Author: The Dishmaster

Rosie’s Goodbye Message — Takes Dig at Oprah’s Staff?

If there’s anything The Dishmaster is good at, it’s reading between the lines. And there’s something that stuck out in Rosie’s goodbye message explaining that there’s no bad blood with Oprah. She took responsibility for the show’s failure, saying that she shouldn’t have tried to copy her old show’s format, and that by the time she switched, it was just too late. Then she complimented Oprah’s staff (whom she had rumored disagreements with), but stuck a dig in there for good measure, saying, “It was a different show than what they were used to doing.” Yikes! Despite her attempts at good-will, I’m convinced there’s bad blood. When shows get canceled, fingers will inevitably be pointed in all directions. I doubt these two television titans will be having a ladies-lunch anytime soon.

Quote of the Day: Howard Stern v. Elle MacPherson: Why He Didn’t Call Her Out

“I personally felt it was stereotyping. You decide how you feel about her. I don’t always sit there and clobber somebody. It just didn’t seem appropriate at that point. She said it. That’s my job to open somebody up so you get to know them. Whether you like them or not is your decision.” Howard Stern, on his Elle MacPherson interview and why he didn’t jump on her when she called him “absolutely Jewish,” implying that he’s being an overprotective parent for asking whether her children mind seeing naked pictures of her on her wall.

Cee Lo Green Chooses Erin Martin — In a Pus*y-Fog?

When Cee Lo Green chose Erin Martin over The Shields Brothers, an online fury erupted accusing Green of making his decision based on Martin’s looks. Though I’d love to agree, I would have sent both those clowns home. Erin Martin made my ears bleed, and The Shields Brothers seem like a washed up 80’s band that you’d see in the background of The Wedding Singer. I think it’s fair to say that Cee Lo will not be winning this season of The Voice.

Quote of the Day: Howard Stern on Leah Remini : “Stop Whining Like a B*tch”

“Stop whining like a bitch. You really think Sharon Osbourne had the clout to get you fired if you were really that great a talent on that show? The network executives want to make money, that’s all they care about. They don’t listen to Sharon Osbourne. Leah Remini’s out of her fu*king mind. The only one that was the ear of the network is Julie Chen because she’s married to Les Moonves. Leah Remini should man up. Stop blaming everybody. We’re entertainers. We’re disposable. When one of us drops dead they stick another one in, and they f*ck you over. Get over it. You got yourself fired. You didn’t light the world on fire.” Howard Stern on Leah Remini’s assertion that Sharon Osbourne got her fired from The Talk, and her Stern-related-tweets about Stern’s interview with Sharon Osbourne.

Cee Lo Green on Adam Levine’s Fragrance: “It Should Smell Jewish” — Anti-Semitic?

I will keep this as short as possible, because the Jewish Dishmaster is exhausted from having to explain why these types of comments are inappropriate. When asked by Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live what Adam Levine’s fragrance should smell like, Green said, “It should smell Jewish.” If Levine was asked about Green’s fragrance, and Levine said, “It should smell black,” a firestorm would erupt. Furthermore, take a moment to define someone by something other than their color or religion. For example, If I were asked the same question about Adam Levine, I would have responded with, “It should smell douchey.”


Oasis’ Noel Gallagher Throws Stuff at Cows — Gigantic Douchebag?

The greatest move Liam Gallagher ever made was kicking his brother, Noel Gallagher, out of his band. Why? Because for so many years Noel managed to fool the public into thinking that Liam is the douchebag. As it turns out, it’s Noel. In a recent interview, Noel discussed his excitement about taking his kids to Ireland, saying, “At my grandma’s [home] in Mayo we’d run around throwing stuff at cows. See, we don’t get cows in Manchester, so if you see one you just throw stuff at them. I’m looking forward to bringing my sons over so they can throw stuff at cows as well.” Wow. My apologies to Liam Gallagher for the many years I thought he was the exclusive douche in Oasis.

Rosie O’Donnell v. Oprah — Is Oprah at Fault for the Canceled Show?

There’s one thing I know for certain about Rosie O’Donnell — she’s not a failure — so the fact that her show failed indicates other variables at play. After reading what’s been deemed as an “unflattering” article in The Daily Beast about what went down, I’m even more convinced of my aforementioned assertion. I will give a brief summary of the most important points in the very long article for my readers-on-the-go.

First, when Rosie’s show debuted it was a critical success. But the ratings didn’t match its praise. That’s likely because it had a daytime format with a nighttime time-slot. Because Rosie didn’t know it would air at night, she was forced to make last minute show-changes. With its waning success, the network asked that she relocate to Chicago, which made it an enormous challenge to book high-powered guests who don’t visit Chicago on their press-tour. Additionally, since OWN flies their talent coach, it made it even more challenging to convince A-listers to make the trip. She was also forced to hire the HARPO staff (i.e. Oprah’s team), and since Rosie is a notorious perfectionist who didn’t make the hires, it’s no surprise that they didn’t gel. When the ratings continued to decline, OWN made suggestions that Rosie enacted, which further tanked the ratings.

In short, I’m confident Rosie would have succeeded with her original format on another network. OWN has been struggling for some time now, and the network put an enormous amount of pressure on Rosie as its saving grace while taking no responsibility for its failure. Rosie had one of the most successful daytime shows in history, and she completely revived The View (though The View will never admit that). She’s a force.

Dancing With the Stars — Jaleel White Makes His Television Comeback

I’ve had a crush on Jaleel White ever since he removed his suspenders on Family Matters. In fact, I’ve snooped around town to ask whether he’s a nice guy, and sources tell me he’s not only nice, he’s also smart, and contrary other child stars, he never blew all that money he made from the show. He shed some light on his lengthy stint as Steve Urkel in a recent Vanity Fair interview, saying, “It’s not overly sophisticated, man. I’m the highest-paid black kid in the history of television, just so you understand that. I was trying to prolong the checks! For all of the people who want to scratch their heads about this . . . we’re probably the second-longest-running African American show in the history of television.” Perhaps the child stars of today’s generation should take notes. Watch his great performance below.

Dancing With the Stars Debuts — Katherine Jenkins Steals the Show

They should just hand Katherine Jenkins the mirror ball trophy now. She’s not only a great dancer, but she also has the personality necessity to win over the audience. She’s adorable, sweet, and beautiful. And since she’s a classical singer — she’s also talented. Can I marry her? I realize this is a game and everyone competes for the prize, but she’s got it in the bag. Watch below.