Katy Perry Covers Vogue: Says Russell Brand Dumped Her Via Text

20130618-105520.jpgWell this is one for the record books. An A-list celebrity actually disclosed something personal without slinging mud. When asked about her ex-husband, Russell Brand, Katy Perry told Vogue, “He’s a very smart man, a magical man and I was in love with him when I married him. Let’s just say I haven’t heard from him since he texted me saying he was divorcing me December 31, 2011.” I’m sure Brand has his own side, but that certainly makes me feel better about some of my own personal breakup stories.

Russell Brand on ‘Morning Joe’ — Anchors Have Massive Meltdown — WATCH

It’s always wonderful to begin an interview with a daft declaration about never having heard of the guest. It’s even better to treat one’s guest like a monkey in a zoo, refrain from asking any questions at all, and turn to your colleagues who are equally idiotic. Watch Russell Brand on Morning Joe below. If you didn’t think the guy was talented before, you’ll probably change your mind when you see his kind attempt to bail out these blundering fools.

Quote of the Day — Russell Brand on Chic-Fil-A

“[It’s] a racist chicken dispensary.” Russell Brand on Chic-Fil-A, at the Television Critics Association summer press tour. He later clarified his statements, saying, “Didn’t Chick-Fil-A say that they’re racist now? Or homophobic? I get mixed up with the prejudices.” As an aside, his FX talk show got renewed for 7 additional episodes. Good work, Russell.

Quote of the Day — Russell Brand Tells Howard Stern Why His Marriage Ended

“I got married because I fell in love, and I got divorced because it wasn’t working.” Russell Brand’s very astute yet simple explanation to Howard Stern on why his marriage ended, in response to Stern’s inquiry about the truth behind the many tabloid rumors about his relationship.

Russell Brand Writes Tribute to Amy Winehouse — Beautiful

Russell Brand has been very vocal about his own struggles with addiction, so his open tribute to her was especially moving.  I’ve posted a few choice quotes below.  To read his entire letter, click here.

  • “When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. There will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they’ve had enough, that they’re ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it’s too late, she’s gone.  Frustratingly it’s not a call you can ever make it must be received. It is impossible to intervene.”
  • “Winehouse and I shared an affliction, the disease of addiction. All addicts, regardless of the substance or their social status share a consistent and obvious symptom; they’re not quite present when you talk to them. They communicate to you through a barely discernible but un-ignorable veil.”
  • “It was only by chance that I attended a Paul Weller gig at the Roundhouse that I ever saw her live. I arrived late and as I made my way to the audience through the plastic smiles and plastic cups I heard the rolling, wondrous resonance of a female vocal. Entering the space I saw Amy on stage with Weller and his band; and then the awe. The awe that envelops when witnessing a genius . . . . She wasn’t just some hapless wannabe, yet another pissed up nit who was never gonna make it, nor was she even a ten-a-penny-chanteuse enjoying her fifteen minutes. She was a f**king genius.”
  • “Now Amy Winehouse is dead, like many others whose unnecessary deaths have been retrospectively romanticized, at 27 years old. Whether this tragedy was preventable or not is now irrelevant. It is not preventable today. We have lost a beautiful and talented woman to this disease.”

Russell Brand Won’t Get Pre-Nup — Hollywood Divorces Taught Him Nothing

Russell Brand revealed that he won’t be getting a pre-nuptial agreement for his upcoming marriage to Katy Perry, because he’s “trying to preserve and make it a beautiful thing.” Call me a cynic but just about everything is beautiful until things go sour, and half your fortune is gone. Perhaps Brand can learn a thing or two from Hollywood marriages gone wrong. My favorite fortune-squandering story involves Sam Simon, one of the three original creators of The Simpsons. Simon was married to Jennifer Tilly for seven years, and they officially divorced just two years after The Simpsons aired, which means that Tilly gets half of Sam Simon’s royalties for the rest of her life. When asked by Howard Stern whether it drives him nuts that she gets half, Simon simply said, “it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do about it.” Simon is less guilty than Russell Brand though, who already has his fortune going into his marriage with Katy Perry. Translation? Brand should know better.

Chelsea Handler Panned by Same Critics who Panned Russell Brand

Is there some sort of journalism school that critics go to, where they teach them how to be incessantly negative, regardless of quality? Chelsea Handler hosted the Video Music Awards, and to be expected, the critics bashed her. Almost every single host for the Video Music Awards has been bashed by critics, including the great Russell Brand, who was initially slaughtered in the press, and then invited back the following year, once Mtv saw its ratings jump. Similar to Brand, Chelsea Handler’s hosting stint brought huge ratings, despite the criticism.  To prove my point, I’ve compiled a list of the arbitrarily harsh critics that insulted Handler, and pulled their very same critiques of Russell Brand.  Enjoy!

New York Times

Chelsea Handler: “And then there was the awkward plight of the night’s host, Chelsea Handler. She was among the worst in the show’s history — purposefully out-of-touch, with brief, alarming flashes of off-color racial humor.”

Russell Brand: “He was the host of last year’s MTV Video Music Awards, where he was mischievous but seemed slightly pale and lost, a potty-mouth Ziggy Stardust brought down to earth. That’s about all, though.”

Headline Planet — Brian Cantor

Chelsea Handler: “Humor was also much appreciated, given how intently host Chelsea Handler tried to murder comedy over the course of the broadcast.”

Russell Brand: “Though host Russell Brand’s opening monologue was sexually charged, it did not feature the edgy content necessary to rival last year’s controversy.”

Alan Sepinwall — Hitfix

Chelsea Handler: “It pains me to say it, but Chelsea Handler was in over her head with hosting duties. The stage was just too big for her and the audience too distant. She boringly oscillated between jokes about sleeping with rappers and jokes about partying hard, sometimes with a dash of absurdist bad behavior (like trying to steal Justin Bieber’s ‘wig’).”

Russell Brand: “Perhaps it was the fervor and speed at which every joke needed to be delivered, but Russell Brand’s humor seemed to fall flat left and right.”

Nekesa Mumbi Moody– Associated Press

Chelsea Handler: “Host Chelsea Handler gave the show its traditional bawdiness, though her jokes often fell flat.”

Russell Brand: “There were a few more laughs during comedian Russell Brand’s opening monologue, but the celeb audience seemed more nervous than amused, as the frenetic Brit took aim at Madonna, the virginity of teen sensations the Jonas Brothers and President Bush, whom he called “a retarded cowboy fellow.”