When people ask me if I’m a “writer,” I always say no. I tell them I’m “aspiring.” The reason? Every so often I read articles like the one Alec Baldwin just wrote for Huffington Post, and it’s confirmed that I have a lot of work to do before I get there. Baldwin wrote an open letter to Charlie Sheen, and it’s brilliant. He told Sheen to “beg for his job back,” and he shared a very personal anecdote that illustrated his own frustrations with the entertainment industry. When I studied film in college, my professor actually discussed this story about Baldwin, and he told the class that Baldwin turned down the opportunity to star in the sequels to The Hunt for Red October, because he wanted to star in A Streetcar Named Desire on Broadway in hopes that it would solidify his status as an A-list actor. My professor said it’s considered one of the greatest blunders in Hollywood history. After reading Alec Baldwin’s recanting of what really happened, I’m convinced that Baldwin would kill my professor. It turns out the the movie studio (Paramount) was negotiating simultaneous deals with Alec Baldwin and another A-list actor for the same part, thus breaking the law. The movie studio owed this unnamed actor money for a previous deal that fell apart, and casting him in Alec’s role would not only save them money, but potentially help their film by casting someone who’s a bigger box-office draw. The studio knew Alec wanted to star in the play, and they insisted that the production schedule could not accommodate Baldwin. The implication from Baldwin’s letter is that the studio played hard-ball in hopes that Alec would drop out so they could employ the other actor. If that’s true, it worked. So what’s the thesis of Baldwin’s lesson? “You can’t win,” and “no actor is greater than the show itself when the show is a hit.” He therefore thinks Sheen should “sober up,” “get back on TV” and “buy John Cryer a really nice car.”
There’s a lot of uncertainly surrounding Charlie Sheen’s HIV diagnosis, but one thing is clear. The man is #NOTWINNING. After publicizing his sexual antics, extreme spending, and recreational drug use, his behavior finally has consequences, and the ‘Two and a Half Men’ star has paid millions to former partners. As for who knew what and when, and whether he infected others, he’s insisting he took all the necessary precautions. His ex, Bree Olsen, says otherwise, and the former porn star told Howard Stern that although she does not have the disease, she’s livid he did not disclose his status, and the two engaged in unprotected sex without his disclosure. Watch Sheen’s interview below.
If Charlie Seen calls out your antics, things are bad. Sheen appeared on Leno and confirmed the rumors that Lindsay Lohan’s tardiness tanked their Anger Management taping. Sheen would know a thing or two about struggling with addiction, but since he’s notorious for his professionalism regardless of his private “indulgences,” I’m assuming his empathy is limited. Watch below.
If you wondered why Charlie Sheen recently changed his tune about Two and a Half Men in support of Ashton Kutcher — your questions are answered. According to Deadline, Sheen and Warner Bros. are close to reaching a very lucrative settlement on Sheen’s 100 million dollar lawsuit. Though no contracts are signed as of yet, it certainly helps settlement negotiations when one of the parties is openly cooperative. And furthermore, if it’s true that Sheen will pocket a $25 million settlement without putting in any extra hours on set, well then I imagine he’s a happy guy. Sure it’s less than what he would have had if he kept working on the show — but getting $25 million for getting fired is a sweet deal. Oh yeah — he’s also shopping a new series — which also explains his image cleanup tour.
“I’ve seen scandal after scandal, and after a few months, nobody remembers it. It’s totally irrelevant. After Osama, who’s talking about Charlie Sheen? All you have to do in America is keep your mouth shut for a day or two.” Albert Ruddy, producer of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s recently shelved comeback film, ‘Cry Macho.’
Of all the names thrown around to replace Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher is by far the best. Though I’m unsure anyone can rescue a show that lost it’s star, Kutcher is certainly worth betting on. First, he’s a social media superstar, which will help people get excited about the transition. And second, he’s a television titan. In recent years, Kutcher has made a valiant attempt at a movie career, which has fallen flat. Some actors just aren’t meant for the movie business, and Kutcher is one of them. He’s a Television star who hit it big on ‘That 70’s Show,’ and something tells me he’ll hit it big again on this one. Plus, he’s getting paid bank, which makes his decision a win-win regardless of the outcome.
