Serena Williams in Tight Red Dress — Letterman Has Heart Attack

The Dishmaster loves curvy girls, and Serena Williams fits the bill. And apparently, David Letterman agrees. Watch her Late Night interview below. She sure looked good.

Miley Cyrus Releases “Decisions” — Decide Against It

Silly me. I thought that when Miley Cyrus released her new song, she’d actually be singing. I’m told this is what those crazy kids call “dubstep.” If you don’t know what that is — it’s a fancy way of saying it sounds like shit. Listen below — but before you do — please read some choice lyrics I’ve selected from the song. Here goes:

Decisions, but I want it all so I get it all
I wanna eat the whole cake
I’m not sharing, I’m not sharing
You should have to learn how to bake

Mariah Carey’s New “Triumphant” Video — Underwhelms

To say I’m disappointed with Mariah Carey’s new single and video, would be a massive understatement. She should be reinventing herself, not executing the same tired formula she’s been doing for years. First, every song she writes is about “getting through the rain,” “triumphing through sorrow,” “staying strong.” Is there nothing else in her songwriting bag-of-tricks? Second, why must she flaunt her body in every shot? It appears borderline desperate, and it’s unnecessary at this stage in her career. And lastly, she’s barely singing. Who’s the star of the video? Is it Mariah? Or is it Rick Ross and Meek Mill? Before I end this post, let it be known that I unconditionally love Mariah Carey. That being said, this isn’t good enough.

Nelly Furtado Releases “Parking Lot” Lyric Video — AH AH AH AH HA EY HEY EY

Taking a note from Green Day’s handbook, Nelly Furtado released a lyric video for her new single, “Parking Lot.” Its good. I imagined myself dancing naked in front of the mirror while listening. Too much information?

Quote of the Day: Howard Stern on Tony Scott’s Suicide

“If I saw a guy jumping off a bridge would I try to stop him? No. That guy could be really strong and take me and throw me over the bridge. I wanna live.” Howard Stern on Tony Scott’s suicide and whether he would have done something if he were there.

Grey’s Anatomy Season 9 Promo — Did Anyone Survive?

The only thing clear about the promo for Season 9 of Grey’s Anatomy is that nothing is clear. My guess is that everyone else survives. Why? Because I don’t know any actors that would consent to a guest appearance after not having their contract renewed. Shonda Rimes would have had to terminate them at the end of last season. Watch the ridiculously vague promo below.

Penelope Cruz’s Nintendo Commercial — GENIUS!

Whoever thought of this commercial is a genius. To be fair, with that accent I’ll buy just about anything peddled by Penelope Cruz. But this sure makes me want to play Nintendo again. Watch below.

Teen Mom Sneak Peek: Maci Bookout Manipulates Her Ex With a Two Year Old

We’ve all been manipulated by adults who use their children to ask us favors, knowing that we’ll be less inclined to decline. And predictably, the very annoying Maci Bookout committed that sin on this week’s episode of Teen Mom. I still don’t know how the producers successfully painted her ex as the villain all these seasons when she’s clearly always in the wrong.