Kenneth Branagh in MacBeth! — WHAT?!!!

Kenneth Branagh belongs on stage, and he certainly belongs on stage when he’s acting in one of Shakespeare’s plays. The extremely talented thespian (see Hamlet) will star on Broadway alongside Alex Kingston in a production of MacBeth. Branagh has had numerous stints behind the camera (see Thor), but his true craft is that of acting. Now if only I could transport myself back to high school to use his portrayal as a cheat sheet once again (see Hamlet).

Movie Review: The Avengers

Joss Whedon is a genius. He not only made a great film, but he also successfully reinvigorated four suffering franchises. That’s an epic move for Marvel, who will now be able to capitalize on the missteps of other directors, who caused significant damage to Hollywood’s biggest money-makers (see ‘Iron Man 2’ and Edward Norton’s ‘The Hulk’). The plot might actually be less important than the dialogue. All you need to know is someone is trying to destroy the world, and The Avengers are commissioned to prevent it. Their unity proves to be a hilariously difficult task, and they often spend more time fighting each other than the enemy. Does it get better than Iron Man insulting Thor’s dated manner of speaking, or everyone insulting The Hulk’s awful temper? The beauty of this film is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s an action film worth every penny, which is something difficult to achieve in such an ailing economy.


Roger Ebert Still Hates ‘Thor’ — Won’t Apologize for Movie Review

Leave it to Roger Ebert stand firm amidst harsh criticism. In a nutshell, Ebert hated Thor, and the Thor fans attacked him. Instead of apologizing or re-evaluating his review, Ebert explained his points, and as expected, I’m once again flooded with Roger Ebert love. I’ve posted some choice quotes from his non-apology below. Sit back and enjoy it, because no one can engage in a war of the words quite like Roger Ebert.

On Fan Hatred of his Review

After my “Thor” review hit the fan, I was pummeled by outraged comments. A large number cited factual inaccuracies and speculated that I had not seen the movie at all. Some stated that as a fact. One called for me to be fired. Of course I saw the movie. I haven’t spent 44 years at this to start making things up now. I might indeed question how many other movies some of my correspondents have seen, since they confused “Thor” with a good film.

On getting one of the robot’s name wrong in his review

With some films every frame seems to register. Others have a strange quality of slipping wraith-like through my mind without hitting any brain cells. If the robot was named the Destroyer, the best reason for my failure to recall its name was that I just didn’t give a damn.

On His Inaccuracies in describing the film’s plot

Obviously my mistake was to get into the plot at all. One of my weaknesses is to play with the logic of preposterous movies like this. I consider that an amusing exercise, to be read as entertainment and not taken so damned seriously.

On Thor Being a Bad Movie

Does it make a movie “good” because you “like” it? No, it doesn’t, and I have liked a lot of bad movies. It is helpful to separate one’s immediate amusement from more lasting standards. “Thor” is a minor superhero movie with a boring back story and an underwhelming weapon (his hammer).

Movie Review: Thor

I’ve been delaying this movie review for as long as possible, because it’s been hard to process my feelings about the film. When I left the theater, I was convinced I didn’t like the movie. In retrospect, I think my complaints are a bit more specific than an overall dislike.

The movie opens with Odin waging war against the Frost Giants of Jotunheim to prevent them from conquering the nine realms, including Earth. The Asgardians seize their source of power and the Frost Giants attempt to retrieve it just before Thor (Odin’s son) is about to ascend to the throne. When Thor travels to Jotunheim to confront their leader, an all-out war erupts, and Odin is forced to intervene. Because Thor is unapologetic and arrogant about his actions, Odin exiles him to earth, in hopes that he’ll learn his lesson.

Before I continue, I’d like to confess that I ripped that entire plot off from Wikipedia, because I had absolutely no idea what was going on for the first twenty minutes of the film. That’s either because I have a pea-sized brain, or because I was not familiar with the story before entering the film, and it wasn’t properly executed for comic-book novices such as myself. Regardless, that opening scene was simply too long. The real fun of the film begins when Thor is banished to earth, and he becomes a fish out of water.
Continue reading “Movie Review: Thor”

THOR Press Conference — Recap and Review

When Chris Hemsworth entered the room for the Thor press conference last weekend, I was quickly told by a fellow journalist to “stop drooling,” at which point I told him not to “blow my cover.” The truth is — I was drooling. Hemsworth is certainly dreamy, and judging by his answers during the conference, he’s also a very nice guy. When asked how it feels to be the new summer hunk, Hemsworth humbly brushed it off, saying that he’s just happy to be a working actor.

Kat Dennings did not disappoint, serving as the comic relief on film and in person. Because she started off quiet, I thought she might have an attitude problem — but my feelings quickly changed when she was asked her first question. Before responding, she commented on the “phallic” shape of the microphone, which created quite the laugh. She also admitted that she thought no one would ask her anything, and she’d therefore have no choice but to “wing” her answers.
Continue reading “THOR Press Conference — Recap and Review”

Kenneth Branaugh Hated Christian Hemsworth’s ‘Thor’ Muscles

I must confess that nothing disgusts me more on a man than chizzled muscles. While I don’t want to date a Pillsbury Doughboy, I also don’t want a man with bigger boobs than myself, which often happens with body-builders. So when Kenneth Branaugh expressed his objection to Christian Hemsworth’s excessive body-building for Thor, I had no choice but to post it. Read below:

His costume required a very sculpted shape and at one point he just started getting wider. He was like as wide as Los Angeles at one point and had absolutely no neck left. He had to eat like every three minutes. It seemed like every time I turned around someone was bringing him pasta or a basket of chicken. We ended up getting him back to being a lean, mean fighting machine, and so he was ultimately not too big. He was Thor the God and not Thor the bodybuilder.