Author: The Dishmaster

Oprah on Lance Armstrong: “He Didn’t Come Clean In the Manner I Expected”

If you’re going to come clean, Oprah is likely your best bet. She’s forgiving and honest, and she refrains from judgment. That being said, Lance Armstrong is done. It’s one thing to lie. It’s another to lie consistently, adamantly, and un-apologetically. I’ve re-watched his denials, and I’m astounded at the lengths of his lies. I’ll forgive for just about anything except ruining my reality. I believed him. I defended him. And no matter the accusations, I went with his “witch hunt” defense. Lastly, if you lie to me once, you’ll lie to me twice. So who’s to say the guy is actually contrite? Is he remorseful for lying — or for getting caught?

Watch Oprah’s recount below, in which she states that she had 112 questions and “prepared for the interview as if it was a college exam.”

Amy Poehler & Tina Fey at the Golden Globes — WATCH

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler’s Golden Globes opening monologue proved that mean & funny don’t always coincide. That being said, they had a couple great zingers worthy of repeating:

“When it comes to torture, I trust the lady that spent three years married to James Cameron.” On Kathryn Bigelow’s nomination

“Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I haven’t seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.”

Joan Rivers on Lady Gaga: “For God’s Sake, Calm Down”

“I think this will hurt Gaga a little in the long term. It’s brought up again the fact she loves animals and wears fur. Fashion Police’ is funny. Gaga, of all people, should know that. She worked the same little clubs I did in the Village. She has gay followers and she doesn’t know funny? For God’s sake, calm down. I think that Gaga, who is making hundreds of millions of dollars a year with a bad nose, should get on her knees and thank God.” Joan Rivers on Lady Gaga’s feud with Kelly Osbourne over Kelly’s critique of Gaga’s recent weight gain.

Lance Armstrong to Admit Doping? — DON’T DO IT

20121017-100734.jpgI know women who have been cheated on, and despite the plethora of clues against their significant other, they always believe the lie. Why? Because no matter how damning the evidence, denial will always produce doubt. And before you dismiss my tangent as irrelevant, I’m about to explain. Rumors are circulating that Lance Armstrong will admit to Oprah that he doped. Though I can’t wait to see it, the rational side of my brain thinks it’s a bad idea. Let the man vanish into eternity with a tarnished record, and let the public’s seed of doubt remain. Without it, he’s a liar. And not just any liar. He’s the worst kind there is — the adamant, witch-hunt-screaming liar. I feel duped, disappointed, and outraged. I believed him. Had he just sat quietly while the accusations mounted instead of fighting so hard, perhaps the upcoming revelation would be easier to process. But the man actually sued people. So Lance, if you’re listening, don’t confess. Doubt is the most powerful weapon you can use to continue this charade.

Justin Timberlake Returns to Music? — Watch & Listen

Justin Timberlake deserves a lot of credit. Not only did he make a successful solo artist transition, but he’s actually one of very few men who have managed to move from music to acting. And to top that off, he’s in Lorne Michaels good graces, having hosted SNL more than once. So will he ever return to music? Judging from the self-indulgent video below, all signs point to yes.

Lena Dunham Responds to Howard Stern Calling Her a “Little Fat Girl”

Though I wasn’t a Lena Dunham fan before, I am most certainly one now. It all began when Howard Stern’s wife asked him to watch Dunham’s show, ‘Girls,’ and he took to the airwaves to voice his critique, saying, “It’s a little fat girl who kind of looks like Jonah Hill and she keeps taking her clothes off and it kind of feels like a rape. I don’t want to see that.” Dunham took it in stride and voiced her excitement to Letterman, saying she hoped to have his quote written on her gravestone because she wants the world to know that it’s “hard for little fat chicks to get something going,” and she certainly accomplished that. Watch below.

One Minute Rundown — Tabloid News Review


 

  • Jason Sudeikis & Olivia Wilde are engaged. People
  • Does Jennie Garth have a new man? Wet Paint
  • The Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries war wages on. Reality Tea
  • Are John Mayer & Katy Perry moving in together? Hollywood Life
  • Another Bachelor couple bit the dust. Reality Tv Magazine
  • Kanye West & Kim Kardashian bought a Bel Air home together. Forbes
  • Heidi Klum won’t get married again. PopBytes
  • Demi Moore still likes younger men . . . and Lindsay Lohan’s exes. E! Online
  • Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift for not putting out? The Sun
  • Former ‘Hills’ star and Lauren Conrad ex, Jason Wahler, got engaged. Us Magazine
  • Britney Spears and Jason Trawick broke up over kids. TMZ
  • Paris Hilton’s ex got engaged. OTRC
  • Simon Cowell and his ex-fiance are still good friends. Daily Mail
  • Rosario Dawson is dating Danny Boyle. Just Jared

Britney Spears is Single Again — The World Weeps

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I sure did root for this one, but where there’s smoke . . . .

Here’s Britney’s official statement:

“Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement. I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends.”

And here is Jason Trawick’s:

“As this chapter ends for us a new one begins. I love and cherish her and her boys and we will be close forever.”

Nothing says OVER like the words, “adore, friends, and cherish.”

It’s probably for the best. That whole, “I’m marrying my co-conservator thing” was a little odd.