Cheryl Burke & William Levy Dance Argentine Tango — Kill It!

The Argentine Tango has always been my favorite dance on Dancing With the Stars, and Cheryl Burke is one of my favorite professional dancers who doesn’t get the credit she deserves. She gets the best out of her partners, and her choreography is complicated without being over-the-top. And it doesn’t hurt that William Levy is not only talented, but he’s easy on the eyes. They easily stole the night with the Argentine Tango. Watch below.

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff — Best Freestyle — DWTS!

J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff won last night’s Dancing With the Stars freestyle round by a landslide. Though I love Derek Hough and Cheryl Burke, they barely compared. Burke’s freestyle was far too contained, and Hough’s lacked the originality and fun that he’s known for. Plus, Karina has never won the competition, and this is her year. Did I mention that she has one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen in my life? First I’ll buy that tiny little outfit as motivation, and then I’ll start ballroom dancing. Watch below.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy Dating Cheryl Burke — Huh?

I’m constantly editing my celebrities-I’d-like-to-ba*g-list, and I often fantasize that at the right club in Los Angeles, I could possibly land some of these very attractive men. One of those contenders is the spicy hot Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who is so good-looking he actually hurts my eyes. As it turns out, I might be able to land him after all. Maksim was spotted making out with Cheryl Burke at a club, and though I think Cheryl Burke is a very beautiful woman — let’s just say we are of the same vain. I find their hookup especially curious, since Maksim went on record insulting Cheryl’s weight, and Cheryl fired back, saying that the pressure to be thin from her “colleagues” was hurtful. I guess he got over it — and so did she.

Cheryl Burke Upset With Paparazzi for Publicizing Her Weight Gain

Call me a heartless prick, but I love to see pictures of celebrities when they gain weight.  It’s not because I enjoy the misery of others, it’s just that I’d like to believe that celebrities are sans cellulite because they have the time to spend the entire day doing squats.  So when pictures emerged of Cheryl Burke in a bikini looking larger than she did on Dancing With The Stars, I found it comforting.  I thought, “wow, Cheryl is a real human being that puts on weight during her breaks from the show.  Maybe now I won’t feel so bad about my gigantic ass.”  Unfortunately, Cheryl didn’t see it that way.   Instead, she’s said that those pictures forced her to go on an extreme diet and the paparazzi basically ruined her life.  So here’s my advice to Cheryl Burke: either get out of the kitchen or develop thicker skin (no pun intended).  Sensitive people don’t belong in this business — it’s way too cutthroat.