A remake of the 2008 French film, ‘LOL: Laughing Out Loud,’ is in the works, and I’m not laughing. You might be surprised to discover that my problem with the film has nothing to do with Miley Cyrus as the lead, but rather, the use of this ridiculous expression in the title. Yes, I am a child of an online generation, in which there are insane abbreviations for just about everything. But I draw a serious line in the sand at LOL. First of all, are you actually laughing out loud? Second, why not just write “hah”? Isn’t that simply more accurate? I also don’t understand why men are so freely using such an effeminate expression. Next they will start writing “Tee-Hee-Hee.” Hopefully this blog will help eliminate this horrific pop-culture staple. A giant leap for mankind from The Dishmaster.
Blog Daily Roundup
- John Krasinski and Emily Blunt got married. Zap2it
- Listen to Mel Gibson’s “N-Word” tirade. Popcrunch
- Jessica Simpson snapped making out with her new man. Us Weekly
- Mel Gibson’s agency gave him the boot. Vulture
- Lindsay Lohan hired a new lawyer. TMZ
- Melissa Etheridge’s ex wants full custody of their children. Radar Online
- Greg Brady/Barry Williams is back together with the woman he claimed threatened to kill him. Popeater
- Joan Rivers and Samantha Ronson are duking it out on twitter over Lindsay Lohan. Dlisted
- Carrie Underwood married Mike Fisher. The Celebrity Truth
- Don Johnson is $23 million richer. In Entertainment
- See Brody Jenner’s Avril tattoo. People
Britney Spears is a Genius — Yeah, You Heard Me
I often argue with a very pompous guy I know about whether Britney Spears has actual talent. When I tell him that other pop-tarts didn’t catapult to stardom the way Spears did (which has to count for something), he insists that it’s because those other stars were simply viewed as copy-cats, and had they been the first horse out of the gate, Spears would be the one struggling. So I am dedicating this post to that take-the-stick-out-of-your-ass guy, so he can read it and learn a thing or two. The first reason Spears is a genius, is because her career launching music video, ‘. . . Baby One More Time,’ was entirely her idea. The director originally wanted it to be in cartoon-form, and Britney protested, suggesting that shooting in a school would have greater appeal to her fan base. She also came up with the legendary naughty-school-girl outfits, after she disliked the director’s “dorky” costume choices. Furthermore, she crafted the videos for both ‘Toxic’ and ‘Womanizer.’ The final evidence of Britney’s business savvy, is that she knows her limitations. Many performers in the industry gain their initial success by singing songs written by others. When they make a little dough, they start to get arrogant and insist on writing their own terrible music (Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Kelly Clarkson, etc . . . ). Britney; however, chooses to stick with her strengths, and churns out great performances, while singing songs written by the best songwriters in the industry. I’d also like to note her well-crafted career resurrection after her personal troubles. Yes, she has great management (Larry Rudolph). But many artists have great management, and still could not pull-off such a drastic turn-around. And lastly –Go Britney!
Brian Austin Green Joins ‘Housewives’ — Bloggers Back-Off!
I was thrilled to read on Deadline that Brian Austin Green joined ‘Desperate Housewives,’ and I just assumed that everyone would share in my excitement. After all, didn’t we all grow up in the 90210 generation? Apparently not. I was aghast to discover the venomous outrage for Green in the comments section of Deadline, on top of the insistence that ‘Housewives’ has jumped-the-shark. I then decided to write an extremely witty post on Deadline, in which I excessively used the word “haters,” and accused the anti-Green mafia of not watching the show, because if they did, they would surely know that it has not in fact jumped-the-shark. I need not tell you what happened next. The Deadline loyalists accosted me, and I quickly retreated to the sanctity of my own website. Since I am confident that my readers are of the 90210 generation, I am sure that I won’t receive the same negative backlash. Who doesn’t like David Silver?
NBC Congratulates Conan on his Emmy Nomination — Sort of
I have to give NBC some major props. They have somehow managed to act like the scorned lover in this late-night debacle. It takes a great mastery to pull that off. You might just think it was Conan that screwed NBC and not the other way around. When asked about Conan’s Emmy nomination, they simply said, “We congratulate Conan and all our Emmy nominees on their creative accomplishments and their deserved nominations.” This reminds me of the sixth grade when I asked my English teacher if my paper was good, and she said, “Yes, everyone’s paper was good.” Ouch!
Hot Jews In the Industry – Why Not?
