Nothing pleases me more than when a bad movie gets its due. Though I love me some Robert Downey Jr., I’m glad to see that the film took a financial hit for being such low quality. There is a painful lesson to be learned from this though; don’t get greedy. ‘Iron Man 2’ was created too soon after the original, possibly as a desperate attempt to cash-in. Christopher Nolan waited a full three years to make ‘The Dark Knight’ after ‘Batman Begins,’ and his patience paid-off. Unlike Nolan, Jon Favreau’s ‘Iron Man’ sequel had a much quicker turn-around, perhaps because he was pressured by the studio to get it out quickly. To be fair, ‘Iron Man 2’ will make about $308 million domestically, which sounds pretty good. But grossing less than the original is a bad sign. Favreau will hopefully make some changes for the third installment.
The Bachelor Special: Vienna Wins the Night
I watched the Bachelor special last night, and it was just as good as promised. I’m now more convinced than ever that the show is real, and that Jake and Vienna were actually in a relationship. Why? Because nothing says relationship like an “undermined” man and an “emotionally abused” woman. I expected a lot of bickering, but I did not expect to side so strongly with Vienna. Chris Harrison, being the terrible host and she-hater that he is, completely glossed some revealing gems about what a douche Jake is. For example, he flew Vienna’s dog in from Florida, only to fly the dog back because he wasn’t properly potty trained. If my boyfriend chucked my dog, I’d chuck my boyfriend. Jake also yelled at Vienna numerous times for “interrupting” him, presumably because he can’t engage in a conversation, and instead prefers to wax on in monologue form. He also revealed that he never slept with Vienna past month one of their relationship, because what man would want to sleep with a woman that treats him the way she does? Um – I hate to break the news to Jake, but I think any man on the planet would want to sleep with a woman under any circumstances. Nice try, though. By the way, have we all forgotten that Jake is the same guy that cried over a balcony on Jillian Harris’ season of ‘The Bachelorette’? We should have known then. If you want to watch the special, I’ve attached it below. Feel free to scroll through it at your fancy. Also, click the link to read another great article summing up last night’s episode.
Reality Blurred: Jake & Vienna
Top Quotes: The Celebrity Scorned Lover
There’s nothing like a good old fashioned dig from a scorned lover. In honor of July 4th weekend, I have compiled a list of some personal favorites. Grab some popcorn and enjoy!
Laura Dern on Billy Bob Thornton leaving her for Angelina Jolie:
“I left our home to go and make a movie, and while I was away my boyfriend got married, and I never heard from him again.”
Nicole Kidman on her divorce from Tom Cruise:
“Now I can wear high heels.”
Brittany Murphy on Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (R.I.P. Brit):
“I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn’t matter and to her that size doesn’t matter.”
Jennifer Aniston on Brad Pitt’s W Magazine photo-shoot with Angelina Jolie
“There’s a sensitivity chip that’s missing.”
Dennis Quaid on Meg Ryan’s affair with Russell Crowe:
“I think Russell did Meg and I a favor.”
Michael Douglas on ex-wife Diandra Douglas’ parenting skills:
She was a “young mother without any parenting skills handed down from her parents.”
Emma Thompson on the prospect of having a baby with her then husband Kenneth Branagh (who supposedly left Thompson for Helena Bonham Carter)
“Ken is so tired, his sperm are on crutches.”
Tate Donovan on why he and Jennifer Aniston broke up:
“She likes top-notch hotels and luxury, and I like bed and breakfasts and riding my bike.”
Keifer Sutherland on his best friend, Jason Patric, never confessing his love for Sutherland’s then fiance, Julia Roberts (who left Sutherland three days before the wedding and went to Europe with Patric).
‘I’m surprised that I never got a call from him saying I’ve fallen in love da-da-da. Instead, I found out from a stranger.’
Jason Patric on his breakup with Julia Roberts
“I knew (dating her) would be trouble. But I think sometimes people walk into their own nightmare maybe not so consciously. This was a person who very much put herself in the public eye, and the public life. I think everyone has a right to privacy, but once you use your personal life to advance your fame, you really don’t have the right to say no to (the press).”
Where Did All the Good Movies Go?
Ever since Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch, there has been a lot of talk about how he “fell from grace.” It’s possible that he’s responsible for his own demise, but what of all the other A-list actors that haven’t had hits in years? What about Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Jim Carrey, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robin Williams, Denzel Washington, and Eddie Murphy? Did all these guys jump on Oprah’s couch? It’s not as if younger actors are taking the place of these Hollywood veterans. Who’s the new action star that replaced Bruce Willis? And what comedic actor is the new Jim Carrey? So what’s the answer? The painful truth is that Hollywood just isn’t making good movies anymore. The days of risk-taking and creativity are over. We have entered an era of butchering our coveted classics with painful remakes, and extending a franchise way beyond its welcome. Why? Because it’s easy and cheap. It simply does not cost the studio as much money to promote a remake. We all know what ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ is about, so the title alone is enough – no need to see the trailer more than once. It’s less of a risk, because the nostalgia will automatically bring people to the theater. It also only requires two brain cells to come up with a remake, so pure laziness is another possible factor. I understand that we are all a bunch of hypocrites that speak with out wallets (given that these movies all make money), but when there is no competition, our love for the theater means we’ll go no matter what – with or without quality. So the next time you start your A-list actor bashing, ask yourself whose fault their slump is – the studio or the actor.
