This clip caused some extensive head-scratching. Does Bill O’Reilly support gay marriage? Or does he just hate the Clinton Administration enough to use this as an opportunity to lambaste their legislative choices? I feel as if I slept for 5000 years and awoke to discover the evolution of Fox News out of its pre-historic bigotry. Luckily, Stephen Colbert took the professorial podium to explain the television tart’s abrupt about-face. Watch below.
Category: Television
Vintage: Wendy Williams Scolds Porsha Stewart: “Your Marriage Will Be Torn Apart”
Either Wendy Williams is psychic, or she knows what everyone else in America knows: reality television will ruin your life. In an interview from last year, Williams scolded Porsha Stewart for her choice to appear on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, calling it the “stupidest thing ever,” and saying “by the end of the show your marriage will be torn apart.” Porsha’s husband, Kordell Stewart, filed for divorce a few days ago. I’m sure Williams wasn’t pleased to be right. Click the link below to see the vintage interview.
The Kardashian Ratings Tank — Is the Brand Damaged?
For years I’ve defended the Kardashians. Sure they don’t have discernible entertainment-related talent, given that they don’t sing, dance, act, host, or do stand-up comedy. But they’ve managed to market themselves to mainstream media on the heels of one pornographic sex tape, which has since been parlayed into clothing stores, fashion lines, fragrances, and a well-paid television show. And that takes talent. In fact, I’d argue that the OJ Simpson trial, coupled with Bruce Jenner’s already existing media-name, is where it all began. With all the effort that went into building their empire, you’d think that the Kardashian Klan would be a little more careful about the brand that made them famous. Unfortunately, their actions as of late suggest otherwise, and their recent ratings-dip prove my point.
Kim Kardashian, arguably the most notorious sibling, has insisted that she’d like to step away from her sex-tape image, yet she continues to publish sexed-up photos on nearly every social media site (see duck face). And though I was willing to let that slide, my disdain boiled over when the sister’s smelled each other’s private parts on ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami.’ When I saw the episode, I was most disappointed in E!, a network with desensitized executives who neglected to pull the plug on a bit that wouldn’t even pass Howard Stern’s smell test. And let’s not forget Kim’s vampire facial, which warrants a lot of words — but I’ll remove my profane-laced tirade and merely call it classless. As for the 72-day marriage, I won’t kick the girl while she’s down, but she made the choice to air every facet of her private life on national television, including walking around town in history’s most gaudy engagement ring, which made me fear for her life.
Kim’s pregnancy was a perfect opportunity to transition the Kardashian brand into something more mature, because all sex-pots have a shelf-life, and she’s approaching her expiration date. Instead, she’s struggling with maternity fashion, and insisting on wearing heels despite her ever-growing bump. I understand she wants to look good, but when you have your own fashion line — it’s best to be on-trend, and baby-bumps don’t go with heels. To be fair, I’ve heard through the Hollywood grape-vine that Kim Kardashian is incredibly kind and professional, and everyone loves to work with her. And in the land of The Dishmaster, that goes a long way. That being said, I will hold you accountable for your poor choices, and they’ve made some.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion — WATCH a Sneak Peek
You have to hand it to Bravo. I haven’t engaged in this much drama since high school, yet the network landed a large amount of adults who are not only willing to engage — but engage on national television. In fact, judging by the sneak peek below, this year’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion will deliver some much-anticipated mud-slinging. Though Adrienne Maloof is noticeably absent, the others have certainly sobered up for the slug-fest.
Watch below.
Kardashian’s Smell Each Others’ Privates — Incest is Best?
The line between reality television and television-trash has been crossed before by the Kardashian Klan, but it’s now been breached beyond return. In fact, I believe that the most recent boundary violation borders on incest. Yeah, you heard me.
In the lowest bid for ratings yet, the Kardashian sisters argue about who has the best-smelling vagina, and each rub a napkin on their lady-parts for Khloe to judge.
This is not my first time being disturbed by their antics, with the sisters constantly touching each other in disturbing ways, but this should have been banned by E!. Watch below. Need I say I’ve had it?
Nicki Minaj Late for Idol — Traffic Scam?
We’ve all been late for work, but I’d like to think that if I was getting paid millions to appear on live television, I might make a point to be punctual. And furthermore, wasn’t it Nicki Minaj who called Mariah Carey “her highness?” This is so wildly inappropriate, I’d like her booted for breach. If she can’t perform her duties, then she deserves to be fired.
Girls Episode 9 Recap — A New Dimension on Lena Dunham’s Disgusting Nudity
Lena Dunham confuses me. What’s her goal? What’s she trying to prove? Why the insatiable urge to show her body in all the most unflattering possible angles? Why gross-out the audience with intolerable habits, such as revealing her bloody Q-tip, or scurrying across the floor with gratuitous crotch shots? Is she testing me? Is she hazing her audience to prove their loyalty?
