Shia LaBeouf Apologizes for Plagiarism With Plagiarized Apology

Shia LaBeouf has once again landed in the news, and this time it doesn’t involve Alec Baldwin or Steven Spielberg. Here’s the story in a nutshell. LaBeouf released a short film starring Jim Gaffigan, entitled Online bloggers quickly noticed its likeness to artist Daniel Clowes’ 2007 graphic novella Justin M. Damiano. According to Deadline, this likeness included, “word-for-word dialogue and visuals lifted directly from the original.” LaBeouf attempted to squirm out of the public’s backlash by announcing his amateur status as a filmmaker (you know . . . because new filmmakers know nothing about plagiarism). Then, in what can only be described as both brilliant and insane, LaBeouf issued another apology, which mimics Tiger Woods’s mea culpa, saying, “I have let my family down, and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart.” You have to hand it to the guy. If you’re going to plagiarize your plagiarism apology, you might as well get creative.


Why is Charlie Sheen Invincible in the Press?

There’s a lot of theories floating around on entertainment news shows about why Charlie Sheen seems to get away with his bad behavior.  Many people blame CBS, saying that they would never fire Sheen for bad conduct because the television business is all about ratings, and Two and a Half Men is still a big hit on the network.  Though I’d take just about any opportunity to bash network suits, I’m going to make an exception this time around.  Charlie Sheen is still likable because he owns up to his behavior.  He was recently caught doing drugs with a hooker in a hotel room, which didn’t come as a surprise since everyone already knows Charlie Sheen does drugs and sleeps with hookers.  He’s never tried to snow the public by presenting himself as an upstanding, moral family-man.  Look at Oprah, for example.  She’s practically Jesus, and she’s openly admitted to drug use and having sex with a married man.  Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods are unforgiven because they tried to dupe the public into believing they were flawless.  If Tiger presented himself as a womanizer from the very beginning of his golf career, I think he would have ended up just as popular as he ultimately became.  So what’s the moral of the story?  You’re free to snort cocaine off a hooker’s stomach — just own up to it.

Jesper Parnevik Says Tiger is "No Longer Welcome" in His Home

Golfer Jesper Parnevik, introduced Tiger and his wife Elin, while Elin was working as Jesper’s nanny.  I think it’s safe to say that Jesper regrets playing matchmaker.  In a recent interview with Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet, Jesper said that he isn’t looking forward to bumping into Tiger at a golf tournament, but he promises “not to hit him with a golf club.”  Gosh, he’s just so unforgiving.  C’mon – Tiger is a sex addict remember?  Have some compassion. 

Tiger Woods at the Masters is Cable’s Most Watched Golf Telecast in History

So I guess his return to golf paid off.  ESPN’s live coverage of the masters had close to five million viewers, making it “the most watched golf telecast in cable history.”  To be fair, is this really a golf telecast?  I would imagine that most people tuned in not to actually watch him play golf, but to see if one of Tiger’s whores would storm the green naked, while screaming “you owe me an apology!”  Unfortunately, this didn’t occur.  There’s always next time though.

Tiger Woods New Nike Commercial Features the Voice of his Dead Father

I don’t even know where to begin.  The new Nike commercial is a feeble attempt by Nike to humanize Tiger, by using his dad’s voice to ask some illusive questions that would probably be a lot more specific if he was alive today.  For example, his dad might ask why he didn’t just hire prostitutes instead of having to waste so much time texting five thousand different women.  Wait . . . that was my question.  For goodness sakes, how much pussy does one man need?  Good thing my primary demographic for this website is women, because I am afraid of how the men might answer that.  Watch below.

CBS Turned Down Tiger Woods Intervew

I knew this was suspicious.  I just learned that the ESPN interview with Tiger Woods was originally offered to CBS, but they turned it down because they didn’t want to meet all of the interview restrictions, particularly the 5 minute time limit.  I am also guessing there were tight restraints on the types of questions that would be asked.  CBS made the right choice I think.  There is no point in doing a bad, watered-down interview.  As an aside, I just saw this interview, and it is pretty ridiculous.  He’s not even sitting in a chair!  Does it even count as an interview if there isn’t a chair?  Plus, it seems awfully rehearsed.  I am sure he was given a list of every single question beforehand.  Watch below. 

Tiger Woods First Interview Since the Scandal Will Air Tonight

Tiger Woods is allegedly sitting down for a one-on-one interview with ESPN’s Tom Rinaldi Sunday (tonight) at 7pm.  The interview was supposed to be hush-hush, but the story was leaked, probably as a ploy to boost ratings.  I’m actually not sure why an interview would air without any promotion whatsoever.  What is the point of doing an interview if no one knows to tune in?  I guess Tiger didn’t take Barbara Walters’ advice when she said not to do an interview.  Ironically, I was hoping that if he agreed to do a sit-down interview, it would be with Babs herself.  I think he wanted the ESPN sports audience to tune in in time for the Masters.  See Barbara Walters give advice to Tiger below.