Author: The Dishmaster

After reading some startlingly negative remarks about the Rolling Stones new single, “Doom and Gloom,” I assumed the worst. But it’s damn good. It’s true to their sound, and it’s catchy. Plus, it’s great that a band that has no financial need to release original material is still doing it — and doing it well. Listen below.

While I certainly understand what it’s like to have a sexual awakening after the end of a long relationship, I don’t understand publicizing it, especially when the entire world knows the identity of your ex, and your gratuitous bashing session involved very specific critiques such as, “I felt like my vagina died,” followed by chemistry comparisons to your current relationship, which involves sex akin to “Kenyan marathon runners.” It’s clear Olivia Wilde missed The Dishmaster’s memo on public decorum. The aforementioned remarks took place at ‘These Girls,’ a night of monologues hosted by Glamour. Wilde’s boyfriend, Jason Sudeikis was there, and her ex-husband, Tao Ruspoli, thankfully was not. I can only imagine Ruspoli’s pain upon not only discovering via a public forum that the woman who left him is now “wildly in love with someone else,” and has publicly announced their sexual issues. So Olivia Wilde — if you’re reading this — remember that you loved this man once. Then remember to have class.

My general policy on The Dishmaster is to refrain from posting if I have nothing nice to say. I’ll make an exception to that rule for Pink for her new “Try” video, since she’s often the subject of my excessive compliments. In short, I don’t like it. She’s doing some bizarre lyrical performance that I can only assume she thought of after watching too much ‘So You Think You Can Dance.’ On top of that, she’s not a dancer, and it shows. This is similar to my criticism of her trapeze performances, considering she’s not a trapeze artist either. I get it. She wants to push herself and be original. But if it’s not anywhere near her wheelhouse — it just doesn’t work.

“For four months, it was like some kind of 19th Century romantic fever. I lost 12 pounds in weight. I felt cold all the time. I took to lying on the sofa in the day, with a blanket over me and holding a hot-water bottle against my chest. I knew then why they call it heartbroken: you can feel it in your heart. I was distracted, almost to the point of madness.” Rod Stewart, on his heartbreak after his ex-wife, Rachel Hunter, left him.

This pop-tart was pitched to me as “the next Justin Bieber.” If you know The Dishmaster, then you know I don’t see that as a flattering comparison. That being said, I took a look, and I like the kid. I’m certainly not his target demographic, but I couldn’t resist posting it. Watch his video below, and check out his EP, ‘Because of You.’

There’s a special place in hell reserved for Mike Love. And when he gets there, I imagine that he’ll have to hear The Beach Boys albums on endless repeat, with a voice-over from God, saying, “How dare you wrong Brian Wilson!” As for the source of my venomous hatred, please just read the story from the Los Angeles Times, in which Brian Wilson wonderfully articulates his disappointment with Mike Love for dropping him and Al Jardine (another original member) from a continued tour with The Beach Boys in favor of what The Dishmaster likes to call his shitty-little-cover-band. Read the full story by clicking this link: Mike Love is a Prick.

Though I’m always thankful to live in Los Angeles, there are moments when that gratitude is exponentially multiplied. And those moments usually occur when I have the pleasure of seeing a great local music show at a small venue when the quality is worthy of stadium seating. It’s the kind of thing one can only experience in this city, and I had the fortunate pleasure of seeing it first hand at Zoey’s Cafe where Brother SAL, Joe Purdy, and Brian Wright performed together. Joe Purdy has been on my radar for quite some time, and Brother SAL randomly got my attention at a local Los Angeles venue named Piano Bar, where the guy brought down the house. As for the third performer, Brian Wright, this was the first time I’ve had the pleasure of seeing him play, but his two buddies circumvented his humility and called him “one of the greatest songwriters [they] know.” In short, it was magical.