderson Cooper] out of the closet for ten years . . . . He wanted a mainstream career . . . . And now [that he’s out], he’s the sheriff, and he’s running around giving everyone a ticket.” Alec Baldwin to Howard Stern, on Anderson Cooper’s claims that Baldwin is homophobic.
Hell hath no fury like a Baldwin baby scorned. Ireland Baldwin took to tumblr to write a post that can only be described as admirable, gutsy, and Alec-esque. The blonde bombshell received some undeserved criticism about her body, and she wasn’t pleased with the predictable haters. She addressed the infamous voice-mail from her father, the comments about her weight, and the comparisons to her mother. Read some choice quotes below.
On her father’s public voice-mail
I had nothing to do with anything that happened back then, so I don’t fully understand why I am being targeted. More importantly, my Dad has moved on. He recognized that he needed to change, so he made changes. He is now healthy, happily married with a baby on the way. He moved on, so why can’t you?
On the difference between her and her mother
She is 5’9, I am 6’2. She is petite and fragile, and I am fit and…. more to love tehe. I have a booty, she has a thigh gap. As she emerged from her teen years, she developed an angular face and striking cheekbones. I am still a teen making my way out of my awkward phase. I am still trying to figure this whole thing out.
On stepping out of her parents’ spotlight
I am proud to be my parent’s daughter, but I don’t want to forever be known as ‘that rude thoughtless little pig’ or ”’Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger’s kid.’
I don’t know much about Anne Hathaway, but one thing seems certain — she’s humorless. When the world is criticizing you, the only way to squash that criticism is to self-deprecate and laugh, and she’s done neither. When James Franco addressed his Oscar hosting gig with Hathaway, word leaked that Hathaway was pissed, with what I can only believe are planted sources saying, “Anne would never air her dirty laundry in public and is intensely private. . . . It’s opened up old wounds, is totally unnecessary, and she’s fuming.” First of all, why is Anne Hathaway perfectly fine with laughing at Tina Fey’s Golden Globes’ joke about James Franco’s poor Oscar-hosting job, but she’s not okay with laughing at any jokes directed at her? Furthermore, you’d think the girl who hilariously poked fun at Claire Danes on SNL would also be able to poke fun at herself. My advice for Hathaway’s PR team is to have her host SNL again, get an award every five minutes and give cartoonish acceptance speeches. If Alec Baldwin can survive every dagger thrown in his direction, so can Anne Hathaway.
“I can tell you that, in all honesty, I don’t think he’s in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t. I mean, he was never in the theater. He came into a rehearsal room for six or seven days and, uh — you know, sometimes film actors — I mean, there are people who are film actors who have a great legacy in the theater. Some of the greatest movie stars had really serious theater careers and still do. And many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause. In the theater, we don’t just cook the food and serve it. You go out in the garden and you plant the seeds and you grow it. You know, it’s a really very, very long, slow, deliberate — it’s the opposite of film acting. It’s a much more intensive and kind of thoughtful process. And there are people who that’s just not their thing. So for those people who I think it’s not their thing, I’m not really interested in their opinion of it. But thanks.” Alec Baldwin, on Shia LeBeof’s tweet about theater after Shia dropped out of their Broadway play.
“I want it to be different. When I was younger, I was married to a woman who was very successful . . . . When you’re both in the business, you both know that you’re going to light one film off the other. It’s like chain smoking. You just have to do one after the other. You sense that this isn’t right, you have this daunting, overwhelming, overarching priority that takes you away for long periods at a time . . . . Now I’m with someone who’s not in the business and I would like to have a different life this time, have it be more normal . . . . If you took a stopwatch and a calendar and you mapped out how much time you really got to spend that was private and real, it’s startlingly little. You put a lot of energy into your work . . . . You do the best you can at the time, but a marriage has to be a priority.” Alec Baldwin to Total Film Magazine, on the things he learned from his first marriage to Kim Basinger, and the things he’ll do differently this time around.
There’s narcissism — and then there’s narcissism. Though Karl Legerfeld is an unequivocal fashion genius, only an ego-maniac would interview himself. I realize that this is simply an idea gone wrong, rather than a representation of his character, but let this be a lesson to everyone. Only Alec Baldwin could pull off the idea below. Watch and enjoy.