Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow Present Oscar — Very Funny

Robert Downey Jr. was another one of my favorite Oscar presenters. To be fair, I’m in love with him, so I’m slightly biased. In fact, I’m convinced that in another life — we’d live happily ever after. After all, he likes annoying, Jewish women (see Sarah Jessica Parker). Did I mention that Gwyneth Paltrow deserves the Best Dressed award? Watch the video below.

Sandra Bullock Speaks German Mandarin at the Oscars — Who Knew?

Howard Stern recently met Sandra Bullock at Jimmy Kimmel’s party in Los Angeles, and he quoted Paul McCartney, saying, Jesse James “took [his] lucky break and broke it in two.” He said that because of how much he loved Bullock and how undeserving and lucky Jesse James was to have landed her in the first place, let alone letting her go. I’m posting her very funny Oscar bit below to prove Stern’s point. She sure is beautiful and funny. In fact, I’d like to marry her. I wonder if she’s willing.

Chris Rock Presents Best Animated Film — Funniest Presenter of the Night

Comedians often lose their edge when they become famous. They can no longer relate to the masses, and their comedy suffers as a result. But not Chris Rock. He’s just as relatable as ever, and he proved it while presenting at the 2012 Oscars. Watch below to see him poke fun at the category he presented.

Jim Rash Mocks Angelina Jolie’s Leg During Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar Acceptance Speech

The verdict is in, and Jim Rash had the best joke at the Oscars. While accepting the award for Best Adapted Screenplay for his work on The Descendants, Rash imitated Angelina Jolie’s moderately ridiculous pose by over-extending his own leg. Seriously though — even Jennifer Lopez’s green Versace dress didn’t draw this much attention — and it’s not because Jolie’s dress was risqué. It’s because it looked as though Jolie deliberately stuck her leg out of the dress for shock value. It didn’t work. Watch the video below.

Woody Allen Wins Best Original Screenplay Oscar — Where Was He?

For a guy with over twenty Oscar nominations, you’d think Woody Allen would make a point to show up to the ceremony more than once in his life. So what gives? Where in the world is Woody Allen, and why can’t he throw on a tux for the night? For years, rumors circulated that Allen skipped the Oscars because he plays clarinet with his New York jazz band every Monday, and he refuses to miss a gig. But after doing further research, it appears that Allen is just anti-awards shows, saying, “The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don’t.” So there’s the answer — like it or not. Watch below to see the only time Woody Allen showed up — and it was to celebrate New York — not himself.

Sacha Baron Cohen Pours Kim Jong Il’s Ashes on Ryan Seacrest

Though I seem to be the only person on the planet that doesn’t understand the humor behind Sacha Baron Cohen’s characters, I must confess that his red carpet prank made me laugh. He showed up to the Oscars in full “Dictator” character, and then poured an urn full of ashes over Ryan Seacrest’s head, saying, “When someone asks you what you are wearing, tell them Kim Jong Il.” I have to give Oscar producer Brian Grazer a lot of credit for giving “The Dictator” a ticket to the ceremony. After all, all these red carpet clowns are playing some kind of character, his is just the funniest. Watch below.

Nicole Richie Covers Ocean Drive Magazine — Unrecognizable

There’s a girl on the cover of Ocean Drive Magazine who claims to be Nicole Richie, but I’m not so sure. In fact, the image is so heavily airbrushed it looks like a cartoon character. I certainly love Nicole Richie, and I think she’s beautiful. I’m just wondering where she is.

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review — Know the Crazy

 

  • Chris Brown and Rihanna are collaborating. TV Guide
  •  X Factor’s Rachel Crow landed a lucrative deal. Just Jared
  • Jessica Biel showed off her engagement ring. New York Daily News
  • Kourtney Kardashian revealed the sex of her baby. ICYDK
  • Glee stars Cory Montieth and Lea Michele might be dating. Wonderwall
  • Drew Barrymore might be pregnant. USA Today
  • Zac Efron brought a condom to the Lorax premiere. The Superficial
  • Denise Richards and Richie Sambora were spotted on a date. Daily Mail
  • Kate Upton is naked . . . and hot. Egotastic

 

Quote of the Day — Nicole Richie Gives Advice to Jessica Simpson

“I offered for her to take my kids up until she has hers. That didn’t really work, but the offer still stands because she hasn’t had her kid yet.” Nicole Richie, on whether she gave her Fashion Star costar, Jessica Simpson, any parenting advice.

Quote of the Day — Reese Witherspoon on Ryan Phillipe Divorce

“That period in my life was a challenge but you feel so much stronger once you pick up the pieces and make a new world for yourself. You rethink a lot of things and you develop a much sharper sense of what is going to make you happy. Many people go through crossroads in their lives, times where everything falls apart and you don’t know what to do next. But you learn so much and it makes decisions easier going forward.” Reese Witherspoon on healing from divorce