THE DISHMASTER

Paris Hilton’s interview with ‘Good Morning America’ proves why celebrities need to hand-pick interviewers that they trust. I understand that Paris Hilton might be a faux celebrity whose fame came from her family’s empire, but so are a lot of other very respected individuals that don’t get the same level of criticism. Ever heard of Christian Slater? His mother was a Hollywood agent who gave her son a ticket into the business, and he’s been acting ever since. Sure he might be a good actor, but would you ever know his name if not for nepotism? So when Paris Hilton sits down for an interview, is it really fair for the jackass (also known as Dan Harris) asking her questions to inquire whether she’s “washed up?” It’s a rude sneak-attack, and don’t invite someone onto your network if your only intention is to embarrass and humiliate them. And furthermore, it’s extremely unfair to blast her in a voice-over, especially when she has no final approval over the segment. This brings me to my original point — only do an interview with Barbara Walters. Other than that — stay away.

I’ve made it clear time and time again how much I detest every interviewer but Barbara Walters, and Diane Sawyer is no exception. There’s a clip below of her interview with Jaycee Dugard, and needless to say, Sawyer stinks. She doesn’t even ask a question. She instead makes a statement of fact and pauses, forcing an uncomfortable silence with Dugard, who is then awkwardly filling in the conversational gaps with what she thinks Sawyer wants to know. Isn’t there a school you go to as a journalist where they tell you that an interview actually involves asking a question, instead of inserting uncomfortable pauses in a conversation? Can Babs please come out of retirement for the big interviews? I realize they both work at ABC, but there’s no excuse for Walters’ absence on this one.

If you’re a Dishmaster fan, then you know my Barbara Walters love, and her interview with Bristol Palin on The View further solidifies it. When addressing Bristol’s claim that Levi Johnston “stole her virginity,” because she was drunk when they had sex, Walters said, “you must have liked it because you kept doing it.” The audience laughed, and Bristol said she figured she might as well continue, as she had already “broken her moral code.” Wow. What’s the moral code on implying that someone sexually took advantage of you so you could sell books?

For whatever reason, this blog has become very centered on Paris Hilton lately. Perhaps my brain is deteriorating. For those that don’t know, Hilton and Barbara Walters had a recent scuffle, which the press blamed on Barbara’s hard-hitting questions during their interview. Paris addressed the issue in an interview with E! below, and she handled it surprisingly well. Instead of firing back at the ladies of The View, she took the high road and said she respects Babs’ journalist skills, and the press blew the entire thing out of proportion. Who knew Paris could form actual sentences? Good job! Watch below.
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Rumor has it that Paris Hilton was furious with her interview on The View because of Barbara Walters’ interrogation. Believe it or not, I actually side with Paris Hilton. If you watch the interview below, Barbara asked some very judgmental questions. She pointed out that Paris resented her community service and complained that she didn’t want to get out of bed. Barbara said she should have been pleased to help prisoners instead of complaining about her “high heels.” Here’s the thing — Does anyone actually like doing community service? Perhaps I’m a heartless prick, but every time I do something good I complain the entire time. What’s the fun in giving if you can’t kvetch about it? And furthermore, no one really believes that Paris Hilton is a “business woman.” So if you’re going to invite her on your show then you better be nice. You shouldn’t be inviting annoying guests just so you can publicly lambaste them.
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Before I start this post, I’d like to express my strong dislike for Sarah Palin. Having said that, I’m about to defend her. News outlets everywhere are still citing Katie Couric’s infamous question about Sarah Palin’s reading choices as a hard journalistic revelation. Allow me to put this to bed. When Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin what newspapers she reads and Palin refused to answer, everyone assumed that Palin simply didn’t read. But here’s the snag: if I’m being interviewed, and the “journalist” asks me what newspapers I read, I might tell such “journalist” to take a flying leap (or something laced with more profanity, which I’ll refrain from printing, because it’s not lady-like). The question itself implies negative judgment, and a real journalist wouldn’t ask it (such as Barbara Walters, for example). I’m fully confident Palin dodged that question because she was offended, and not because she’s never heard of the New York Times. Even a monkey knows about the New York Times. And before my readers attack me, please read the first sentence of this post again.

If there’s a public interest in losing your job, you might as well cash in on it, right? When Barbara Walters asked Katie Couric if she was leaving CBS during her appearance on The View, Couric squirmed. At the time, I knew why. She didn’t want to give The View a huge amount of press with nothing in return. Why not make some money on your job loss? Couric chose People Magazine for her big announcement, and I imagine they paid her a pretty penny for the revelation. If there truly wasn’t bad blood between Couric and CBS, she might have gladly given CBS the free publicity.

I really want to forgive Mel Gibson. I promise I do. I’m Jewish, and his original, bigoted mess offended me, but I believe in second chances. I’m even willing to go see his movies again on one condition. He has to be genuinely contrite, and he has to have learned his lesson. Judging by his recent exclusive interview with Deadline Hollywood, he isn’t and he hasn’t. I can tell he’s in a lot of personal pain from the interview, but I can also tell that he’s still not ready to accept full responsibility. To be fair, when asked if he feels regret over the tapes, he responded with “of course,” but he also said that he’s “never treated anyone badly or in a discriminatory way based on their gender, race, religion or sexuality — period” and that the tapes were “edited.” He said that he was in the “height of a breakdown,” and what he said “doesn’t represent what [he] truly believes, or how [he's] treated people his entire life.” I have trouble making sense of his point, especially since using bigoted language is unacceptable, at the height of a breakdown or not. The breakdown explains it, but it doesn’t justify it. Gibson seems to continuously argue that his actions and words are different, instead of just outright admitting that his words were reprehensible. He needs to just say, “what I said was horrific, and I’m working on myself to figure out where that hatred came from.” My last piece of advice for Mel Gibson is to sit down with Barbara Walters. She’s the master of career clean-up, because she asks the right questions and withholds judgment. It’s a really bad idea to do an interview for a website, which requires a lot of reading, and where you’re unable to be seen on camera looking genuine. Gibson is a charismatic guy, and if I’m wrong and he’s truly contrite, that will be clear on camera. Lastly, this interview was way too damn long. My brain started to hurt toward the end, especially since almost half of it was about his new film, The Beaver. He shouldn’t clean up his image while promoting a movie. Image-cleanup needs to appear agenda-less.

I have to give Denise Richards a lot of credit.  She sure knows how to stay classy amidst Charlie Sheen’s recent troubles.  If I remember correctly, Denise Richards fired her last publicist after she mishandled the media fire-storm surrounding Denise’s relationship with Heather Locklear’s ex-husband, Richie Sambora.  Since then, she’s done a complete turn-around in the press, even appearing on Howard Stern to clear the air.  She proved on The View today that she can certainly handle an interrogation.  The ladies wanted her to discuss Sheen, and she refused.  Every answer she gave was creatively evasive, and at one point she even said, “there’s plenty of books out there for children going through the same thing.”  When they asked her to recommend a book, she refused, obviously because any title would disclose precisely what she was trying to avoid discussing.  In response to Barbara Walters’ question about “what she says to her children, Denise simply said, “what do you say?”  Good job, Denise.  It was four-on-one, and you took those yentas down!

I like Whoopi Goldberg, but her valley girl impersonation has to go, and I think Barbara Walters agrees. The audience never really laughs, and the rest of the ladies always look uncomfortable. I’m surprised Walters hasn’t put a stop to it, but today’s show exposed a semblance of Walters’ internal monologue, when she jokingly screamed at Whoopi, “you are annoying!” Watch the show below, and go to minute 13 to see the exchange begin.