Audrina Patridge’s New Show — A Poor Man’s Version of ‘The Hills’

Judging from the clip below, Audrina’s new show looks like another peak into the boring lives of depth-less television stars. My patience for reality television is seriously waning (with the exception of Jersey Shore, of course). In the video below, Audrina’s mother apologizes for her drunken rant on Dancing With the Stars, and Audrina completely blows it off and says she doesn’t care what other people think. I’m no expert on alcohol so I might be wrong on this, but her mother looks drunk in the clip, which is ironic because she’s apologizing for her drunken behavior. Am I to seriously believe that Audrina is completely fine with her mother’s actions, and they’re one big happy family? All signs point to no, and unless they plan on taping some kind of intervention for what appears to be alcoholism, I don’t believe a second of that video. Again, I have absolutely no idea if her mother has a drinking problem, but I’m almost certain that this is faux reality hogwash.

Naturally Blond Actresses that Go Brown — Who Are They?

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again — the prettiest brunette will always be prettier than the prettiest blond. Am I biased? — Sure, but I’m the Dishmaster, and I’ll be biased if I want. To prove my point, I’ve compiled a list of actresses that were born blond, but decided to die their hair brown instead. Why? — Because they look better, of course. Enjoy!

SOFIA VERGARA — People often ask me who my girl crushes are, and Sofia is at the top of my list. She’s beautiful with a twist of sass. She confessed that she had trouble getting roles when she moved to the United States from Columbia, and she blamed it on her blond hair.  Once she went brown, she began to book jobs, and the rest is history.

LEIGHTON MEESTER — Just to contradict myself, I’ll admit that Leighton Meester actually looks better as a blond. She died her hair for Gossip Girl, presumably because the producers already had the blond Blake Lively to play Serena, and they saw Leighton’s character as a brunette. She actually died her hair before the audition. I’m posting two pictures of her below, so that you can see the difference and judge for yourself.

JULIA ROBERTS — For much of Julia Roberts’ career I’ve wondered if she was a natural red-head or brunette. It turns out she’s neither. Her natural hair color is actually dirty blond, but she prefers to keep it brown. Personally, I’d like her to keep her red Pretty Woman hair forever, but I don’t suppose she wants to be play the same part for the rest of her life.

AUDRINA PATRIDGE — When I watched Audrina on The Hills, I noticed something strange about her appearance. She didn’t quite look right, and when my friend told me she’s a natural blond, it clicked. Like Leighton, she looks better as a blond. It’s a shame too, because I so badly wanted this post to be about how brunettes rule the world. But you can’t have everything, I guess. To see her with blond hair, click here.

ASHLEE SIMPSON — When Ashlee first broke into the business, she tried very hard to separate herself from Jessica Simpson. That included dying her hair brown, and dressing like a grunge rocker. It didn’t quite work, and she has since changed her image about 500 times. She recently went back to blond, so I’ve posted her with both hair colors. See what you think.

In closing, I’d like to confess that I took some liberties with the word “actress” in the title of this post.  Please forgive me.

Audrina Patridge Eliminated Early From DWTS — I Blame Tony Dovolani

Every single time someone prematurely gets eliminated from a television competition, people speculate that viewers assumed the contestant would be safe, and therefore didn’t vote.  This conspiracy theory includes Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani, who were eliminated from Dancing With the Stars, despite Audrina’s very obvious talent as a dancer.  So what’s the real reason she was eliminated?  Well, it isn’t just about talent alone, and I’m surprised I have to explain this after so many seasons of the show.  It’s about the personality of both the professional dancer and the celebrity, and without a strong combination, they’re doomed.  There’s a reason that the same professionals win every year, and it isn’t luck.  On Monday’s show, Tony Dovolani further confirmed his disdain for the judges, and I think it was enough to piss off the voting public.  When the judges told Audrina that she “lacked passion” on her face, Tony said that he knew the judges missed it, but he’s certain the viewers at home saw it and will vote for him.  Big mistake.  Don’t insult the judges.  Neither Tony nor Maksim Chmerkovskiy have won Dancing With the Stars, and both of them have a history of talking back to the judges.  America wants to see that you are deserving of the trophy, which includes being able to accept criticism.  Until then — you’ll continue to lose — no matter how talented your partner.

audrina2 7 @ Yahoo! Video