Despite everything you read in the press about Charlie Sheen’s Two and a Half Men firing, I’m still 100% convinced CBS wants him back. Though I have no inside information on this one, I know Hollywood — which means I know that it’s ruled by money, and no amount of shenanigans is worth losing hundreds of millions of dollars for. And let’s be clear — Charlie Sheen’s firing will cost CBS that amount of money, because he slaughtered their cash cow. Sure, they could “replace” him, but it will never be the same, and those shows without him will hurt CBS’ syndication money. If I were Les Moonves, I’d take Charlie Sheen back in a second. Yes, he’s crazy. But the combination of Charlie’s 60 million dollar loss, along with CBS’ lost syndication money — makes a perfect match for his return. Crazy or not.
Celebrity meltdowns are only funny when it’s about a spoiled brat learning a lesson. But when someone completely loses their mind, it’s no longer funny. The Charlie Sheen debacle was funny for the first five interviews, and then it became sad. So when Charlie Sheen called John Cryer a “troll,” I actually felt sorry for Sheen. He felt betrayed by Cryer, and he lashed out at him in one of his many insane fits. Cryer made fun of the accusation on Conan O’Brien, and I’m pretty sure it was in bad taste. Watch below and judge for yourself.
Warner Bros. (the studio that produces Two and a Half Men for CBS) announced the end of Charlie Sheen today, firing him before the remainder of the season. I’m actually shocked by the news, not only because I ‘thought the studio would rather take the personal risk of employing a crazy actor, than the financial risk of killing their cash cow. Having said that, Charlie Sheen’s antics just cost him $60 million dollars, and then some. Because the show was shut down prior to the remainder of the season, that means CBS doesn’t have to pay Charlie Sheen for the eight episodes that went un-produced. Let me break this down in simpler terms to make the point clear. When actors sign television contracts, they get paid per episode, for “all episodes produced.” For example, if Sheen was fired mid-season, and then Stamos was hired to take his place, CBS would have to pay both Stamos AND Sheen, because Sheen’s contract said he gets paid for every episode produced in that season, whether he’s in the episode or not. Unfortunately for Sheen, CBS shut down production entirely, before finishing the last 8 episodes of the season. Translation — if the episodes weren’t made, then Sheen doesn’t get paid. Since Sheen makes 2 million dollars per episode, that means he just lost 16 million dollars. If only he could have contained his crazy for the rest of the season — he might have been able to hold off a predictable future bankruptcy a little longer (has he learned nothing from Nic Cage?). He also could have just acted like a normal human being and stayed on the the show until it ran it’s course. Just to make your jaw drop at his stupidity, just one more season of Two and a Half Men at $2 million per episode would have likely earned him $44 million. That’s a total of $60 million. Sheen’s lawyer is currently arguing that he should be paid for the remaining eight episodes of the current season, even though Warner Bros. never produced them. Good luck, Charlie.
Have you ever gone to a house party where everyone seems to be having a great time, and you’re looking for the nearest exit? Such is the case with Charlie Sheen’s web-cast, which looked like the least happening shin-dig imaginable. The only entertainment involved his overuse of the word “winning,” which never gets old. Unless Sheen plans on releasing a porn involving his two “goddesses,” I’m not interested in any future broadcasting from his mansion. As an aside, Charlie Sheen’s antics prove exactly why television networks make actors “exclusive” to the network in their contracts. Now that Charlie Sheen is free from Two and a Half Men, he can be “funny” in real life. Great for him, bad for us. I imagine that if every actor was this legally free to pursue their creative fantasies, you might see some other A-listers going bat-sh#t-crazy. Watch the “entertainment” below.