Though Michele Bachmann’s antics are too lame to mention on a high-class blog such as this one, I decided to make an exception for her horrific use of the word, “chutzpah.” Stay off my block, Michele. My people don’t want you. Listen below.
Aaron Eckhart recently interviewed with Women’s Health Magazine to promote his new film, Battle: Los Angeles, and he told the magazine about his ideal woman, saying, “I love women who will play tennis with me, cycle with me, ski, snowboard, surf… any of it. A woman who takes care of herself turns me on.” Just when I thought that a Jew and a Mormon could live happily ever after, my dreams were destroyed. Aaron’s disclosure reminds me of the time I got asked out on a date by an “active” guy. When he asked if I like mountain biking, I said, “of course.” I’m not quite sure what tipped him off to my lie. Perhaps it was when I couldn’t get over a hill and fell off the bike into a pile of mud. Though I still fancy myself “athletic,” something tells me Aaron Eckhart won’t be playing tennis with me anytime soon.
I’ve heard Sherri Shepherd mention this before, and it’s so annoying I’m surprised I didn’t post about it the first time around. When discussing what cards to send to friends during holiday season, Shepherd says she consistently sends Christmas cards that mention Jesus because “that’s what she believes in.” When Behar asked if she sends those cards to her Jewish friends, Shepherd said yes, followed by the same ridiculous explanation. First of all, may I just say that I find it absolutely infuriating when I’m given Christmas cards? You guessed it — I’m a Jew. I don’t believe in Jesus, and I don’t want your Jesus card! Second, it’s incredibly selfish to use your own holiday as a barometer for what card to send out. Allow me to use an analogy for Sherri Shepherd. Should I give my friend who is allergic to chocolate a big box of chocolates for the holidays? After all, that’s what I eat! And if I eat chocolate, then she should too, right?
Aside from her very interesting experience with Mel Gibson, Winona Ryder’s GQ interview leaves much to be desired. She was arrested in 2001 for shoplifting, yet she never addresses that big, fat elephant. When asked, Ryder said, “It’s just like, nothing… I don’t, like, even… I mean, I know people still… I apologize, ’cause I understand the curiosity. I just don’t really want to go there.” She also says that she’s not getting the same roles because of her age, as they are all going to younger actresses. Either Winona’s representation isn’t doing their job, or she isn’t listening to them. So I’m going to do her a favor and release a statement on her behalf, so that she knows what to say the next time she’s asked. Here goes — “It’s something that I hope one day to put completely behind me. I was in a very dark place at the time, and I’ve done a lot of personal soul-searching since. That’s all I can really do.” Easy enough? What she shouldn’t do is evade the topic altogether by saying, “I just really don’t want to go there.” Until Winona sits down with Barbara Walters and discusses this, her career will never fully recover. It’s not an age issue — it’s a PR issue.
Can someone please explain how Mel Gibson got away with his career for as long as he did? I know that Hollywood continues to employ assholes — talent or not — but anti-Semites? According to Winona Ryder, she ran into him at a Hollywood party with her gay friend, and Gibson not only made a gay joke, but when he found out she was Jewish, he called Jews “oven dodgers.” Enough said.
May I start this post by saying that I’ve always hated Rick Sanchez, and this provides the perfect opportunity for me to vent my outrage? Oh yeah — and I’m a Jew. In an interview with Pete Dominick, Rick Sanchez unloaded on Jon Stewart. The fight started because Stewart often picks on CNN’s Sanchez, and Sanchez accused Stewart of bigotry for doing so. Why? Because Sanchez is latino, and Stewart “grew up in a suburban middle class New Jersey home with everything you could ever imagine.” When Dominick pointed out that Stewart is himself a minority, and therefore subject to prejudice, Sanchez sarcastically said, “everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart, and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart, and to imply that somehow they — the people in this country who are Jewish — are an oppressed minority? Yeah.” First of all, I grew up watching Rick Sanchez on my local Miami news station, and I found him to be a prick then, as I do now. Second, it’s disgusting to suggest that Jews are not minorities, and that “he can’t see somebody not getting a job somewhere because they’re Jewish.” Perhaps we should trade looks for a day and compare bigotry — just for shits and giggles. Lastly, Rick Sanchez is a prick. Did I mention that?
UPDATE: Rick Sanchez was fired. It must be because of all those Jews at CNN, right Sanchez? Listen below to hear his original comments.