Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels — The Fakest Show Ever

I just watched two episodes of ‘Gene Simmon’s Family Jewel’s’ (yes, you should feel sorry for me), and it’s safe to say it’s even faker than ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians.’ When I saw Shannon’s outburst on Joy Behar, I was convinced that they were actually having relationship issues. I must embarrassingly revoke my claim. Joaquin Phoenix once pretended to have a public meltdown, and he told Letterman he was trying to prove how easy it is to dupe people, because it’s shocking how easily people believe these reality shows, especially since reality stars are such terrible actors. The Simmons family is no exception. At one point Gene’s son confronts him about how he treated his mother, saying, “if someone hurt your mother what would you do?” It’s so histrionic that I actually looked away from the screen out of discomfort. I have to remind myself that Gene Simmons is a musician — not an actor.

Letterman in on Phoenix Hoax — Betrayed by Writer?

It’s bad enough that Casey Affleck duped me with his ridiculous Joaquin Phoenix mockumentary, but now I find out that Letterman was in on it?  How dare he!  Letterman’s writer, Bill Scheft, told that Letterman knew prior to his interview with Phoenix that the whole thing was “all an act.”   I can’t decide what I’m more angry about: that Letterman tricked me, or that Bill Scheft betrayed Letterman by revealing the truth.  Allow me to explain.  Your job as Letterman’s writer is to make him look funny, not to promote your fantastic joke writing skills.  We all know that there is a slew of writers for each Late Night show, as it would be impossible for one man to single-handedly write his own jokes every night.  That being said, when you take an interview that was solely funny based on the premise that Letterman schooled Phoenix for his misbehavior, and expose that it was a trick, you’ve revealed the Wizard, and I don’t want to see the Wizard.  Learning the ins-and-outs of how shows get made, and who writes what joke, destroys the mystery.  So thank you, Mr. Scheft, for ruining one of my favorite Letterman interviews of all time.  In the future, keep the Wizard behind his curtain.

Casey Affleck is Shopping Around a Joaquin Phoenix Documentary – It’s Apparently Disturbing

Remember that Joaquin Phoenix appearance on David Letterman?  After the interview, many people speculated that it was all a hoax for Casey Affleck’s documentary about Phoenix.  Unfortunately, it might not have been fake after all.  Affleck’s documentary is complete, and he is now shopping it around.  Reports are circulating about some of the content in the film, and it’s pretty horrendous.  Of the many disturbing details, here are the highlights: someone defecates on Phoenix’s face; he snorts a line of cocaine and orders call girls; and he participates in oral sex with a publicist of “unknown gender.”  Wow – they sure weren’t kidding when they said Hollywood would strip you of your soul.  Is this supposed to have some sort of artistic merit?  Maybe I am an uptight prick, but I can’t see what the value is in watching someone self-destruct on screen.  Especially, when Phoenix’s brother died of a drug overdose at such a young age.  You would think this stuff would be taken a tad more seriously.  Watch the Letterman interview I’m referring to below.