Quote of the Day — Joy Behar on Marriage

“You don’t really know the person until you get divorced.” Joy Behar to Shannon Doherty, in response to Shannon’s assertion that the key to a successful marriage is to “know the person” you’re marrying.

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review — High Drama

  • Heidi Klum filed for divorce from Seal. So sad. People
  • Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag still don’t speak. Us Magazine
  • Ashley Olsen and Jared Leto might be dating. NY Daily News
  • Hilary Duff tweeted the first picture of her son. Pop Crunch
  • Kim Kardashian might be dating Kanye West. The Superficial
  • Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz are back on. Celebuzz
  • Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon are cousins. Zap2It
  • Bruce Willis is a dad to a fourth daughter. Just Jared
  • Alec Baldwin blasted the paparazzi for crashing his girlfriend’s yoga class. OTRC
  • Bristol Palin’s ex impregnator, Levi Johnson, knocked up another girl.  Contact Music
  • Carnie Wilson underwent her second weight loss surgery. CNN
  • Miranda Lambert isn’t happy with Ashton Kutcher. CBS News
  • Jim Carrey might be getting married again. DListed
  • Adam Levine and Anne V. broke up. Mtv
  • Kris Humphries refused Kim Kardashian’s 7 million dollar settlement offer. Reality Tea
  • Nicole Scherzinger says she’s an eight out of ten. Daily Telegraph

 

 

 

 

Quote of the Day — CurrentTV Responds to Keith Olbermann’s Lawsuit

“As the old adage says: ‘When the law is on your side, you argue the law. When the facts are on your side, you argue the facts. When neither the law nor the facts are on your side, you pound the table.’ It is well established that over his professional career Mr. Olbermann has specialized in pounding the table.” Laura Nelson, a CurrentTV spokeswoman, on Keith Olbermann’s lawsuit against Al Gore’s network following his termination.

Music Spotlight On: Alabama Shakes

Finding a new band to love is akin to discovering a twenty dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans. I didn’t know it was there, but I sure am glad to have it. Today’s discovery is Alabama Shakes. They originated from Athens, Alabama, and their members include: Brittany Howard (lead vocals), Heath Fogg (guitar), Zac Cockrell (bass), and Steve Johnson (drums). Judging from their media attention, I’m late in the game. Their album debuts April 8, 2012, and you can get a sneak peak here. And if that’s not enough, they’re performing on Letterman on April 12. Watch below to see their video for “Hold On.”

Quote of the Day — Jeremy Renner Isn’t Gay — Also, He’s Private

“I want my personal life to be personal, and it’s not f—ing true. And I don’t care if you’re talking about things that are true, you’re still talking about my personal life. How about I go peek in your window, take what underwear you wore last night, whose husband you were f—ing, and shove that in the megaphone throughout your neighborhood? How does that feel?” Jeremy Renner, on the rumors that he’s gay and his opposition to tabloid journalism exposing his personal life.

 
 
 

Kris Humphries Strips for Magazine Shoot — GROSS!

Though I usually do not take the time to insult people on The Dishmaster, today I will make an exception for Kris Humphries, who has quite possibly accomplished the least sexy attempt at sexy in the history of photography. What on earth was he thinking? Allow me to explain the lack of sexy. First, women aren’t as visual as men, so unless he’s trying to appeal to gay men, it’s pointless to take the Anthony Weiner route. Second, for those that know me personally, you’re aware of my bulge-predictor tactics, which I won’t elaborate on for fear that I will move this blog to R-Rated territory. Let’s just say that what some women might consider an asset, I’d consider a big “NO THANK YOU.” And lastly, why is he wearing a Halloween mask? When I play bedroom-dress-up, I want my man to wear a police uniform and throw me around. I don’t want him wearing face-paint and little underwear. Kim Kardashian created a monster.

The Fray Sing the National Anthem — A for Effort

Why would anyone in their right mind agree to sing the National Anthem? No matter who the singer or what their talent, they inevitably get eaten alive by the press. Then — there’s The Fray, who not only agreed to sing it, but they attempted to change things up with a very odd, acoustic version of the song. Sure it was bad, but I give them a lot of credit for trying something new. Plus, all press is good press, right? Good job, guys.

Penn Jillette v. Clay Aiken — Does Art Beat Money?

Two weeks ago on Celebrity Apprentice, Penn Jillette had a fight with Clay Aiken about a fundraising task which involved Jillette’s very well-known Vegas friends and performers, Blue Man Group. In short, Blue Man Group agreed to donate eight thousand dollars, but they delivered it by popping a money-filled-balloon at the end of their performance, which resulted in some of the money being lost to random people on the street. Aiken was furious at the lost money, and he basically called Jillette ridiculous for the entire idea. After reading Jillette’s incredibly moving and well-written article on the Huffington Post about what happened, I’m officially in love with him. He described his love of art as more powerful than his love of money, and he detailed his struggle in explaining that to Trump and Aiken, saying, “Trying to explain to Donald Trump that beauty and art can be more important than money is like trying to explain to Donald Trump that beauty and art can be more important than money.” He also said that this was the “episode where Donald Trump understood that he didn’t understand me, and feeling misunderstood by Donald Trump and Clay Aiken is its own kind of joy.” Wow. Here’s hoping I can interview Penn Jillette one day.

Quote of the Day — Penn Jillette — Why’d He Do Celebrity Apprentice?

“It turns out that if you put a camera in front of anybody, not just a narcissistic amoral celebrity, but actually a good human being, if you put a camera on them for four, five, six hours and tell them to simply be careful what they say, not even in any particular direction but just weigh each word before you say it, and if you do that for like a bunch of hours without giving that person a break, that person ends up with their willpower depleted. They lose the same kind of governing that people get when they’re really drunk. It’s fascinating to watch people who are being careful about what they say and trying to come off very well lose that governing.” Penn Jillette on his choice to do Celebrity Apprentice, and what he learned about reality television and human nature from the experience.

The Voice: Christina Sends Home Moses Stone — Big Mistake

I had the pleasure of attending a live taping of The Voice tonight, and it’s now unequivocally clear that this show won’t survive without a major overhaul. Though it has an intriguing gimmick, there’s some glaring issues that need to be addressed. First, there’s absolutely no emotional connection with the contestants. Sure American Idol gets attacked for pulling on America’s heartstrings with cheesy video packages, but those packages serve an important purpose. They make you root for a contestant, and you become invested in that contestant’s success. With The Voice, I found myself struggling to remember the contestants for anything other than what they wore on a previous show. Second, the judges are choosing people based on who is most similar to their own style. For example, Christina Aguilera predictably chose Ashley De La Rosa, because Ashley’s performance is the most similar to the way Christina performs. She’s not an inside A&R person like Simon Cowell, and if she was, she’d know right away that Moses has more potential for a sustainable career in the industry. And lastly, whoever styles the contestants needs to make some serious changes. These kids don’t look like stars. And they should. Don’t believe my criticism? Then just look to the Season 1 winner, Javier Colon, who has yet to hit it big. If they can’t make their winner a star, then they lose all credibility.