Janet Jackson Performs at the Essence Music Festival – Without Pants
Here we go again. There are a lot of different ways to design a stage-worthy costume, and apparently they all involve not wearing pants. Lady Gaga started this trend, and every other female singer in the industry feels the need to copy it. Those include Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Christina Aguilera, and the list goes on and on. Just because one person becomes known for doing something, doesn’t mean you have to do it too. The reason Gaga is successful, is because she is unique, so by taking her ideas on as your own, you’re merely a copy-cat. I suppose I’m so annoyed because Janet Jackson recently performed on American Idol wearing a black jumpsuit, and I remember thinking that she looked the best I’ve ever seen her. I thought: leave it to Janet to have an individual style, and stand-out without all the bells and whistles. So when she showed up a the Essence Music Festival looking like everyone else, it seriously bummed me out.
Today’s Question: What Ever Happened to Gaby Hoffmann?
Gaby Hoffmann was pretty much the Dakota Fanning of the early nineties. By the age of eleven, she already had four major box-office hits under her belt. You might remember her as Macaulay Culkin’s sister ‘Maizy’ from ‘Uncle Buck’, and Kevin Costner’s daughter in ‘Field of Dreams.’ She also appeared in ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ and ‘Now and Then.’ So where is she now, and is she still acting? I have to admit I was nervous to find an answer to this question. Did she end up a washed-up child star that couldn’t transition into adult roles? I’m happy to report that the answer is no. During her early teen years, Hoffmann starred in some critically acclaimed films including: ‘Everyone Says I Love You’ and ‘200 Cigarettes.’ She then concentrated on theater, before eventually moving back into film. Her next big project is the thriller ’13’, alongside Mickey Rourke, which will come out in 2010. Good to know we won’t be seeing her on a child-actors-gone-wrong special. If you’re curious to know what she looked like as a kid, click here. Otherwise, she’s in the middle of the pic below.
Today’s Rule: Celebrities Must Stop Blogging
Since her split from Melissa Etheridge, Tammy Lynn Michaels has been doing quite a lot of blogging. She recently took to her website to write some verses about Etheridge filing for divorce. While I usually love me some scorned-lover-bashing, it’s not quite as enjoyable when it’s in the form of a tortuous haiku. And Michaels isn’t the first celebrity to engage in this “style” of writing. Rosie O’Donnell frequently writes ridiculous prose on her website as well. I presume this is an attempt at writing some kind of profound, covert message. Here’s my advice: just write coherent sentences. I promise that a grammatically correct style of writing that actually makes sense will be much more cathartic. Click here to read the post.
Blog Daily Roundup
- Dancing With the Stars’ Julianne Hough is dating Ryan Seacrest. Digital Spy
- Kelsey Grammar’s wife filed for divorce. The Celebrity Cafe
- Lindsay Lohan punched by waitress on her birthday. Popeater
- Paris Hilton arrested for smoking pot in Brazil. Technorati
- Girls Gone Wild’s Joe Francis is getting married. Dlisted
- Jude Law wants to block his ex, Sadie Frost, from writing a book. Contact Music
- Jaycee Dugard awarded a $30 million settlement from California. Radar Online
- Andrew Garfield is Spiderman. Movieline
- Tori Spelling’s husband is out of the ICU. E! Online
- Melissa Etheridge files for divorce, leaves Tammy Lynn Michaels blindsided and broke. Zap2It
- Elin Woods will get a $100 million settlement from Tiger Woods. Hollywood Life
- Carrie Prejean gets married. Spreadit
James Cameron is Directing the Black Eyed Peas in 3D – Huh?
I’d first like to confess that I hate music videos. They make absolutely no sense to me. Sure there was Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, but in order to “break ground,” don’t others have to follow suit? Otherwise, you’re just an exception to the general rule of mediocrity, and lip syncing in front of a wind-machine usually doesn’t strike my fancy. So when I heard that James Cameron is directing a 3D version of the Black Eyed Peas concert, I realized that it’s time to get over it – otherwise I might self-combust from annoyance. Not only is this a gigantic version of a music video, but it’s also in the loathsome 3D. I wonder if Cameron just doesn’t know what to do with his time now that ‘Avatar’ is over, and he thought this would up his cool factor. As for the Black Eyed Peas, they are predictably humble, proclaiming that they got Cameron to do this because they are “the biggest group on the planet.”
Did Robert Downey Jr. Hate ‘Iron Man 2’?
A friend of mine who knows about my unhealthy obsession with Robert Downey Jr., recently sent me an old interview of his with Men’s Journal. I noticed something very interesting hidden between the lines. He talked about the torture of working on a film you don’t believe in, saying “you have to be collarbone-deep in molasses for four months and just go, ‘I have no solace in my work whatsoever, and it’s 12 hours a day of cosmic punishment.’” When the interviewer asked which film it was, Downey wouldn’t answer, but confirmed it was recent. After eliminating ‘Shaggy Dog’ from the possibilities (which he said was a “very important” movie for him), only ‘Iron Man 2’ is left. Upon suggesting it, Downey’s silent. The reason I find this so intriguing, is because I thought ‘Iron Man 2’ was a giant tub of lard, and I wondered at the time whether Downey thought the same. It looked like it was thrown together at the last minute, so that the studio could just cash in. Judging by his Men’s Journal interview, I think I have my answer.