I don’t think the video below is very funny. In fact, I think Chelsea Handler’s side-show, ‘After Lately’, is altogether humorless. That being said, Dave Grohl is incredibly hot, and I therefore have no other choice but to post it. Please watch and then envision The Dishmaster and Grohl living happily ever after. After all, we manifest our destinies, right?
Category: General
Cee Lo Green Butchers John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ — Defends Himself
If you’re going to cover a song, then cover the song. Sure it’s fine to change the melody, but only an egocentric nut would take one of the most famous songs ever written and completely change its meaning by altering the lyrics. Cee Lo Green sang John Lennon’s Imagine on New Year’s Eve and he changed “Nothing to kill or die for, And no religion too” to “Nothing to kill or die for, And all religion’s true.” When asked about the controversy, Green said that his choice was “done out of love and out of peace and unity and tolerance and acceptance and all those many wonderful things that seem cliche and a little bit cheesy. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” It’s always the angry dudes that preach “peace and unity.” Only someone with internal rage would mess with John Lennon lyrics.
Quote of the Day — Jimmy Buffet on His Stage Fall
“I’m healed up from my fabulous stage drive in Australia. To dispel a few rumors, I wasn’t drunk and there wasn’t a beautiful girl in the audience that caused me to walk off. When I woke up I said, “Was it a heart attack or a stroke?” I was very happy when they said, “No, you had a concussion. You just walked off the stage like a Miss America contestant.” Weirdly, my tennis game got better afterward.” Jimmy Buffet, on his well-publicized stage fall during his Sydney concert.
Howard Stern Drunk Dials Twitter Fans on New Years
The art of Howard Stern’s genius is that his ideas are simple yet brilliant. His latest ground-breaking adventure involved calling his twitter fans on New Years, telling them he and his wife are drunk-dialing and asking for phone numbers. And according to some tweets, Stern followed through. Too bad I was out of the country and missed the opportunity. Here’s hoping he makes house calls next.
Tabloid Gossip — Dish-A-Licious
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- Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are engaged. Us Magazine
- Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry. MTV
- Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger might reconcile. TMZ
- High School Musical star, Ashley Tisdale, is dating Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriend, Martin Johnson. Perez Hilton
- Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler is engaged to Erin Brady. Rumor has it his family isn’t pleased. Astrochicks
- Paris Hilton is still alive . . and topless. NY Daily News
- Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rime’s ex-wife (yes, I wrote it that way on purpose), Brandi Glanville, had a quickie marriage in Vegas. MSNBC
- Jennifer Lopez’s new boy-toy, Casper Smart, got probation for drag racing. Gossip Cop
- Adele has a new man in her life. The Sun
- Kanye West’s ex girlfriend, Amber Rose, called Kim Kardashian a home-wrecker, accusing the reality star of cheating on Reggie Bush with West while she was still in a relationship with the singer. Radar Online
- The Kardashians might launch a glossy magazine with exclusive Kardashian content. Talk about over-exposure. NY Post
- Aretha Franklin is engaged. Los Angeles Times
- Is Halle Berry engaged to Olivier Martinez? IMDB
The Dishmaster Returns! – Happy New Year!
Fear not, loyal readers! The Dishmaster is back from vacation and as promised, I received just the right amount of rest and relaxation to rejuvenate my dishing skills. May 2012 be about letting the past go to embrace the future. And when all else fails — have a laugh. Don’t be too concerned about my new found positivity though — I’m still pretty cranky. Hooray for the new year! And if you’re feeling extra creative, please share your favorite vacation pictures with me. Can you beat my iguana?
Happy Holidays — The Dishmaster is On Vacation
In an effort to restore what’s left of my sanity, I am taking the holidays off from all things gossip and technology. It’s time for some family lovin’ and some adventure seeking in a far off land. I will return in full form after the new year. To all my loyal readers — please take this time to enjoy your holidays, and thank you for your continued support. I couldn’t do this without your positive encouragement. I’ll see you in 2012!
Will Nicole Scherzinger & Steve Jones Leave X Factor? — Fired?
Most television shows go through major changes after season one, and I predict that X Factor will be no exception. When recently asked about her return, Scherzinger prepped for the potential public relations cleanup, saying it’s more difficult than she expected to publicly reject people. Translation? — She fears she’ll get fired and she’s planting the seeds to make people think she quit. As for Steve Jones, he will likely get the boot as well, given the enormous amount of negative criticism he’s received. Apparently, Jones was only hired as a last minute replacement for Corbin Bleu, because Scherzinger refused to work with him, and the network therefore had to scramble for a new co-host. They chose Jones because of his chemistry with Scherzinger, but when Scherzinger replaced Cheryl Cole as a judge, the reason for Jones’ hiring became moot. The truth is, neither Scherzinger nor Jones will know about their status with the show until “pick-up letters” are sent out for the new season. If no such letter arrives, then they get the axe. Until then, only the network executives know the plan. I suggest firing Scherzinger and Jones, leaving the judging panel at three, and then hiring Brian Dunkleman as the new co-host (okay, that last part is a joke . . . sort of).
Quote of the Day — David Cross Hates the Chipmunks
“This last film was literally, without question, the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had in my professional life. It’s safe to say I won’t be working with some of those people ever again. Not the actors. And the director [Mike Mitchell] was great. We got along. There were a couple of people, though…it was just a really awful, unpleasant experience.” Arrested Development star, David Cross, on his recent experience filming Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked.
Kourtney Kardashian Insults Judaism — Bigoted?
The latest episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York made my blood boil. In case you’re wondering, The Dishmaster is Jewish. You can therefore imagine my rage when I discovered that most of episode four was dedicated to Scott Disick rediscovering his Judaism, which included many offensive remarks from Kourtney Kardashian, most notably referring to his religion as a “phase” and a “fad” and challenging his dedication by quizzing him on the Old Testament. Did I mention she poked fun at his Yarmulke? I not only blame Kourtney Kardashian for her disgusting remarks, but I also blame E!, given that most reality is scripted, and the producers likely predicted this would garner some kind of comic relief. Needless to say, I didn’t find it funny. Watch the entire video below.