Axl Rose Rejects Guns N’ Roses Hall of Fame Induction — Massive Douchebag

Axl Rose has the most expensive grudge in the history of America. Despite media pressure and fan pleas, he has openly rejected the idea of appearing at the Guns N’ Roses Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Here’s what he had to say:

“I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N’ Roses to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of Guns N’ Roses.”

Here’s a translation for that ridiculous explanation: Axl Rose is a big baby. It’s absolutely astounding to me that Axl’s grudge toward his bandmates has basically cost him close to the billion dollars he stands to make on a reunion tour. Perhaps he should have a conversation with The Police or Simon and Garfunkel about burying the hatchet in the name of money. And in case you’re wondering about the history of Axl’s insanity, I’ll remind you of a very famous story for your reading pleasure. Once upon a time, Stephen Adler (the former drummer for the band) had a girlfriend named Adriana Smith. Axl wanted some sex noises on his song, “Rocket Queen,” so he invited Adler’s girlfriend to the studio and recorded himself having sex with her. Needless to say, when Adler found out — he wasn’t pleased. Listen below.

Guns N’ Roses United States Tour — No Original Members Present

When the media announced Guns N’ Roses’ United States tour, I found myself immediately confused. Why? Because with the exception of Axl Rose, no original members of the band will be present. Translation? — Axl Rose is touring as a Guns N’ Roses tribute band and attempting to fool the public into buying tickets. If Axl Rose could just swallow his pride and reunite with the original members, he’d stand to gain hundreds of millions of dollars on tour. Though Slash is open to such a reunion, he’s confident it will never happen because he “knows how vehemently [Axl Rose] hates him.” Perhaps Axl should take the money from this ridiculous tour and pay for a really good therapist who will help him hold hands with Slash again. That might be the greatest turnaround on an investment in history.

Slash on Axl Rose: "I Know How Vehemently he Hates me"

Slash stated in a recent interview that he would welcome having a conversation with Axl Rose, but he doubts it would happen because he knows how “vehemently he hates [him].”  He went on to say that he thinks Rose’s comeback record was phenomenal.  Aww….so cute.  Maybe we have a reunion in the works.  After all, Rose’s anger toward Slash costs him the hundreds of millions of dollars that he would earn with a real ‘Guns N’ Roses’ reunion.  It’s time to get the original guys together!!

Guns N’ Roses Stage Collapses

Guns N’ Roses had to cancel a gig on Sunday in Brazil after the stage collapsed because of the rain.  This marks the second show cancellation in Brazil, the first happening on Thursday, causing fans to storm the stage in protest.  Their Saturday show was also almost called off due to Axl Rose being “pelted with bottles” by fans.  Here’s my question: is it really fair to even call this band ‘Guns N’ Roses?’  Axl Rose is the only original member of the five person band.  As a sidenote, the guy in the picture below standing next to Axl Rose is not Slash, just a new member of “Guns N’ Roses” that fancied Slash’s hat.