HBO’s Big Little Lies Finale — Full Review (No Spoilers)


While laying beside her husband and William Morris big-wig agent Jim Toth, Reese Witherspoon complained about the lack of substantial roles for women in Hollywood, and her husband pushed her to make a change. He reminded her that she loves to read, and she has a production company, and she’s perfectly capable of carving her own path. And that she did. What began with Wild, soon became Gone Girl and now . . . Big Little Lies — her best yet.

Big Little Lies proves something very powerful. Women are perfectly capable of leading the pack, and they can do it sans testosterone. In fact, though the men in the story have a minor contribution, they are mere pawns for their female players. Those players include, Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Laura Dern, Shailene Woodley, and Zoe Saldana. Nicole plays Celeste, a victim of abuse at the hands of her husband, with whom she can’t seem to leave. Of all the performances, hers is by far the most nuanced, proving once again why Kidman deserves endless praise and also why movie actors should flee to television. Cinema isn’t the same, and this is the role of a lifetime. Reese Witherspoon plays Madeline, an all-too-perfect type A divorcee whose new husband found happiness with her zen-like opposite, and even a sweet new spouse and child of her own can’t contain the scorn. Laura Dern is at her best as Renata. Though Dern has less scenes, she steals them. Her mamma-bear insanity is deliciously alarming. Shailene plays Jane, and I can only imagine that it’s a play on her plain Jane performance. While her dull demeanor was likely intentional, I couldn’t help but think she was punching above her weight beside these powerhouses. Zoe Saldana was also understated as Bonnie, but unlike Shailene, she played well inside her lane.

With a beautiful backdrop of Monterey, captivating characters, and a murder mystery, we’ve got a deeply addictive masterpiece. This could have easily veered into Bad Moms territory and made us say #WhitePeopleProblems, but instead–we identify with these deeply flawed women whose quest for perfection is so penetrable. With each episode, we learn more about their hidden lives, and since I’d like you to watch it, I’ll withhold more details, except to say — that was one hell of a finale.

Reese Witherspoon’s Tirade Caught on Tape — Hilarious!!

Reese Witherspoon might be the only celebrity in history that should be grateful that her bad behavior was caught on tape. What looked awful in print, looks hilarious on video. Watch below to see America’s A-lister remind the police officer of her citizenship . . . over and over again.

Reese Witherspoon Addresses Drunken Tirade — WATCH NOW

I paid close attention to Reese Witherspoon’s mea culpa, and my forgiveness is on the fence. She’s in a tough position. If she blames her bad behavior on being wasted, then it’s less understandable that she and her husband felt fine to drive. So she’s either wasted and not a bitch, or she was sober enough to feel fine to drive, and acted like a bitch because that’s her true personality. Since this is her first slip-up though, I’m guessing she wont’ be in the dog house for long.

Reese Witherspoon & Husband Arrested — The End of an Era

Reese WitherspoonWell, folks, it’s the end of a squeaky clean era for the untouchable actress, who has managed to fly through most media storms unscathed. According to multiple sources, Witherspoon’s husband was arrested on suspicion of a DUI after allegedly driving in the wrong lane, and Witherspoon allegedly ignored cops’ instructions to stay inside her vehicle which subsequently led to arrest for disorderly conduct.  When I first read this headline I assumed this was paparazzi driven, given my hatred for DUIs and my love for the actress. This sure is disappointing.

Quote of the Day — Reese Witherspoon on Ryan Phillipe Divorce

“That period in my life was a challenge but you feel so much stronger once you pick up the pieces and make a new world for yourself. You rethink a lot of things and you develop a much sharper sense of what is going to make you happy. Many people go through crossroads in their lives, times where everything falls apart and you don’t know what to do next. But you learn so much and it makes decisions easier going forward.” Reese Witherspoon on healing from divorce


Movie Review: ‘This Means War’

