The Dishmaster

While watching ‘The City,’ I started to wonder who Olivia Palermo really is, and why she gets such a flattering term attached to her credentials.  On second thought — is the word “socialite” really flattering?  There is a strange thing that happens with the English language.  You take two words that mean the exact same thing, but produce completely different emotions.  To me, “trust fund baby” refers to someone that has done absolutely nothing with their life except live off daddy’s money.  So what is a socialite?  Well, I think a socialite is someone that has done absolutely nothing with their life except live off daddy’s money.  Sound similar?  Palermo’s father is a New England real estate developer, and she grew up on the Upper East Side.  She started to get photographed on the New York social scene around the age of 20, and she made the cover of New York Magazine amidst a website scandal, when socialiterank.com, released a fake letter that was said to be written by Palermo, where she pathetically pleaded for all the New York socialites to accept her.  Palermo’s father hired a top firm and sued the website, and it was subsequently shut down.  She then said, “I may be a young girl.  But behind every young girl is a powerful father.”  So this brings me back to my original question.  Is this really something to be proud of?  Believe it or not, there are a lot of people that are so plagued by their parents success, they spend their entire life trying to top it.  Not “socialites” though.  For some reason they stand tall.  I will at least give Palermo major credit for her style.  She can sure pick out a dress.

When I first read that Mtv is resurrecting Beavis and Butt-head, I kept spontaneously saying “I need TP for my bumhole,” and prayed it had something to do with the cartoon characters.  This series reminds me of my childhood, when I used to tell my brother how immature and dumb he was for watching it.  Thirteen years later, I realize he was the smart one, and I was the humorless bore.  With the end of ‘The Hills,’ Mtv decided that they could use Mike Judge’s children again, which will serve to not only successfully fill the time slot, but also to resurrect music videos on Mtv.  I can’t wait to see what Beavis says about Lady Gaga.  I’m glad Mtv got its act together and found a way to integrate music videos again, because  removing “music television” from the logo simply doesn’t cut it.

Update: See an interview with Mike Judge below, where he talks about missing Beavis & Butt-Head.

I have yet to see the Joaquin Phoenix “mockumentary,” and I am already annoyed.  Am I the only person that doesn’t find this type of thing funny?  If you believe the film to be true, then Casey Affleck chronicled Joaquin Phoenix’s real-life drug melt-down, and then sold it for profit.  If you don’t believe it, then Casey Affleck made light of a very serious issue, which is especially concerning given that Joaquin’s own brother died of a drug overdose.  Forgive me for not having a sense of humor.  I predict that this is indeed an Andy Kaufman style hoax, and that Phoenix went along with it as a favor to Affleck, who is his brother-in-law.  I will say though that I know someone who met Phoenix at a private party during this time, and confirmed to me that he was “completely insane.”  I’m not entirely sure what to make of that information.  Perhaps Phoenix, like Andy Kaufman, stayed in character even during his personal life when Affleck’s cameras were not rolling.  Or perhaps Phoenix is just insane altogether. I don’t have the answer.  All I know is that I’m amongst the up-tight pricks that finds this voyeuristic nonsense disturbing.

The United States 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals in New York, put the kibosh on the FCC today, claiming that it is unconstitutional to restrict “fleeting expletives.”  The court ruled that the FCC regulation violates the First Amendment, because it is unconstitutionally vague, which causes a “chilling effect” on speech.  To summarize, no one has any idea what violates the FCC’s vague rule, so people curb their speech altogether for fear of being fined.  The suit began in 2006 after Congress (under the Bush administration) increased fines for indecency following Janet Jackson’s nipple-gate at the super bowl.   Broadcast networks sued the FCC in retaliation for the fines, the networks won, the FCC appealed, and the court shut the FCC down on appeal today.  This is a big victory for the entertainment industry, because there is constant pressure during live broadcasts to monitor content that networks have no control over.  In honor of the First Amendment, I am attaching this previously posted ‘American Dad’ video, because nothing says free speech like bestiality.

John Stamos is suing a girl for extortion, after she allegedly claimed to have pictures of him doing cocaine. The girl was said to be underage at the time she and Stamos had sex. Because the lawsuit is about extortion and not statutory rape, the only issue at hand is whether she tried to extort money from him, and not whether Stamos had sex with a 17 year old. Huh? Believe it or not, that’s actually not what I’m confused about. Here’s what I don’t understand: if you are John Stamos, and a girl is trying to extort money from you via email over a picture that doesn’t exist, wouldn’t you just hit the spam button on your computer? Don’t celebrities deal these types of crazies on a daily basis? Why draw attention to this by calling the FBI and taking it to court?