Dane Cook Has Had a Lot of Gross Groupie Sex

Dane Cook is a clear example of a comedian that should have landed an A-list lady in his prime, because he’s now the guy with a dirty p*nis that f*cked hundreds of groupies and insults Jessica Simpson for sport. Perhaps I’m humorless, but I feel defensive of the reigning fashion diva whose managed to make nearly a billion dollars. If she’s “dumb,” may we all forgo a few brain cells for her success. Also, leave it to the press to pounce on Dane’s insult instead of the alarming amount of groupies he gave it up to. That is GROSS, and he should soak his sausage in boiling water.

Dane Cook Apologizes for Dark Knight Joke

I get it. Stand up comedy is based on taking hot-button, touchy subjects and risking a backlash by twisting it into something funny. If you don’t take risks, then you’re not a comedian. That being said, Dane Cook’s joke was terrible. Yes it’s too soon to joke about such a colossal tragedy, but it also wasn’t funny — and that’s the key. In short, Cook basically suggested that the film was so bad, the audience was probably thinking they wanted to be shot. I’m paraphrasing horribly — but trust me — my summary is just as funny as the original phrasing. Cook got the message, and quickly said, “I am devastated by the recent tragedy in Colorado & did not mean to make light of what happened. I made a bad judgment call with my material last night & regret making a joke at such a sensitive time. My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims.” I won’t be too hard on the guy because the public has already given him their fair share of tongue-lashings and I’m sure he learned his lesson. But I wouldn’t be The Dishmaster if I didn’t make my point.

James Cameron on Oil Spill: "I’m Sorry I Called You Morons"

James Cameron has apologized for calling BP officials “morons” . . . sort of.  Cameron said that the media failed to report the details behind his initial comments.  Ah, the famous “they took my statements out of context” apology.  This reminds me of when Jessica Alba said that Dane Cook did extra love scenes on the set of “Good Luck Chuck” so that he could make out with girls.  When he emailed Jessica asking for an explanation, shes said her statements were “misconstrued.”  Cook’s response?  “I’d like to know the beginning and end of that quote.”