Critics are claiming that Eminem’s Love the Way You Lie video, featuring Rihanna, trivializes domestic violence. It appears that I am forced to tediously explain the point of the video for so many of the neanderthals out there that can’t rub two brain cells together (hear that Perez Hilton?). Bear with me. The video isn’t about condoning domestic violence, it’s about a woman trapped in an abusive relationship that can’t find a way out. So yes, there are obviously moments where she kisses her abuser in the video, because that’s the stuff that happens in real life. Did you expect Megan Fox to get slapped only once in the video, and then immediately break-up with Dominic Monaghan? Yeah, that’s realistic. I’ll send Eminem a letter and ask that he sing about rainbows next time. Watch below.
Curvy Actresses — Who Are They?
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I read somewhere that Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester (on the right) is “curvy,” and I couldn’t help but laugh. I think the definition of “curvy” has morphed into something along the lines of, “a person that doesn’t look l like they are going to fall over and die at any moment due to anorexia.” So yes, Leighton Meester certainly looks like she eats actual food. So I’ve decided to post a list of curvy actresses in an effort to clarify what this term actually means. I’m not sure when it became fashionable in Hollywood to have a little boy’s body, so I hope this post will draw attention to the bodacious beauties. Enjoy!
Eva Mendes
Jennifer Lopez
Scarlett Johansson
Salma Hayek
Christina Hendricks
America Ferrera
Sara Ramirez
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Eddie Cibrian Accuses Ex-Wife of “Stooping” — I’m Confused
Rumors recently circulated that Eddie Cibrian cheated on LeAnn Rimes with his ex-wife, and Cibrian blames his ex as the source of the rumors. He released a statement saying, “once again my ex has stooped to a new low attempting to sabotage my beautiful relationship with LeAnn.” Wow, that’s really interesting. It appears that Eddie Cibrian and I have a different dictionary, because here’s my definition of “stooping”: Stooping: “when a woman has an affair with a married man with children, and then rubs the affair in his wife’s face by posting pictures of them kissing on twitter.” Perhaps Cibrian will give me his dictionary though — that way whenever my conscience plagues me, I can just read it to make myself feel better.
Jennifer Aniston Poses as Barbra Streisand — And She’s Not Naked!
Because I always pick on Jennifer Aniston for her incessant need to pose naked, I’ve decided that it’s only fair to give her credit when she does something right. Aniston posed as Barbra Streisand for Harper’s Bazaar, and the similarities are striking. Who says that a Goy can’t play Jew? Finally, a little creativity in a photo-shoot, which does not involve laying on the sand naked, with nothing on but a blanket. I would also like to give Aniston credit for choosing Barbra Streisand to copy, instead of the over-used Marilyn Monroe. Kudos for a job well done! To see the pictures, click here.
Whoopi Goldberg Might be Too Good for The View
I watch The View daily, and yesterday’s show painfully reminded me that it might be time for Whoopi to leave. When Bachelor Jake Pavelka told her he was “star-struck” by her, she looked very unimpressed — and rightfully so. Bachelor Jake is a giant douche, and I am sure Whoopi was fantasizing about polishing her Oscar while interviewing him. She often discusses how she isn’t part of “social media” and how she avoids many of the television shows that are sadly part of our current pop-culture. Although that’s precisely why I love her perspective, it also makes her slightly beyond the chat-fest. When I saw the Real Housewives of DC on the show, I shed a little tear for the good old days of cinema and television, and I thought of Ghost and Sister Act. I imagine Whoopi did too.
Has Dancing With the Stars Helped Anyone’s Career?
Washed-up celebrities are always scratching at ABC’s door for a spot on Dancing With the Stars, in hopes that the insane ratings will give them a much needed career boost. But reality shows very rarely propel a has-been back into the spotlight. And for those looking for their first break in the industry, it’s almost impossible to start in reality television and move to a scripted show. So have any of the contestants benefited from the exposure? I’ve done my research, and the results are pretty pathetic. Below is a list that I’ve compiled of the only contestants on DWTS who have managed to gain success once the show ended. I would post every person whose career went nowhere, but here at The Dishmaster I try to avoid negativity. Read below.
Brooke Burke is a personal favorite. She took over from Samantha Harris as co-host of DWTS, and I think she’s doing a great job.
Gilles Marini was the best choice in DWTS history. He was an unknown actor that appeared in the first Sex and the City film, and the show helped him gain further attention. No word yet on whether he’s been able to land acting gigs because of it, but he sure is nice to look at.
This Saved By the Bell alum gained hosting success after the show. Mario Lopez is currently hosting Extra, and has filled in for Larry King on CNN in the past. No return to acting though.
Stacy Keibler went from wrestler, to dancer, to “actress.” She appeared on the short-lived series, What About Brian, and she currently has another TV series in the works. We’ll see how it goes.
Many people think that Hannah Montana became a success because of Miley Cyrus. The truth is, the show didn’t become a smash hit until Billy Ray Cyrus discussed it while appearing on DWTS. So yes — you can blame Billy Ray Cyrus for all things Miley.
