Author: The Dishmaster

Michelle Obama Won’t Watch the Republican National Convention — But You Should

Michelle Obama continues to remind me why I like her. When Letterman asked if she’d watch the Republic National Convention, she honestly said she won’t, but insisted that the voters should. Translation? “It’s super dumb, and I can’t be bothered.” Watch below.

Movie Review: The Expendables 2

WRITTEN BY: DAN O’CONNELL, CONTRIBUTING WRITER

When our favorite crew of mercenaries led by Barney (Sylvester Stallone), Lee (Jason Statham) and the rest of the boys are blackmailed into doing a job in Bulgaria by the vindictive Mr. Church (Willis), things naturally go awry and they run afoul of one Jean Villain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), who’s using Bulgarian residents to salvage plutonium out of an underground mine. So along with Booker (Chuck Norris) and Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), they blow tons of stuff up and shoot countless rounds of semi-automatic ammo to take him down. While it lacks the freshness of the first installment, the gang knows what their audience wants – blood, guts and mindless, unrealistic violence – and delivers it without flinching.

OVERALL RATING: 3.5 DISHES

TABLOID GOSSIP — NEWS REVIEW


 

  • Chris Brown’s mom isn’t happy with Rihanna. Perez
  • Did “The Bachelorette’s’ Emily Maynard cheat? WetPaint
  • Vanessa Marcil is getting divorced. Wonderwall
  • Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again. Rumor Fix
  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are officially divorced. Huffington Post
  • Nicki Minaj might be a new judge on ‘American Idol.’ Contact Music
  • Avril Lavigne is engaged to the lead singer of Nickelback. Hollywood Tuna
  • Megan Fox has a big baby bump. Socialite Life
  • Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen have a very healthy relationship. Radar Online
  • Did Rob Pattinson cheat too? Jezebel
  • Miley Cyrus got a new haircut. Showbiz Spy 
  • Former SC governor, Mark Sanford, is engaged to his mistress. NYT
  • Usher’s custody battle ended in a victory for the singer. TMZ
  • Snooki gave birth. MTV

 

Quote of the Day — Lance Armstrong Stripped of Titles

“I refuse to participate in a process that is so one-sided and unfair. Regardless of what Travis Tygart says, there is zero physical evidence to support his outlandish and heinous claims. The only physical evidence here is the hundreds of controls I have passed with flying colors. I made myself available around the clock and around the world. In-competition. Out of competition. Blood. Urine. Whatever they asked for I provided. What is the point of all this testing if, in the end, USADA will not stand by it? . . . . I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours. We all raced together. For three weeks over the same roads, the same mountains, and against all the weather and elements that we had to confront. There were no shortcuts, there was no special treatment. The same courses, the same rules. The toughest event in the world where the strongest man wins. Nobody can ever change that. Especially not Travis Tygart.” Lance Armstrong, on why he’s given up the fight against the USADA’s never-ending witch hunt and subsequently been stripped of his titles.

Kathie Lee Confirms Taylor Swift Crashed the Kennedy Wedding

It appears that Taylor Swift’s squeaky clean star is starting to dim. In what can only be classified as a badass move, Kathie Lee Gifford officially confirmed that Taylor Swift crashed a Kennedy wedding when she refused to leave despite being asked twice. Apparently her boyfriend forgot to RSVP and the mother-of-the-bride felt Swift’s attendance would detract from her daughter’s big day. It takes some nerve to stick around when you’re not wanted, and it takes even bigger nerve to publicly deny the occurrence when multiple witnesses say otherwise.

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Miley Cyrus Releases “Decisions” — Decide Against It

Silly me. I thought that when Miley Cyrus released her new song, she’d actually be singing. I’m told this is what those crazy kids call “dubstep.” If you don’t know what that is — it’s a fancy way of saying it sounds like shit. Listen below — but before you do — please read some choice lyrics I’ve selected from the song. Here goes:

Decisions, but I want it all so I get it all
I wanna eat the whole cake
I’m not sharing, I’m not sharing
You should have to learn how to bake

Mariah Carey’s New “Triumphant” Video — Underwhelms

To say I’m disappointed with Mariah Carey’s new single and video, would be a massive understatement. She should be reinventing herself, not executing the same tired formula she’s been doing for years. First, every song she writes is about “getting through the rain,” “triumphing through sorrow,” “staying strong.” Is there nothing else in her songwriting bag-of-tricks? Second, why must she flaunt her body in every shot? It appears borderline desperate, and it’s unnecessary at this stage in her career. And lastly, she’s barely singing. Who’s the star of the video? Is it Mariah? Or is it Rick Ross and Meek Mill? Before I end this post, let it be known that I unconditionally love Mariah Carey. That being said, this isn’t good enough.