In case you haven’t heard, Madonna’s record tanked, and there’s a very important lesson to be learned here: No matter who you are, you can’t produce shit. The public will reject you, especially at a time when there are some really incredible musicians that are forging their way to the top through social media alone. And furthermore, I don’t feel sorry for the person charging over $300 per ticket for her concert. Here’s my advice: Don’t get bloated and surround yourself with “yes-men.” You will pay a creative price.
Author: The Dishmaster
Courtney Love v. Dave Grohl on Twitter: Round 3,216
For years Courtney Love has attacked Dave Grohl for just about everything you can imagine. Grohl rarely responds to her ludicrous accusations, but this one in particular knocked it out of the park. According to Love, Grohl slept with her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. I’m curious how she would even know this information given that Frances Bean has a restraining order against her mother, but Courtney Love’s creative attempts to regain media attention continue to amaze me. Also — if Frances Bean did sleep with Dave Grohl — I am super jealous. The man is hot.
Jon Stewart v. CNN: “Segment Titles Make No Sense”
I almost forgot how much I love Jon Stewart, and then a recent clip of him poking fun at CNN’s ridiculousness made me remember. Stewart took issue with CNN’s attempt at branding their news with cheesy segment titles, saying, “most of [CNN’s] segment titles have no bearing on the news within the segment.” He then showed a clip of a segment called “Street Level,” which included news about a bungee-jumping paraplegic. As Stewart rightly pointed out, bungee-jumping off a bridge is most certainly not at the “Street Level.” Watch below.
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Alicia Silvertone Defends Mouth-to-Mouth Feeding Her Son — Heinous
Can someone explain to me when Alicia Silverstone’s brain began to malfunction? If you stay too long in the monkey house you’ll stop smelling the shit. And Silverstone is clearly parked inside that monkey house. In defense of feeding her son in a mouth-to-mouth fashion, Silverstone said, “People have been feeding their kids that way for thousands for years, and I didn’t think I was inventing anything.” Did she seriously use tradition to justify her deplorable behavior? Perhaps she should wipe her ass with leaves too. To call it disturbing would be a drastic understatement.
Quote of the Day — Rick Santorum Suspends Campaign
“Santorum has suspended his campaign! GINGRICH CACKLES FROM HIS MOON BASE. I will miss Santorum’s unique ability to hate gay men while simultaneously fearing liberated vaginas and the women that are attached to them. It’s like, THOSE ARE YOUR ONLY CHOICES, BRO. Nobody wants to be alone on a Saturday night with no one to appreciate your sweater vests and your endearing inability to understand that Jesus wasn’t mentioned in the Constitution.” James, Contributing Editor to The Dishmaster, on Rick Santorum’s decision to suspend his campaign.
Music Spotlight On: Josh Jove Band — Blues at its Best
There’s no formula for what makes a performer uniquely great, but I sure do know it when I see it. And I see it in Josh Jove. He fronts a blues band in Los Angeles, and if my prediction is correct, they’re on their way to massive success. He started playing guitar at age 11, and he’s self-taught. If you see him perform live, you’ll understand just how impressive that last detail is. According to Jove, he practices an “embarrassing amount of hours per day,” which isn’t surprising. He’s damn good. Plus, he’s one of the nicest, most humble guys I know. Have I also mentioned he’s easy on the eyes? Listen below to hear a demo of his blues band cover JJ Cale’s “The Woman That Got Away.” The demo was recorded at Brick & Mortar Recording in Los Angeles.
Melissa Gilbert Injured on DWTS — Great Dance
Apparently Melissa Gilbert’s “best dance so far” resulted in whiplash and a concussion. I suppose greatness always comes at a price. I’m not sure exactly how the injury occurred, but Tom Bergeron announced that she was on her way to the hospital, and Melissa Gilbert later tweeted that she’s “alright.” I don’t know about you, but I’d take a concussion any day if it meant dancing around that floor with Maksim Chmerkovskiy in spandex. He sure is good-looking.
Singer/Songwriter Aaron Barnhart Launches Kickstarter Campaign — Donate Now!
UPDATE: Aaron Barnhart made his goal! He’s currently making his record at Brick & Mortar Recording and will release it to his fans shortly.
UPDATE: Aaaron Barnhart is $770 short of his goal. He has until May 4th to make it happen! Click here to donate.
When I launched The Dishmaster, I had a dream of using it to highlight up-and-coming artists. And when those up-and-coming artists are also personal friends, the process is doubly joyful. Today’s highlight includes the very talented Aaron Barnhart, who is in the process of recording his second album, and he’s using Kickstarter to raise the funds. For those unfamiliar with Kickstarter, here’s how it works: The artist sets a monetary goal and a deadline of when he has to achieve that goal. If he doesn’t raise the funds by the deadline, all of the money is returned to the donors and the artist gets nothing. It’s a great way for underground musicians to raise money for a product they would otherwise never be able to create. And because I have a die-hard love of both music and Aaron Barnhart, it’s time to ask my readers to contribute to making his record happen. He’ll be recording it at Brick & Mortar Studios in Los Angeles, and he has so far raised $2,290. He has until May 4 to reach his $3,500 goal, and you can make it happen. Click the link below to contribute to his new album. Also, click the second link to listen to an interview with the artist himself, and click the third link to listen to a live recording from the new record.
CLICK HERE: CONTRIBUTE TO AARON BARNHART’S RECORD
Quote of the Day — Jennifer Love Hewitt on How She Turns on Men
“I carry McCormick’s Pure Vanilla [in my purse] — the baking kind — and dab it on my neck… Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, ‘You smell amazing!'” Jennifer Love Hewitt on her secret to landing a man. As an aside, with this suggestion and her vajazzling, she must be amazing in bed.
Lisa Lampanelli Calls Dayana Mendoza a “Sp*c” — Bigot?
I’ve had it with Lisa Lampanelli. I’ll give comedians artistic license, but there’s a definitive line in the sand that cannot be crossed, and Lisa Lampanelli crossed it when she called Dayana Mendoza a “spic.” First, if the tables were turned and the word kike was used, I’d be equally appalled. Second, there’s nothing funny about bigoted humor anymore (see Andrew Dice Clay), and picking on people for being “stupid” amounts to the type of bullying that our country is currently rallying to prevent. It’s unacceptable. And though Lisa Lampanelli is an easy target to retaliate against, I will refrain. Listen to the clip below.