While I was day dreaming about Robert Downey Jr., I found myself wondering if I could take him home to my mother. The first question that popped into my head was — is he Jewish? So I looked it up and it turns out that he is not “technically” Jewish, but he does have a little Jew in him from his father’s side. Good enough for me (but probably not my mom). Anyways, my daydreams got me thinking about hot Jews in the industry, so I decided to make a list. I sadly have to admit that they were hard to find. Enjoy below!
This news made me very happy. Harry Connick Jr. can sing to me, and I can take him home to mom. What a combination!
I don’t think it matters much to Jake Gyllenhaal whether he marries a Jewish girl, given that both Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst are non-Jews. Perhaps he just has a thing for blonds. If so, I’m out of the running.
Zac Efron just doesn’t do it for me (because I’m not a cradle robber?), but he seems to be very popular with the ladies, so I’ve added him.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the next Brad Pitt. With the exception of fasting on Yom Kippur, that is.
Craig Bierko was on two of my favorite shows. He was Ally McBeal’s suitor, and he was also “Jazz Man” on Sex and the City. I recently asked Mr. Bierko on twitter if giving Carrie Bradshaw the “most intense orgasm of her life,” has created unreasonably high expectations from the ladies — no response yet. (I apologize to the man on the left of this picture, I simply couldn’t find another shot).
I love me a silver fox. Harrison Ford’s ancestors and my ancestors actually immigrated from the same place in Europe. Perhaps we’re related. On second thought — that would make this post kind of creepy.
LeAnn Rimes Wonders Why It’s Wrong to Shove Her Ass in a Child’s Face
LeAnn Rimes continues to amaze me. Not only did she have an affair with a married man, and only acknowledged the moral quandary when her album dropped, but she now likes to put her ass in the face of little children. She was recently photographed on the beach kissing her boyfriend, Eddie Cibrian, and his little son was nearly smothered by her ass. When fans slammed her, she merely said, “since when is kissing your boyfriend a crime?!” Listen LeAnn, you are perefectly free to kiss your boyfriend, you just shouldn’t do when his child is disturbingly close to your rear end. My goodness, what happened to the little girl who yodeled on Oprah? To see the picture in question, click here.
Update: LeAnn just quit twitter because, “It’s unhealthy for [her] and [her] family to have to read negative comments from people who’s [sic] opinions have no bearing on [her] life.”
Ringo Starr Wants You to Celebrate His 70th Birthday With “Peace and Love”
It’s Ringo’s birthday today, and he has asked that we all put our fingers in the air, and say “peace and love.” Many of you might have forgotten where Ringo’s words “peace and love” initially came from. Though the words sound kind, he actually said it during an online message urging fans to stop writing him. “Please do not send fan mail to any address that you have, nothing will be signed,” said Ringo. “I have too much to do, and it will be tossed.” I often get angry when celebrities take such foul attitudes, but for some reason I found this to be absolutely hilarious. And I’m not the only one. When Paul McCartney was asked by Howard Stern about Ringo’s message, McCartney started laughing and said “that’s just Ringo. He has always been that way.” Watch Ringo’s message below.
George Lucas Wants to Zap Laser Company With His Lightsaber
George Lucas will never let you see a real-life lightsaber. Unless he makes it of course. Lucas is trying to stop a laser company from producing a laser that closely resembles his famous lightsaber. He thinks they deliberately modeled it after the Jedi weapon, and Gizmodo, along with many other techie blogs, agree. Steve Liu, CEO of Wicked Lasers, insists it’s merely a coincidence, but Lucas isn’t having it – he’s already filed a cease and desist order. Because Wicked has yet to change their laser design, I imagine this will turn into a game of chicken and Lucasfilm will win. Who in their right mind would go up against a gazillionaire in court?
Blog Daily Roundup
- Lindsay Lohan gets 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab. Gay Socialites
- X-Factor judge, Cheryl Cole, has malaria. The Hollywood Gossip
- Prince doesn’t believe in the internet. Craw Daddy
- American Idol tour cancels seven stops. Reality Blurred
- Eclipse rakes in $200 million at the box office. The Wrap
- Dave Chappelle deemed a safety risk on private jet. TMZ
- Javier Bardem will appear on Glee. Playblog
- James Bond may be dead. Movieline
- Stephen Dorff is a very good looking man. Dlisted
- Kelsey Grammer confirms that he called his kids on Father’s Day. Popeater
- Jessica Simpson has a new boyfriend. The Gossip Girls
- George Michael is arrested after driving his car into a store. The Celebrity Truth
- The women of ‘The Daily Show‘ respond to sexism claims. Salon