Gisele Bundchen Exposes Tom Brady’s Concussions

I admit that there’s a sexist man inside of me who rears his ugly head from time to time, so when Gisele Bundchen disclosed Tom Brady’s concussions during an interview on CBS This Morning, that man said something like, “Maybe athletes’ wives just shouldn’t talk so they don’t step in it.” “Perhaps Gisele just isn’t too smart,” I embarrassingly furthered. Then . . . it hit me. Gisele isn’t some dopey wife, she’s a shrewd business woman who carefully choreographed that concussion admission. She has children with Tom Brady, and there’s overwhelming evidence that the sport of football can cause permanent brain damage. Gisele’s job is to protect her family like the lioness that she is, and that includes pushing Brady’s retirement. They have enough money, he has enough wins, and he should get out while his faculties are still functioning. This was not an OOPS moment. This was beautifully strategized, and all the Tom Bradys of the world should be lucky enough to have a successful wife like Gisele. It’s time to retire.

Gisele Bundchen Says Sunscreen is Poison — So is Gisele Bundchen

Unless there is some sort of language barrier I’m unaware of, there is no excuse for Gisele Bundchen’s behavior.  Her most recent idiocy occurred at the launch of her own organic skin care line, when she said that she doesn’t use sunscreen, because she won’t “put that poison on her skin.”  This marks the third time Gisele has gotten herself into trouble while speaking, and I suggest she stop talking altogether.  She once said that all mothers should be legally required to breast feed their babies.  She also said she didn’t need an epidural while giving birth, and instead opted for “yoga and meditation.”  I’ll call my mother and ask what she opted for during childbirth, considering I turned out so incredible.  I’m guessing she didn’t meditate.

Gisele Bundchen Wants Breastfeeding Law — She’s a Doctor Now

Can models everywhere please refrain from talking out loud? Not all internal monologues are worthy of disclosing — especially the dumb ones. In a new interview, Gisele Bundchen, best known for her beautiful Victoria Secret breasts, thinks that there should be a breastfeeding law, as it’s not good to give your child chemical food at such a young age. Also — it helped her loose weight — which I presume was her real motivation. This is not the first annoying comment from Bundchen. When discussing her son’s birth, she said it was “painless” and that she substituted an epidural with “yoga and meditation.” If you believe that quote, she must be some kind of superhero. Either that, or her vagina is made of steel.