If the last guess is accurate, allow me to confess I’m at the end of my rope. I’ll hang on a bit longer, but aesthetic is everything, and the longer you torture me with disgusting tactics, the sooner you’ll loose one of your most loyal viewers. And furthermore, if Lena Dunham gets wind of this, allow me to suggest that she’s actually making it worse for over-weight chicks on television. The goal is to suggest that skinny and attractive are not mutually exclusive, so when you attempt to manipulate your already over-weight body into painful-to-see poses, you provide a setback to the original intention.
In short, I’ve had it. Changes must be made, or I’m out.
Celebrity Apprentice Debuts — Bret Michaels Fired — Trump is Nuts
Only Donald Trump would score one his greatest All-Stars of all time and then fire him to prove a point. It’s astounding, especially considering that it’s a bad ratings move. When I first saw that Trump had an all-star cast, I naturally assumed I’d see the return of Piers Morgan, John Rich, and Joan Rivers. Instead, he landed most of his losers and insulted the only guy with drawing power. Furthermore, when an entire task is predicated on a celebrity’s fundraising Rolodex, it makes for boring television. Most of the donating stars don’t show up on television, and the show becomes a waiting game for the final money-count. What made Bret Michaels a badass wasn’t his ability to garner money, it was his intelligence and creative choices on each task. To deprive me of watching him at his best is infuriating. Watch the new-season trailer below.
Visual Effects Industry Dying — No Piece of the Pi
During the 2013 Oscar telecast, the visual effects (VFX) winner for “Life of Pi,” Bill Westenhofer, had his speech interrupted when he began to talk about the pending bankruptcy of the film’s California-based visual effects house, Rhythm & Hues. Mr. Westenhofer was clearly attempting to bring attention to an issue worthy of the nearly 500 protesters (many of them laid-off Rhythm & Hues workers) outside the building that night.
The main source of contention for the visual effects industry lies with foreign tax subsidies and cheap labor that draw jobs overseas. The employees represented their outrage with signs that read “we want a piece of the Pi,” and “respect for VFX.”
Over the course of the week, the protest has spread via Twitter and Facebook. In a display of solidarity, the VFX community has plastered social media pages with blank green screens to show what effects-heavy films would look like if we no longer had VFX artists and designers to create elaborate digital worlds and action sequences; films like “Avatar” and “Life of Pi” were largely shot against green screens, with the backdrops created in post-production. An industry blog, VFXSoldier, has served as a hub for members of the VFX community to vent and gather information.
Dave Rand, an artist from Rhythm and Hues, explains that the aim of the ongoing protests is “awareness… We are trying to enlighten the studios that they are taking their racehorse and beating it to death.”
And cutting Westenhofer short at the Oscars was rubbed some folks the wrong way. “It’s particularly galling that the FX guy, speaking about a protest that was happening outside that directly addresses the financial realities that are starting to damage the FX community in a way they may not be able to fully recover from, was cut short at a ceremony where they actually had a computer-animated character give away an award on live television,” wrote Drew McWeeny, an editor at HitFix.
In a press room interview at the ceremony, the award-winning Westenhofer got the chance to elaborate on his concerns. “The visual effects are definitely in a challenging position right now… I wanted to point out that we aren’t technicians. Visual effects is not just a commodity that’s being done by people pushing buttons. We’re artists, and if we don’t find a way to fix the business model, we start to lose the artistry,” he said.
The protests lodged by the VFX community seem to be timely, if not long overdue. Rhythm & Hues is not the only high-profile FX house to take a hit recently. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Pixomondo, a German company that won an Oscar for “Hugo” last year, is closing its offices in London and Detroit because of financial strain. Moreover, DreamWorks Animation is set to cut about 350 jobs — that’s 15 percent of its staff.
I suspect that changes in how movies are made have progressed so rapidly that the industry as a whole, and Hollywood in particular, have not been able reflect on what it all means for the future –- both short and long term. As for the dysfunctional business model, many suspect that for last 10 years, the biggest FX houses have only wielded 5-6% profit margins. Some observers suggest that a highly competitive bidding process has created a race-to-the-bottom, with FX houses accepting very low bids to do what might become award-winning work. Moreover, the increasingly unpredictable production schedules add to an already existing strain for both the FX houses the VFX community in general.
The VFX community has done a great job in getting heard, and here’s hoping the industry takes note. When a business model demands change, the first step is awareness, and the next step is to induce desperation. If it’s true that studios will be left with nothing but a tigerless green screen, someone will wake up.
Maksim Leaves Dancing With the Stars — Was He Fired?
If there’s anything I know about the entertainment industry, it’s that executives are not kind about letting you out of your contract to do “other work,” especially when it might hurt their ratings. While I know nothing about Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s contract, rumor has it he’s tied up until 2015, which means his option for this season was not exercised. My guess is he’s a pain in the ass and ABC has had it. My theory is especially curious, considering many of the well-known professional dancers are not returning. That being said, Maksim was one of my favorites, and I’m sad to see him go. Here’s hoping he returns someday.