On last night’s Britney/Brittany episode of Glee, I noticed the stand-out dance performance of Heather Morris, so I decided to look her up and find out her story. I was shocked to discover that she’s actually a professional dancer, and she performed with Beyonce at the Grammys as one of her Single Ladies. Considering there were only three Single Ladies in total (including Beyonce herself) that’s a pretty huge accomplishment. Apparently, she got the role on Glee because Ryan Murphy asked her to teach the Single Ladies choreography to the Glee cast, and he liked her so much, he hired her for the show. She’s been saying quirky one-liners ever since, while patiently waiting for her chance to strut her stuff. Last night was her chance, and she certainly took advantage of it. Overall, the episode was fantastic. My only complaint was that the men sang Stronger instead of Oops I Did It Again, but you can’t have everything. My favorite line in the episode was said by Heather Morris, when she touched a fellow student’s nappy hair and said, “it looks like a Jewish cloud.” To watch Heather Morris perform single ladies with Beyonce at the Grammys, watch the video below.
Category: General
‘Sister Wives’ Family Investigated — Can They Arrest TLC instead?
The stars of TLC’s new show, Sister Wives, are being investigated by Utah police for polygamy, and hopefully they will be thrown in jail. But what about TLC? Is it possible to throw an entire network in jail? If so, I’d like front row seats for the handcuffing. While I’m not opposed to documentary-style shows, I draw a line in the sand at shows like this. It’s gross. And even if I’m guilty of voyeuristically watching it (which I’m not), that doesn’t make it right. It’s disgusting, and should be pulled off the air. Network executives don’t get to high-five each other with a ratings hit, when the their hit show documents morally reprehensible behavior. And save your emails about moral relativism. Some things are objectively wrong, and this is one of them. I’d justify my claim with an actual argument, but that would be a boring waste of breath. Trust me — it’s gross.
Oprah Interviews Oksana — When Did Oprah Become a Tabloid?
I don’t know when Oprah shifted gears and became the National Enquirer, but it’s time to class-up the show again. Oprah plans to interview Mel Gibson’s former mistress, Oksana Grigorieva, presumably to confirm that Mel Gibson is psychotic. This isn’t the first time Oprah has interviewed a mistress. She also interviewed John Edwards’ baby mama about their affair. In case you missed that Rielle Hunter interview, I can personally confirm that she also drank the crazy juice. Who’s next — Rachel Uchitel? The only reason these people are famous is because of who they slept with, so unless Oprah plans on interviewing the actual celebrity involved in the affair, I’m not interested.
Lone Star Gets Canceled — Here’s What Went Wrong
I read a very entertaining Daily Beast interview with Kyle Killen, the creator of the recently canceled Fox show, Lone Star. He hoped the interview would help keep the show on the air. It didn’t work. Fox canceled it after just two episodes. Killen intrigued me enough to HULU the show, and I figured out the problem within the first fifteen minutes. The main character isn’t likable. He’s a con man with two wives, and he loves them both, and hopes to leave the business and “go straight.” The premise is flawed. You can’t have an unlikable main character, unless he’s a “crook with a heart.” But where’s the heart in loving two women? Is he a Mormon? Here’s how it should have been written: He should have had the two wives, but loved only one of them, with the other one unlikable. That way we know where his heart is, yet there would still be some juicy plot entanglement with the unlikable woman. Furthermore, the lead was a miscast. He’s far too young to pull off the double wife look. You can see his picture, along with the “wives,” below. Personally, I would have cast James Tupper. Perhaps I’ll get a call from the writer’s room next time around — a girl can dream.
Attention Hollywood — Stop Making Shows About Twitter
Sure twitter is interesting when it’s three in the morning and I’m suffering from insomnia. But when I exit cube-dom at the end of the day and turn on my television, I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than watch a show about Twitter. The new concept is called Shh, Don’t Tell Steve, and it’s based on the somewhat entertaining tweets of a man about the ridiculous happenings of his roommate. Can’t the Hollywood creanderthals think of anything more interesting? I realize that a person’s twitter page might be interesting, but then scoop up the tweeter as a writer, instead of actually making a show about the tweets itself. What’s the next step? A show about what it’s like to be a Starbucks barista, inspired by a creanderthal’s morning coffee run? Oh that’s right — they don’t get their own coffee.
Robin Quivers Should Date Garry Shandling
We all know that my celebrity look-alike posts need some serious work. But what about my celebrity match-making skills? Well, here goes nothing. Garry Shandling appeared on Howard Stern today to promote the Iron Man 2 DVD, and I noticed an interesting romantic connection between Shandling and Stern’s leading lady, Robin Quivers. Shandling often tried to engage Quivers during the interview, and Stern predictably squashed the side-conversation, because he likes to dominate his interviews. Shandling confessed that he’s never been married, but isn’t opposed to the idea. Since Stern has been discussing a Bachelorette-style dating show for Quivers, perhaps Shandling will make the list.
Desperate Housewives Spoiler — Did Carlos Go on a Diet?
On the Season 7 premiere of Desperate Housewives, I noticed something very interesting. Well, interesting in Dishmaster land, anyhow. Ricardo Chavira (also known as “Carlos”) seems to have lost a lot of weight, and I almost didn’t recognize him. Have the men on the show been infected with the Desperate Housewives disease? If you don’t know what I’m referring to, Dana Delany once said in an interview that when she started her role on the show as Katherine Mayfair, a costume designer warned her about catching the “Desperate Housewives disease,” which is an “unspoken competitive weightloss” amongst the lead actresses. Delaney said that even her on-screen daughter lost ten pounds. Judging from last night’s episode, he lost more than ten pounds. Watch a recent PSA with Ricardo below, where you can see the weight loss.
Courtney Cox Calls Cougar Town Nakedness “Brave” — I Disagree
Courtney Cox has once again discussed the Cougar Town scene where she poses in her bra and underwear, and exposes her “flaws.” Apparently, both she and Jennifer Aniston thought the scene was “brave.” Though I find her confession adorable, is there anything brave about a hot chick posing in a bikini? Sure, she’s forty, but her body is flawless, despite her protestations that her stomach has “changed” since having a child. What “change” is she referring to? The flatness? The abs? If you click the link below, I think you’ll agree. Here’s my suggestion: give me a role on Cougar Town and have me pose in a bikini. Now that would be brave.
Dancing With the Tears — Do the Stars Need Therapy?
Forgive me for being one of those emotionally devoid people that gets uncomfortable when others weep. But isn’t Dancing With the Stars supposed to be a safe venue for people like me? It’s a dancing show, so you would think that the stars would actually dance, instead of standing around crying all the time. And it’s not just the stars that cry. Carrie Ann Inaba makes a habit of it, and it consistently irks me. There’s a small part of me that wonders if the segment producers walk into the rehearsal room and say, “you know what the viewers would love? Just start hysterically crying about the frustrations of dance.” Anyways, this is a family show. So keep your therapy sessions off-screen.
Bret Michaels Naked Billboard Cover — I’m Disturbed
I’ve been in Bret Michaels’ corner since his Rock of Love days, where I overlooked his STD-filled bachelor pad, because the show was so darn entertaining. I even turned a blind eye to his ridiculous hair extensions. But this Billboard Magazine cover has officially crossed the line. He’s completely naked, and covered in some kind of goo. He also looks manorexic. Perhaps I should take back all my female-driven attacks about gratuitously posing naked. Apparently, men can do it too. To see the cover in question, click the link below.
Bret Michaels Covered in Goo
UPDATE: Billboard released the un-airbrushed version of the cover to prove that Bret’s abs are real. Click here to see it.