There’s something very sad about this season’s American Idol — and I’m not referring to the loss of Simon Cowell (though that pains me as well). It’s the loss of Paula Abdul. There needs to be a beautiful, somewhat ditzy woman on the panel, who makes you tune in to see what crazy things she’ll say. Since re-casting Paula Abdul would likely damage the new brand that X-Factor is trying to present, it only makes sense to cast someone similar. Jessica Simpson is perfect! Like Paula, Jessica Simpson has had a huge career, most notably with her fashion empire. And also like Paula, Jessica has trouble expressing her point, and often comes off ridiculous in interviews. She’s certainly more together than the often slurring Abdul, but I predict that Simpson’s interplay with Simon Cowell would be television magic. Plus, I have a special attraction to woman with gigantic boobs and I’d like to see her outfits every week. After all, I’m a Kinsey 2.