If you’re making a romantic comedy with a sub-plot, the sub-plot should make sense. Remember True Lies? That’s what made it so great. In This Means War, the only thing I know about the main characters’ profession is that they are CIA agents trying not to get killed by a mysterious man with an accent. The romance begins when they both meet the same woman, and they decide to compete for her affection. It gets complicated when they use their CIA resources to trace each others’ dates, and it gets funny when they use those resources to impress her with the contrived commonalities they discovered by researching her life at the CIA. It’s certainly entertaining, but the impressive concept failed in its execution. That being said, it’s good enough to see. After all, who doesn’t want to stare at Chris Pine’s beautiful blue eyes for an entire movie? You cannot go wrong.
Overall Rating: 3/5 Dishes


Reese Witherspoon & Taylor Swift Have Lunch — Jake Gyllenhaal’s Nightmare?

If two of my exes went to lunch together, I imagine the conversation would go something like this: “Isn’t The Dishmaster really great in bed? Wow, I really did miss out on an amazing thing. Perhaps we should call her right now and beg for her to take us back.” Seriously though — the idea of two people I dated sitting in a room together is quite possibly my version of hell. I wonder how Jake Gyllenhaal felt about it. According to Us Weekly, Reese Witherspoon and Taylor Swift shared a lunch, and the conversation included a discussion on how self-absorbed Jake can be. I can’t say I believe the story, though. Did someone wearing a wire? Unless a very nosy individual at the neighboring table blabbed to Us Weekly, I can’t imagine that this is true. Having said that, I’m certain Jake lost sleep just thinking about it.

Blake Lively Still Denies Nude Photos Are Her — Best Move Ever

There’s a nude photo scandal going on with Blake Lively, and her people insist that the photos are not her. I’ve seen these photos, and it’s difficult to believe her claim. Having said that, I’d like to give a major congratulations to Blake Lively’s representatives for capitalizing on the law of denial. As long as you insist the pictures are doctored, the public will be left with doubt, no matter how convincing the photographs. This is a method that other actors should soon adopt, Vanessa Hudgens in particular. Remember when Hudgens got her phone hacked, and her people confirmed their validity, followed by stern instructions to remove them because she was under eighteen at the time? I’d also like to note that I’ve learned many things from this nude photo scandal. Here’s the most important lesson, which Reese Witherspoon just reiterated: when taking naked pictures and sending them to a boy, make sure to keep my head out of the picture. That way I can always deny it’s my body, and something tells me that it won’t make much of a difference to him anyhow.

Reese Witherspoon Insults Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian at MTV Movie Awards

Either Reese Witherspoon was drunk at the MTV Movie Awards, or she had someone else write her material. Her speech was great, but it certainly seemed out of character. She said “like” about fifty times, and she clearly insulted Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, saying, “it’s possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show.” She also had a very good point about texting naked pictures, advising young girls everywhere to “hide their face.” Perhaps Blake Lively should take notes. Personally, I refrain from sending naked pictures altogether. No matter what the angle, my ass just looks to damn big. Watch Reese’s speech below.
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Movie Review: ‘Water For Elephants’

There are times when I have absolutely no constructive criticism for a movie gone awry. This is one of those cases. To put it simply, the movie is boring. Jacob Jankowski plays a veterinary school student whose final exam is interrupted by the news of his parents death. Lost and sad, he randomly boards a train out of town. As it turns out, he hopped a circus train, and he swings a job shoveling manure for the circus until the head trainer, August (Christoph Waltz), promotes him to be the veterinarian. While tending to the animals, he sees Marlena (Reese Witherspoon) and immediately falls in love. Marlena returns his affection, but since she’s married to August, and August is a tyrant, they can’t be together. That’s the story in a nutshell. I couldn’t figure out if this movie was supposed to focus on the circus or the love story. If it was meant to focus on the circus, then it’s done poorly. There’s not nearly enough content about the show itself to stay engaged or entertained. Sure, it’s interesting to see someone acting like a soulless prick while trying to keep a business afloat, but there has to be more than that to keep a film afloat. And if the film is meant to be a love story, I’d recommend that the director take a day watching and re-watching The Notebook, because this feels like a poor man’s version of that. Additionally, Rob Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon have zero chemistry.