After the Final Rose — Chris Harrison Hits All Time Low

JUAN PABLOIt has always been rumored that if The Bachelors do not cooperate with ABC during their reign, ABC will make it their mission to soil their star. In fact, Jason Mesnick confirmed this in his most recent podcast, in which he admitted to a pressured proposal, along with series creator “Mike Fleiss standing over him waving a check in his face in exchange for such cooperation.” For the first time in history, ABC failed to manipulate its star, whose on-air beating exceeded even my worst expectations.

While I’ve always known that Chris Harrison’s personal paycheck likely justifies his cooperation on this crazy train, I had no idea the lengths he’d go to retaliate. If you missed ABC’s ‘After the Final Rose’ special, Juan Pablo Galavis picked Nikki Ferrell over Clare Crawley, and their post-show interview entailed pummeling questions from Harrison about whether Juan Pablo was in love with Nikki. Though Nikki admitted her love, Juan Pablo did not, and Harrison refused to relent, even declaring Juan Pablo’s love for him. To take it one step further, Harrison said, “I don’t know what I’m looking at,” implying that if their relationship status didn’t involve love, then it was far beyond Harrison’s comprehension. As an aside, Harrison is now single. I’m curious whether he declares love after four months of dating, and I’m even more curious how he’d handle getting sandbagged by a show determined to execute his downfall. As for the mysteriously rude comment Juan Pablo made to Clare, since none of us know it’s content, we can’t judge. Furthermore, it’s curious that Clare was ready to wed this man, and her hindsight judgment is only unfavorable upon rejection. Gee . . . that’s the first time I’ve seen that happen.

I know that Juan Pablo Galavis is a flawed star with issues of his own. I also know he got an unfavorable edit, and that Chris Harrison’s behavior on After the Final Rose was wildly inappropriate. The real lunacy of this show has always been it’s fast-track to love and inauthentic on-air proposals. After years of watching such unnatural courtships, we finally find the guy that simply wants to date the chick he chose. It seems the only person that doesn’t understand what that looks like is Chris Harrison.

Andi Dorfman Dumps Juan Pablo — Rudest Bachelorette Ever

Despite popular belief, there is a classy way to dump someone, and listing your suitor’s flaws isn’t one of them. The Bachelor’s Juan Pablo certainly has some issues, but Andi Dorfman’s are far superior. In case you missed last night’s episode, Dorfman told Juan Pablo that she felt certain he was not “the one” after their fantasy suite and then curtly reviewed everything he did wrong, along with pointing out that he should eliminate “it’s okay,” from his vocabulary because, “It’s annoying.” It’s clear Juan Pablo cannot give Andi Dorfman what she needs in a relationship, but that’s more about incompatibility than fault. Dorfman is a successful, Jewish lawyer and Juan Pablo is a Venezuelan, Catholic, retired soccer player. If she thought this would work this long in the process, she needs a little more self-awareness. Relationships tend to thrive when people actually have things in common. And that’s no one’s fault.

Casey S. Leaves The Bachelor — Still Loves Ex-Boyfriend

This scene on Monday’s episode of The Bachelor broke my heart. I know the immense pain of unrequited love, and the amount of effort it takes to stop making excuses and put aside the thoughts of “what could have been.” I also know what it’s like to be led on into thinking things will change despite a gut instinct that suggests otherwise. So when Casey S. left The Bachelor after her ex-boyfriend revealed to Chris Harrison that she is still in love with him, my heart broke for her. She clearly went on the show in an attempt to move on, and it failed. When she revealed her feelings to Ben Flajnik, he predictably made it all about himself and had absolutely no sympathy for a girl that was clearly in a tremendous amount of pain. Translation? — He’s a heartless, selfish prick and the worst bachelor in history. At least Chris Harrison hugged her.

The Bachelor Producers Are Blood Sucking Maggots

If you’re not watching The Bachelor this season, allow me to explain the title of this post. There’s a girl on the show whose fiance died in an airplane crash just days before she found out she was pregnant. Her fiance was a NASCAR driver, and on next week’s episode, Brad Womack takes her to a race track. Can you guess why? Well, because the producers want good television, and they know that if they capitalize on this poor girl’s back-story, she’ll probably cry for the entire date.  And tears are ratings gold! It isn’t shocking that the producers would pull such a trick, especially considering the many former cast members that have complained. When Jerry O’Connell’s brother (Charlie O’Connell) was on the show, the producers tried to get his parents drunk and kept yelling at them for being “boring.” Chris Harrison has consistently defended the producers of his cash-cow-show, and this date is no exception.  When asked about it, he said it was “therapeutic.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s why you guys did it . . . for therapy.