Khloe Kardashian made her X Factor debut last night, and The Dishmaster gives the official seal of approval. Sure she’s unseasoned, has no sense of fashion, and seemed slightly uncomfortable reading the teleprompter. But she’s likable, and I give her an A for effort. She also seemed less like a robot than Mario Lopez, which I enjoyed. I have to also give her major props for successfully harassing Demi Lovato to give clarification on her ridiculously ambiguous comment. Moving forward though, I’d like to declare a national emergency on all Kardashian fashion. Those girls just can’t dress themselves. JUST-SAY-NO-TO-BODY-CON.
Author: The Dishmaster
Howard Stern Berates His Staff for Hurricane Sandy Absence — Lost His Mind
I’ve always known Howard Stern is nuts, and his crazy creates great content. That being said, this week’s insanity crossed the line. Stern berated his staff for their Hurricane Sandy absence, calling them undependable and scolding their work ethic. Though Stern showed up to broadcast, he found it unforgivable that his staff did not, and he even scoffed at the suggestion that they’d stay home to “protect their family,” insisting that had anything gone wrong, there’s nothing they could have done anyhow. His dedicated counterpart, Robin Quivers, even took his side, showing up each day and equally berating the staff. Though Stern proclaimed that he is “full of love” and “holds no animosity,” his subsequent comments indicated the opposite. For a guy with an excessive vacation schedule that outrages his fans, you’d think he’d be a little more understanding at the prospect of missing a show.
Shooter Jennings Bashes John Mayer — Welcomes the Hate Parade
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The best part of Shooter Jennings’ seemingly arbitrary attack on John Mayer is the world of shit he’s getting on twitter. In case you missed it, Jennings took to twitter to take-down Mayer, saying, “I love how the ‘neil young of our generation’ self-naming king douche grows his hair out + buys a place in Montana just to do [Rolling Stone] article . . . . Claims he’s ‘done w hollywood game’ and has ‘roots’ and then immediately cuts hair, goes back to hollywood clubs + starts banging Katy Perry . . . . And don’t anybody say he’s a great guitar player. Gary Clark Jr & [Lukas Nelson] wipes their asses with this dude.” The twittersphere erupted in John Mayer’s defense, accusing Jennings of riding his father’s coattails in addition to many other attacks. Hats off to Shooter for retweeting the entire exchange. To read the pop-corn-worthy show-down, click here. And in case you’re curious the identity of Lukas Nelson, click here to read my interview with the musician.
Couples Therapy Recap — Did Courtney Stodden Hit on Nik Richie?
Couples Therapy is the worst show on television — or the best — depending on how you see it. In fact, I despised The Dirty’s Nik Richie until watching the show. I’d like to say that’s because he’s shown a more vulnerable side of himself. But the real reason is that he’s got some very enjoyable one-liners that are worth sharing. This week’s favorite is, “I apologize Doug, because I think your wife wants to fuck me.” Watch below.
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Couples Therapy
Sabrina Bryan Eliminated From DWTS — A Predictable Shocker
When the same thing happens twice, it isn’t shocking — it’s predictable. There’s a reason Sabrina Bryan got eliminated early during her first stint on Dancing With the Stars, and there’s a reason she got eliminated early as an all-star. In short, she just isn’t likable. Her personality comes off as dull, and if the audience doesn’t connect, you’re done. Just ask Kirstie Alley, whose likablility far surpasses her talent. You just can’t buy charisma. And furthermore, the crying during her last performance was a little too schmaltzy for my taste. But then again — my heart is made of stone. Watch the elimination below.
Letterman Broadcasts During Hurricane Sandy — The Show Must Go On
When I think of New York, I think of David Letterman. So it only makes sense that he’d give us some entertainment during a terrible time. Plus, if you’re going to listen to ridiculous reporters blowing in the wind when they should be huddled up in their houses, then it’s nice to have an uplifting alternative. Hats off, Letterman. My love for you has exponentially increased. Watch his “monologue” delivered from his desk. It sure is odd without an audience, but he’s seasoned enough to make it work.
Daniel Bedingfield Releases Secret Fear Video — A Naked Metropolis
Daniel Bedingfield released his new “Secret Fear” video, and it’s clear he’s propositioning me. After all, everyone knows The Dishmaster requires excessive nudity to be won over, and Bedingfield certainly made an enticing case for himself. In fact, the man declared his insatiable desire to be perpetually naked during our interview, but I didn’t take him seriously until he spun in water sans clothes while canoodling with very hot boobies. Plus, the video is a nice reminder that our first loves are put on this planet to drown us — literally and figuratively. Watch below.
Tabloid Gossip — Weekend Rundown — The News in Brief
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- Lindsay Lohan’s publicist quit. New York Daily News
- Another member of NSYNC is off the market. People
- Taylor Swift is single again. E! Online
- Ashley Greene is on the market. Opposing Views
- Jennie Garth is a dating diva. ICYDK
- Adam Levine debuted his new model girlfriend. AOL
- Katy Perry and John Mayer have loud sex. Digital Spy
- Whitney Houston’s daughter is against incest. Wonderwall
- Jason Segel & Michelle Williams moved in together. The Gossip Girls
- Chris Brown might have impregnated his ex before dumping her for Rihanna. The Superficial
- Jessica Simpson’s father might be a homosexual. Radar Online
- Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez broke up. Los Angeles Times
- Brian Austin Green lost his lawsuit against Vanessa Marcil/his baby mamma. Daily Mail
- Steven Spielberg reconciled with his dad. The Wrap
- Russell Crowe is getting divorced. Huffington Post
- James Franco has a new girlfriend. Just Jared
- Another couple from The Bachelor bit the dust. Wet Paint
- Jesse James is dating a rich drag racer. Tabloid Column
Did You Know — Homeland’s Saul is Inigo Montoya
We all remember the infamous line from ‘The Princess Bride’: “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” We also all know Saul from Homeland, the supportive foil and rock for Carrie’s character (played by Claire Danes) at the Central Intelligence Agency. What you don’t know — is they are the same guy! I’m astounded. Good job, Mandy Patinkin. You are certainly a character chameleon.
Barbara Walters to Donald Trump: “You’re Making a Fool of Yourself”
There are a plethora of reasons that I have unconditional love for Barbara Walters, and you can see just one of them in the video below. Though she and Donald Trump are friends, she took the time to publicly scold him for his ridiculous Obama “announcement.” When the queen speaks, Donald should listen. Watch below.