A close friend of mine told me that he didn’t realize how bad he was in bed until he taped himself and his girlfriend having sex. “I thought it would be hot,” he said, “but it was really depressing.” Because of my nameless friend, I’ve decided to never tape myself having sex. Oh yeah — and I don’t want to see my gigantic ass on camera. Does anyone? Apparently, celebrities love making sex tapes, and they love taking naked cell phone pictures even more. So are they raging narcissists that are also too dumb to realize the possibility of either losing their phone, or pissing a man off enough to sell those pictures one day? You might want to ask Miley Cyrus next time you see her, because she’s the newest celebrity involved in a naked picture scandal. And this isn’t the first time. Not too long ago she took racy photographs of herself in the shower, which made its way on the internet for the entire world to see. What’s that quote? “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I’m an asshole.”