Kanye West Rants to Ryan Seacrest — He Still Doesn’t Get It

Kanye WestAt some point in our lives, we’ve all had moments in time when we’re free of the world’s restraints. Then suddenly, after skipping through the clouds impervious to criticism, we put on our jeans and realize they no longer fit. Soon enough — Kanye West’s jeans will no longer fit, and he’ll be too bloated to recover. Sure he can get away with his prophetic proclamations and narcissistic rants now, but before he knows it, the public will flee.

And if you’re curious what inspired my musings, you need only listen to the interview below, in which West once again gives himself unconditional accolades, followed by the canned laughter from the sycophantic Seacrest. The most startling part of the interview is West’s recap of the Taylor Swift incident, and his insistence that his own daughter would have agreed with the idea that Beyonce’s video was superior. It’s absolutely astounding that this guy still doesn’t get it, but I’ll summarize this once again for sport. The issue is not who had the better video. The issue is that you pounced on a young girl’s moment to scream for an arbitrary injustice. And the massive irony is that West himself cannot accept criticism on any level, and yet he felt free to fire it out with ease. Perhaps the reason his creativity is no longer commissioned by high-level designers has more to do with his personality than his abilities. And while that might seem like a grave injustice by the standards of Kanye West, I’ll close with a very annoying yet appropriate statement that my father used to say to me at a young age. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

Justin Timberlake Makes Out With Riley Keough — WATCH TKO NOW

Justin Timberlake is a genius. The guy commissions one of the hottest chicks he can find and incorporates a very sultry scene in his video. After all, if you’re also married to one of the hottest chicks on the planet, you might as well make it a double. Besides, who’s counting? Watch his new TKO video with Riley Keough.

Derek Hough & Amber Riley Perform the Pasodoble — WATCH NOW

It’s almost cartoonish how far superior Derek Hough is to the rest of the professional dancers, and that includes his choreography. In fact, I wonder if his skills are almost distracting to the performance, given that I can’t take my eyes off of him. Watch him and Amber Riley perform the Pasodoble below.

Tabloid Gossip — A Full Week of Media Madness

  • Christina Ricci got married. WetPaint
  • Bruce Jenner wasn’t invited to Kim Kardashian’s engagement. DListed
  • Katherine McPhee is embarrassed she got caught cheating. ICYDK
  • Jersey Shore’s Pauly D is having baby mamma drama. LATimes
  • Kelly Clarkson got married. MTV
  • Kendra Wilkinson has a family feud. RumorFix
  • Lily Collins and Zac Efron are dating. Just Jared
  • Olivia Wilde & Jason Sudeikis are pregnant. PopSugar
  • Orlando Bloom & Miranda Kerr separated. CNN
  • Chris Brown got arrested. TMZ
  • 7TH Heaven isn’t so glorious after all. TMZ

‘The Counselor’ — A Full Review

20131025-103515.jpgWhen you eliminate the back-story behind your characters, you also eliminate my investment in their journey. The lines between the good guys and the bad guys become blurred, and the performances suddenly become irrelevant. It’s a shame too, because this film was certainly saturated with powerful performances.

Directed by Ridley Scott and written by Cormac McCarthy (No Country For Old Men), The Counselor follows a lawyer (Michael Fassbender) who, in a bid for big bucks, engages in a drug deal with the very shady Reiner (Javier Barden) and Westray (Brad Pitt). Things predictably go awry, and some very dark drama ensues.

Though I’d call this a visually artistic masterpiece, that’s not enough to rescue it. In film school, there’s a cardinal rule that every scene in a movie should propel the plot forward. I thought of that while watching The Counselor, and then quickly realized that there’s no plot to propel. There’s no indication about why Fassbender’s character chose to engage in this drug deal, and because his cronies are also vapid villains, there’s also no suspense associated with their safety. Do I care about the life of a seemingly evil group of people who I know nothing about? Does it matter if their lives are destroyed? The only saving grace is Penelope Cruz’s character, but much like the others, I found myself judging a woman who would be with such a creepy guy without any suspicion.

OVERALL RATING: 2.5/5 DISHES

Billie Joe Armstrong Duets With Norah Jones — ‘Long Time Gone’

This is a pairing I never saw coming. Listen to Norah Jones and Billie Joe Armstrong sing, ‘Long Time Gone.’ They’re putting forth an entire album of Everly Brothers covers, which I’m eagerly anticipating. Though it’s a rather odd creative choice, I put full trust in Armstrong, who’s a genius at navigating his career moves. Listen below.

Edward Norton to Host Saturday Night Live — WATCH A PROMO

In a move The Dishmaster never saw coming, the notoriously humorless Edward Norton will be hosting Saturday Night Live on October 26th, with special guest Janelle Monae. I’m actually elated by the decision, and I think it’s an incredibly strategic career move for Norton, who I predict will do well. It’s always the serious ones who surprise you.

Watch a promo for his appearance below.