Author: The Dishmaster

D.L. Hughley on Colorado Shooter: “Someone Should Have Had a Gun”

It’s funny that D.L. Hughley is on ‘The View’ to promote a book about people who talk more than they listen, when D.L. is an infamous non-listener. Watch him assert a brilliant theory about how someone in the Aurora movie theater should have been carrying a gun to go head-to-head with the shooter. Right — because that would have certainly helped.

Vince Vaughn Remaking The Brady Bunch — HUH?@!

When I first read that Vince Vaughn and CBS were remaking The Brady Bunch, I thought it was a prank. When I realized it was true I scratched my head and thought, “These studios are glorified prostitutes. They’ll do anything for the money.” The new series will focus on Bobby Brady, whose life will basically mirror the joined family element of the original series. To be fair, this is only in the development stages and likely won’t make it into production. Let’s hope so anyhow.

Barbara Walters on the Queen of England: “She Doesn’t Know How to Smile”

Not a day goes by where I don’t count my blessings for getting a daily dose of Barbara Walters on ‘The View.’ Yesterday was particularly special, because Walters took a moment to make a hilarious point about the Queen’s inability to smile. “There were these adorable children [at the Olympics] who were singing, ‘God Save the Queen,'” she said. “Would it have killed her [to smile]?” she said. Watch below.

Courtney Love to Lana Del Rey — “‘Heart-Shaped Box’ is About My Vagina”

Courtney Love has said her fair share of messed up sh*t, but this one actually made me laugh very hard. Here’s the story in a nutshell: Music’s Up-and-coming it-girl, Lana Del Rey, covered Nirvana’s song, ‘Heart-Shaped Box.” According to NME, Lana Del Rey once said of the song, “When I was 11, I saw Kurt Cobain singing [it] on MTV, and it really stopped me dead in my tracks. I thought he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Even at a young age, I really related to his sadness.” So what did Courtney Love do to soil (no pun intended) this poor girl’s vision of the song? She divulged the “true” meaning on Twitter, saying, “You do know the song is about my Vagina right? ‘Throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back,’ umm… On top of which some of the lyrics about my vagina I contributed. So umm next time you sing it, think about my vagina will you?”

Olympian Ryan Lochte Talks to​ Women’s Health Magazine — What’s His Type of Woman?

Photograph By Peter Yang

Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte is the new it-guy of swimming. And in case you’d like to add him to your fantasy-man list, read some choice quotes from his interview with Women’s Health Magazine. To read the full interview, click here.

When you see a woman you want to meet, you …
“Make eye contact. Some guys keep staring, but I’ll give a wink and come back later, because it keeps her thinking.”

What confuses you about the opposite sex?
“It’s impossible to know what you’re thinking. If I could have one superpower, I’d be like Mel Gibson in What Women Want, where he reads women’s minds.”

What do women look hottest in?
“One of my long-sleeve button-down shirts and that’s all. The second hottest thing: white jeans.”

Tiffani Amber Thiessen Address Jennie Garth Feud on Howard Stern

Who would have thought that Tiffani Amber Thiessen would make a great Howard Stern interview? The juiciest part of her Stern sit-down involved his Jennie-Garth-feud questions. Though she wouldn’t divulge much, she did give some substantial clues about what went wrong, saying “I was the one who was hurt.” When Stern asked his sidekick, Robin Quivers, for a translation of Tiffani’s cryptic response, Thiessen confirmed Robin’s suspicion that Garth wasn’t there for her in her time of need. Thiessen also said that the female members of the 90210 cast weren’t nice to her when she join the show, and it’s “ironic that her friendship with Garth ended just the way it began.” Ouch!

Quote of the Day — Russell Brand on Chic-Fil-A

“[It’s] a racist chicken dispensary.” Russell Brand on Chic-Fil-A, at the Television Critics Association summer press tour. He later clarified his statements, saying, “Didn’t Chick-Fil-A say that they’re racist now? Or homophobic? I get mixed up with the prejudices.” As an aside, his FX talk show got renewed for 7 additional episodes. Good work, Russell.

Randy Jackson Will Return to American Idol — But Not As a Judge?

When I saw the clip below of Randy Jackson’s evasive-sounding “yes” in response to whether he’d return to American Idol, it became immediately clear what’s between the lines. My guess? “Yes” he will return, but it won’t be as a judge. It will be as a behind the scenes mentor. Watch below.