“You know, [my husband] Joel [Madden] barely speaks all day, and then out of nowhere he has 9 million things to say, only for 30 minutes, from 9:00 to 9:30 P.M., when I’m watching Real Housewives.” Nicole Richie, on her husband’s very annoying habit of interrupting her reality-television-time.
Have you ever congratulated someone on being pregnant, only to be embarrassingly told that you’re wrong? It’s horrific, but the media has no problem doing it. Nicole Richie issued a much-needed, scathing attack on the press today, saying that not only is she “not pregnant” but to “publicly point out a change in anyone’s body is mean-spirited and cruel.” Kudos to Nicole for not only being smart enough to issue an articulate statement (unlike some other celebrities who will go unnamed), but for hopefully putting the kibosh on the practice of pointing out “baby bumps.” Good thing I carry all my weight in my lower body and therefore don’t have this problem. No one would dare ask me if I’m carrying a child in my ass.
If anyone should be making oodles of money off of reality stardom, it’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, of Jersey Shore. Almost every other reality star on television cannot even put two sentences together. Contrary to Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, The Housewives of Anywhere, and every cast member of The Real World’s last ten seasons, Mike Sorrentino actually has a personality, and he isn’t evil. Yes, the Jersey Shore folks drink lots of liquor and occasionally get it on with “grenades.” But alcoholism and sexual promiscuity is far more respectable then ripping out hair extensions and rubbing someone’s toothbrush against a shit-filled toilet bowl. So congratulations to The Situation on his five million dollars, and please be sure not to squander your money on excessive GTL.