By Guest Blogger: Josh Pey
Because so many high powered politicians get in trouble for cheating on their wives, I’ve asked my good friend to explain the phenomena to me. I’d do it myself, but that would mean I’d have to think like a man — and I hear that if you shut your brain down for too long it could cause permanent damage. That’s a joke, guys. I know you use your brain — some of the time. Anyways, Josh wrote a very funny (or insulting) guest post explaining the infidelity, with particular emphasis on Republican Congressman Christopher Lee’s recent resignation for sending naked pictures to his mistress on Craigslist. Enjoy!
Powerful men don’t get that way by accident. They are driven individuals. You have to sacrifice a lot of time, fun and other opportunities to become an NFL QB or a U.S. Congressman. What does that mean for relationships and random play and what does it say about the character of many of the men in these positions?
1. They’re egomaniacs. Not all of them, but the ones who get in trouble, for the most part, are. Huge egos need massaging and satisfying. That kind of satisfying. In the words of Dave Chappelle, if a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house. Well, these guys know that and they have accordingly built really nice houses to go with their really big egos.
2. They don’t have a lot of time for dating and drama. They’ve been busy since they were kids and haven’t had the time to spend on girl problems. When they get successful and that becomes an advantage instead of a handicap when they’re trying to get laid, they naturally capitalize on it.
3. They feel entitled to it. They worked hard to get to where they are and its time for them to screw some of the hot pieces of ass they’ve seen other guys with. For as long as they can. This ride can’t last forever, can it?
4. It’s right there. Chicks (very hot chicks) like to sleep with these guys. SEE: Tom Brady
5. Women are hypocrites. Most women pretend this conduct is disgusting, but ask them if they have a guy, or guys, they are fascinated with and most either admit it or blush and walk away. They hate it until they have the opportunity. We know this.
That’s all I’ve got. If you’ll excuse me, I am going to go back to eating a roast beef sub and watching NCAA Women’s Gymnastics. Who says female sports are boring?
Jesse James stopped by Howard Stern today to promote his new book, American Outlaw, and true to form, Howard Stern made me like Jesse James. James shed light on his marriage, saying that he and Bullock were having problems, and their adopted son brought them closer together. Though James hadn’t cheated for 11 months at the time his affairs were revealed, Bullock left him immediately after she learned of his infidelity. He said that most normal marriages might have survived, but Bullock was under media pressure to dump him, and she caved. He also revealed his issues with Bullock’s acting career, saying that he found her naked movie scenes “weird,” especially since she was involved in the production process, and she was hand-picking the hottest actors to co-star with. He said he felt as if he was “in a box” during the course of their relationship, because he was unable to behave the way he normally would, given that he was so concerned about ruining his wife’s image in the press. My only major issue with the interview was at the end, when Howard Stern asked James who was better in bed, and he called it a “no-brainer,” saying that Kat Von D is 100% better. That might be true, but some things are better left unsaid. Damn you Howard Stern for making me like Jesse James again. Stern could make a tub of goo look like a diamond necklace.