If you had no knowledge of Maroon 5 and tuned into the Super Bowl halftime show last night, you’d have thought Adam Levine was a solo act. That’s a shame, especially since I’ve seen Maroon 5 live, and the only good part of the show is lead guitarist James Valentine. Mr. Valentine is the extremely well-dressed, long-haired gentleman who can play. He’s often lost in the shadows of Levine, who is less than generous to his band. When I saw them perform live at The Forum, his band was barely visible behind the ridiculous light show and stage placement. If you’re curious what it looks like when a lead singer is generous to his fellow musicians, go see Bruce Springsteen live. I realize that no one compares to The Boss, but given his performing prowess, one might expect that he too would steal the spotlight at the expense of his band — and he does the opposite.
If I were a contestant on The Voice, it would take me one millisecond to choose Blake Shelton as my mentor. The reason? He’s the only judge with post-show loyalty. It’s not about winning the show, it’s about what happens after you win the show, and a huge part of an artist’s success is whether other artists with more fame promote them. And Blake Shelton constantly promotes Dia Frampton and Xenia, two contestants from the last season of the show. Sure Adam Levine won with Javier Colon, but does he invite him to sing at Maroon 5 concerts? In fact, Dia Frampton is joining Blake Shelton on tour. You can’t beat that type of exposure. There is no way Christina Aguilera would make that same type of offer.
There’s only two singers I’ve stopped listening to solely because of their terrible personalities. If you read my blog, you could easily guess that the lucky singers are Adam Levine and John Mayer. I stopped listening to John Mayer when he began to act ridiculous in interviews, and the Jessica Simpson debacle officially put the fork in him. I banned Adam Levine for just about the same reason. I’m aware that he’s only one member of an entire band, but he’s annoying enough for me to cut off Maroon 5 as a whole. He’s in love with himself, and his new naked ad is no exception. I’ve pulled a quote for your enjoyment. Levine said, “I spend most of my life naked. In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am. But I live in California, where it’s always warm, so why not?” First of all Adam, I also live in California, and I can assure you that I wore a very heavy jacket today because it’s too cold for nudity. Second, aren’t you secretly a dorky Jewish guy that couldn’t get laid for most of your teenage life? I don’t know for sure — but I’m guessing. Maybe I just get angry when the Jewish guys date blond chicks — because you know — us Jewish brunettes are more attractive.
I’m always looking for new music. I dig through Pandora and Grooveshark looking for an artist that I won’t immediately get tired of. This week, Erik Hassle joins Kate Nash and Florence + The Machine as my new find. He’s from Sweden, and his debut album, Hassle, reached #2 on the Swedish pop charts. He actually sounds a bit like Maroon 5, which I regret to admit, considering I find Adam Levine to be incredibly annoying. In fact — the less I know about Hassle the better — because everyone annoys me eventually. I’ve attached some of his songs below for your enjoyment. I recommend Don’t Bring Flowers.