I’m rooting for Jessica Simpson. I’ve always been a fan, I watched newlyweds, and when she and Nick Lachey split up it felt like the end of an era. But they were young, and they didn’t stand a chance with the monkey of Hollywood on their back.
Since the show has ended, Jessica Simpson has had great success as a businesswoman and mother of three, and Nick Lachey has started a family of his own. It therefore baffles me why Jessica Simpson would take the route of writing a memoir, especially if she is not in the mental place to do it.
Though I know absolutely nothing about her on a personal level, it took me two seconds to watch her interview on The Today Show to surmise that even though she proclaims to be sober, something is awry. I by no means want to pick on her, but I also want to make it clear that I’m not buying what she’s selling￼, literally and figuratively. ￼￼
Though I wasn’t there and I don’t know Jessica Simpson personally, I’d bet some serious cash on the fact that she was under the influence during her recent HSN performance. Rumors have long circulated that she has issues with alcohol, and I dismissed their validity until watching the video below. Her team has been quick to dismiss the drama, suggesting that she was simply being her quirky self and being off a script can lead to less than perfect moments. Here’s my note for Jessica’s team: I can tell the difference between a drunk person and a nervous ditz. In case you don’t believe me, watch the video of Lauren Katlin attempting to answer a simple question during a pageant. Jessica’s Simpson’s slur-fest is video two.
When asked about her “biggest money mistakes” during an appearance on CNBC’s Closing Bell, Jessica Simpson joked about her “first marriage,” to Nick Lachey. Her answer is interesting on numerous levels. First, when Jessica married Nick Lachey, he was the primary earner, having made a lot of money with 98 Degrees. As a result, her father encouraged her to forgo a pre-nup, with the obvious assumption that it wasn’t in her interest. She didn’t anticipate that the financials would quickly turn and that decision would later work against her. At the time, rumors circulated that Lachey was a gentleman in his departure, taking home less than $1.5 million. Judging by Jessica’s joke, those rumors might not have been accurate. Watch below.
All celebrities swear their relationship is strong enough to survive reality television, despite overwhelming evidence against it. In a shocking move, Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg have boarded the same crazy train that saw the demise of far too many marriages. While I’m less surprised by McCarthy’s move, Wahlberg’s compliance is confusing. He’s an actor with credible credits, and his pop-star, NKOTB status likely secured enough finances for his entire family. And if they plan to restrict the show’s access to secure their privacy, the content will inevitably fail. This is a lose-lose proposition, and it’s not only creatively questionable, it’s also dumb.
Dane Cook is a clear example of a comedian that should have landed an A-list lady in his prime, because he’s now the guy with a dirty p*nis that f*cked hundreds of groupies and insults Jessica Simpson for sport. Perhaps I’m humorless, but I feel defensive of the reigning fashion diva whose managed to make nearly a billion dollars. If she’s “dumb,” may we all forgo a few brain cells for her success. Also, leave it to the press to pounce on Dane’s insult instead of the alarming amount of groupies he gave it up to. That is GROSS, and he should soak his sausage in boiling water.