After the Final Rose — Chris Harrison Hits All Time Low

JUAN PABLOIt has always been rumored that if The Bachelors do not cooperate with ABC during their reign, ABC will make it their mission to soil their star. In fact, Jason Mesnick confirmed this in his most recent podcast, in which he admitted to a pressured proposal, along with series creator “Mike Fleiss standing over him waving a check in his face in exchange for such cooperation.” For the first time in history, ABC failed to manipulate its star, whose on-air beating exceeded even my worst expectations.

While I’ve always known that Chris Harrison’s personal paycheck likely justifies his cooperation on this crazy train, I had no idea the lengths he’d go to retaliate. If you missed ABC’s ‘After the Final Rose’ special, Juan Pablo Galavis picked Nikki Ferrell over Clare Crawley, and their post-show interview entailed pummeling questions from Harrison about whether Juan Pablo was in love with Nikki. Though Nikki admitted her love, Juan Pablo did not, and Harrison refused to relent, even declaring Juan Pablo’s love for him. To take it one step further, Harrison said, “I don’t know what I’m looking at,” implying that if their relationship status didn’t involve love, then it was far beyond Harrison’s comprehension. As an aside, Harrison is now single. I’m curious whether he declares love after four months of dating, and I’m even more curious how he’d handle getting sandbagged by a show determined to execute his downfall. As for the mysteriously rude comment Juan Pablo made to Clare, since none of us know it’s content, we can’t judge. Furthermore, it’s curious that Clare was ready to wed this man, and her hindsight judgment is only unfavorable upon rejection. Gee . . . that’s the first time I’ve seen that happen.

I know that Juan Pablo Galavis is a flawed star with issues of his own. I also know he got an unfavorable edit, and that Chris Harrison’s behavior on After the Final Rose was wildly inappropriate. The real lunacy of this show has always been it’s fast-track to love and inauthentic on-air proposals. After years of watching such unnatural courtships, we finally find the guy that simply wants to date the chick he chose. It seems the only person that doesn’t understand what that looks like is Chris Harrison.

#JACKISBACK — Watch the ’24’ Teaser NOW

#JACKISBACK with a vengeance, and Keifer Sutherland came to play. In what’s predicted to be many world-ending adventures, the folks over at FOX smartly realized that if you’ve got a formula that works, bring it back. Watch below to see the Hollywood bad boy up his good guy status.

Lena Dunham Hosts SNL — How’d She do?

Lena Dunham continues to grow on me. As the host of Saturday Night Live, she seemed incredibly at ease, delivering her lines as if she wrote them all herself. If she was nervous, it didn’t show. Watch her opening monologue, followed by my favorite sketch about an interrupting GPS.

Tabloid Gossip — Your Weekly News Rundown

Lindsay Lohan got soaked on The Tonight Show. Vulture

Matthew McConaughey wants another baby. Contact Music

Christian Bale has a second baby on the way. People

Glee’s Harry Shum is engaged. E! Online

Khloe Kardashian has some fashion issues. Radar Online

Shakira’s husband won’t let her film music videos with men. D Listed

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are back together. ABC News

Scarlett Johansson is pregnant. Us Weekly

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber reunited . . . AGAIN. Hollywood Life

Juan Pablo Galavis is widely considered the “worst bachelor ever.” E! Online

Ke$ha left rehab. MTV

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are signing a prenup. SheKnows

Ireland Baldwin is single. WetPaint

Johnny Carson has a sex tape?! TMZ

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard v. Paparazzi Agency: Watch Access Hollywood Video

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have made it their personal mission to protect celebrity children from paparazzi pictures, and they’ve succeeded in stopping many magazines from purchasing those pictures. It’s clear the celebrity couple have done their research about the uphill battle in changing the laws associated with this horrific practice, so they’ve instead waged war on the magazines themselves, including many of the photo-agencies responsible for perpetuating the practice.

The power couple took their battle to Access Hollywood, where they directly confronted two members of a paparazzi agency, AKM-GSI CEO Steve Ginsburg and AKM-GSI reporter Christian Zimmerman. According to Bell, “If the paparazzi were no longer getting paid, they would stop hunting [her] children.”

Watch the video below, and take a moment to consider refraining from purchasing magazines and reading blogs that publish pictures of children. Here at The Dishmaster, I’d like to make it clear that I have never and will never publish any paparazzi pictures, including those of children. As an attorney, I am well aware that the paparazzi have a constitutional right to take those pictures. That being said, they are constitutional vultures.

Mad Men Unveils New Season Advertisement

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Either the new season of Mad Men involves psychedelic drugs, or series creator Matthew Weiner likes colorful things. To learn more about who created this ad for the very famous fictional ad agency, check out this New York Times article.

American Idol Top 12: Keith Urban v. Harry Connick Jr.

If you’re not watching this season of American Idol, you must start. Harry Connick Jr.’s arrival has upped the ante for the other judges, who now give specific, constructive feedback to each contestant. My favorite moment from the Top 12 came from their critique of Jessica Meuse, who apathetically sang ‘White Flag’ by Dido, resulting in a harsh critique from “Hatchet Harry,” who explained that it’s essential to sing in tune. Keith Urban then countered Harry’s critique with his own spin, saying that singing with passion can compensate for pitch problems, followed by Urban’s extemporaneous belt into the microphone to illustrate his point. Watch below.


Jessica Meuse – White Flag – American Idol 13… by IdolxMuzic

Oprah OWNs Lindsay Lohan — “Cut the Bull Sh*t”

There are many addicts who will never beat their addiction, as we’ve sadly come to discover from the deaths of some of our greatest talents. Lindsay Lohan, an admitted drug addict, received an opportunity from Oprah to revitalize her career, and many have predicted it’s a lost cause. Given the multitude of stories about her return to clubs, it’s possible they are right. When you watch the video below, you’ll see Lindsay return to her worst, with a noticeably different appearance that reeks of turmoil. Oprah took some time to lovingly scold the star for her endless disrespect of her staff, but Lohan’s hallow gaze speaks volumes. Watch below.

Lupita Nyong’o’s Speech at the Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon — WATCH NOW

At the seventh annual Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon hosted by Essence magazine, Lupita Nyong’o gave one of the most moving speeches ever uttered. Watch below to see Lupita describe her own personal struggle with her skin color, and society’s standard of beauty.

Jennifer Lawrence Oscar Tumble Caught on Tape — WATCH NOW

In case you missed the very elegant Jennifer’s Lawrence’s funny tumble at the Oscars, watch below. She took it in stride — or not.