Some people are just objectively incorrect. And it’s up to The Dishmaster to point my electronic fingers at those people and call them ridiculous. When Michael Moore asserted that Osama Bin Laden should have been given a trial instead of being killed in cold blood, Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s head almost exploded. “The Nazi’s were given a trial,” said Moore. At which point Hasselbeck chirped, “the war was over.” I’m not sure why that distinction is relevant, and judging from Hasselbeck’s subsequent comments — neither is she. Moore also pointed out that the United States is an especially unique country because “we give even the most heinous person a day in court.” “That’s a right given to our citizens,” said Hasselbeck, and Osama Bin Laden doesn’t deserve that right.” Um . . . what? First, I highly doubt that the real reason she’s opposed to the idea of giving Osama a trial is because he’s “not a citizen.” I’m certain of this because of Hasselbeck’s comment that a trial “worked so well for Casey Anthony.” Need I mention that MY head almost exploded at this comparison?
Allow me to take you on a tangential-Dishmaster ride for a moment. Should we have convicted Casey Anthony just because we had a personal feeling that she was guilty? There was not enough evidence to support her conviction, which means that the judicial system worked upon acquitting her — not that it failed. Perhaps Hasselbeck should marry Rick Perry and live happily ever after with excessive executions on their conscience. Isn’t this woman pro-life? She’s opposed to killing a fetus, but she has no problem sentencing someone to the death penalty with minimal evidence? Talk about hypocrisy.
Whether or not I agree with Michael Moore is irrelevant. When a man makes a point — respond to it with something other than nonsense. And furthermore, allow him to finish a sentence without your obnoxious, arbitrary interjections.
I don’t know a lot of stuff. But what I do know is that we will never agree on abortion. I realize that pro-lifers think they can change minds by showing people pictures of fetuses, but I don’t think that works any better than members of PETA showing people videos of chickens being tortured. You’re either pro-life or pro-choice, and that is that. I often wonder if they bring up the topic just to test Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s ability to keep her head from exploding. I’m sick of hearing the topic debated. Has anyone ever witnessed someone discuss the topic and change their mind in the middle? I’ve posted an old clip below — but trust me — it’s one of about five thousand discussions on The View about the issue.
There’s a very specific reason I love Barbara Walters on The View. She’s the only sensible lady on the panel, and I often describe her as the Queen of England at a petting zoo. The “hot topic” on yesterday’s show, was the recent scientific explanation about how the wind, and not God, parted the Red Sea. Both Sherri Shepherd and Elizabeth Hasselbeck had a predictable field day with the topic, with Babs filling in for Whoopi Goldberg as moderator. I’ve attached the clip below for your enjoyment, and pay close attention to Barbara’s questions — it’s very funny. She asks both Sherri and Elizabeth multiple times whether they believe in evolution, likely because she was astonished at their response. She also kept asking them whether they believe that everything in the bible should be taken literally, and you’ll have to watch to see their answer. Be careful when you watch it though; your brain might melt.
Kathy Griffin appeared on ‘The View’ yesterday, and Elizabeth Hasselbeck was not too pleased to see her. Griffin often makes fun of Hasselbeck in her act, and at one point she even said to the press that “somehow, [she] has snowed American audiences into not knowing that she is a fucking Survivor reject. I am sorry; I am going to listen to the political beliefs of someone who wore wacky scarves on Survivor?” Hasselbeck broke her silent-treatment to ask Griffin if it’s uncomfortable for her to encounter the person that she makes “un-funny” jokes about. Griffin’s response? “Bring it bitch!” My first piece of advice to Hasselbeck is not to go toe-to-toe with a comedian – you’ll always lose. Second, if you are going to act like a pouty four year old every time you see someone on your show that has said mean things about you, it is time to work somewhere else. Watch the exchange below.
Erin Andrews responded to Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s tearful apology on ‘The View.’ In case you missed it, Hasselbeck said that she took the advice of her five year old daughter and called Andrews to ask forgiveness for basically saying that she’s a slut – followed by a reference to her stalker. Well, Andrews calls bull-shit. She said that she never spoke to Hasselbeck. Andrews was admittedly angry about the initial comments, stating that she cried when she heard it. She said that her biggest complaint is that Hasselbeck “made a mockery of something [she’s] lived through this last year.” She felt like it was a “slap in the face for victims of stalkers and victims of sexual predators.” This isn’t the first time that Hasselbeck has been called out for lying on ‘The View.’ When she and Rosie O’Donnell had their infamous fight, Hasselbeck claimed that they spoke and made up. O’Donnell refuted the claims, saying that even though Hasselbeck called her house, she didn’t answer the phone and the two never talked. Watch Hasselbeck’s apology below.