I already regret adding Chad Ochocinco to this list, but I’m too lazy to delete him. He has one of those terrible VH1 reality dating shows. I guess it’s better than nothing?
Chuck Wicks is a country music singer that surfaced on the pop culture radar after appearing on the show. He also dated his dancing partner, Julianne Hough, which certainly helped. Lucky for him, he was out for more radio play and album sales, and not an acting career.
Nicole Scherzinger already had success with the Pussycat Dolls when she appeared on DWTS. She’s rumored to be the new judge for the UK ‘X-Factor,’ which may or may not be a step up from her singing group.
I put Erin Andrews on this list because I respect that she wanted to be known for something positive, instead of the terrible stalker-incident. Good for her! Plus, she has a great personality.
Melissa Rycroft might be the only person in history that has turned a bad-breakup into an incredible career boost. She went from The Bachelor, to DWTS, to television host for Entertainment Tonight. That’s quite the corporate ladder.
John O’Hurley was a favorite of mine from Seinfeld. He also did a great job on DWTS, and was robbed of the trophy. He now hosts Family Feud, which is quite possibly the best job on the planet. Little hours, high pay.
Sam Wasson Insults ‘Knight & Day’ — I Strongly Disagree
Maureen Dowd of the New York Times, interviewed Sam Wasson, the writer of Fifth Avenue, 5 a.m., the New York Times bestseller that details the making of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. They discussed the death of the romantic comedy, and though they justifiably slayed The Bounty Hunter, they also cited Knight and Day as a creative failure. Many of my readers know my love for Knight and Day. The filmed failed at the box office, which was due to the horrible marketing campaign, instead of the quality. I liken it to Charade, though the story was admittedly weaker. But in the creatively inept Hollywood, aren’t romantic comedies just a scapegoat? Almost every drama I see is just as bad, and sadly, most of them are painful remakes. So perhaps Dowd and Wasson should take a step back and assess the real problem — which is that Hollywood’s status as a members-only club is worse than ever, with absolutely no effort to nurture new talent. Plus, don’t insult Knight and Day.
Celebrity Couples — Who Started the Combined-Name Monikers?
Almost every celebrity magazine I read refers to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as “Brangelina.” So it got me thinking — where did these combination nicknames come from and who can I send a bouquet of flowers? The unlikely culprit is Dogma director Kevin Smith. It all started with a little couple known as “Bennifer.” Kevin Smith directed Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck in the box office flop, Jersey Girl, and he used the nickname in reference to his terrible time with the couple. He said in an interview that he’s “learned absolutely nothing [in his career], except to never work with ‘Bennifer’ again.” He later described it as his “worst on-set experience.” To be fair, Smith isn’t the only person to blame. It was Chris Rock who turned his comment into the monster that it became. While hosting the Mtv Movie Awards, Rock used the nickname again, and the subsequent snowball effect couldn’t be stopped. So there you have it. And as a tribute to the best celebrity-couple nicknames of all time, I’ve posted a list below. Enjoy.
- TomKat (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes)
- Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)
- Billary (Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton)
- Desilu (Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz)
- Filliam H. Muffman (Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy — Thanks to Stephen Colbert)
- Bennifer 2.0 (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner)
Clooney’s Girlfriend Does an Interview — Talks About Clooney
George Clooney’s girlfriend is the cover-girl for the Italian Vanity Fair and not surprisingly, the topic is Clooney. The love he has for her is “overwhelming,” says Elisabetta Canalis, and he has put the “color back into [her] life.” Aside from the vomitable and seemingly contrived cheesiness, I can’t quite figure out why she made it on the cover. Oh wait — yes I can — she’s dating Clooney. I’m actually on the fence about using your man’s fame to launch your own career. After all, connections make the world go round in almost any business. But when you discuss your A-list boyfriend on a magazine cover, instead of auditioning for roles, the line is crossed. Canalis is an Italian model and actress, and has yet to make a break in the United States. So dating Clooney certainly helps get her foot in the door. It’s therefore unnecessary to prostitute her relationship in interviews. I’d like to also note that I might be a jealous bitch, and I don’t appreciate her naively thinking that Clooney won’t leave her for me. It’s only a matter of time.
Ryan Murphy Insults Modern Family: “The Men Don’t Kiss”
Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee, recently spoke out against the hit show Modern Family, saying that, it’s “ridiculous” that the gay couple doesn’t kiss. This is not the first time that Murphy has vocalized his opinion about gay characters on television. He also spoke out against Ramin Satoodeh, the writer for Newsweek, when Satoodeh claimed that gay actors can’t play straight. At the time, Murphy said that he deliberately cast Jonathan Groff as Lea Michele’s love interest in Glee, fully aware that Groff is an out-and-proud homosexual. So is Murphy just a complainer, or is he a gay-rights champion? I vote the latter. One of my favorite shows of all-time is Showtime’s Queer as Folk, which not only involved straight male actors kissing other men on screen, but full-on sexcapading. I realize Modern Family is network television, so the sexcapades must be kept to a minimum, but if your gonna play gay, then be prepared to play gay.