Madonna gets a lot of respect and rightfully so. But part of that respect comes with the idea that she writes her own music. The truth? Some of her biggest hits were written by others. That includes, Borderline, Like a Virgin, Dress You Up, Holiday, Papa Don’t Preach and Material Girl. As for her other popular songs, she “co-wrote” them, which could mean a million different things. Many artists today take someone else’s song, tweak a line or two, and then attach their name to get song-writing credit. I’m not suggesting that Madonna does this, but this post does provide an opportunity to expose the process. Beyonce, for example, is one of the biggest culprits. On her album, I am . . . Sasha Fierce, she “wrote” the song Smash Into You, with Tricky Stewart and The Dream. The song was originaly entitled, Smack Into You, and it appeared on Jon McLaughlin’s album prior to Beyonce “writing it.” The two versions are completely identical, yet Beyonce somehow received songwriting credit. Another very famous example is Paul Anka, whose song, Toot Sweet, was used as the theme for Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. Anka was told that Carson wanted his song for the theme, but he would only agree if Carson was given song-writing credit. According to Anka, he accepted the offer because it was better to get 50% of something, than 100% of nothing. To hear the Beyonce song comparison, listen to the two songs below.
Category: Music
Did Rihanna Rip-Off Pink’s Unitard?
I saw a recent picture from Rihanna’s concert, and I noticed that her unitard strangely resembles the often-seen unitard worn by Pink during her concerts. If you’ve paid attention to Pink’s tour, you would recognize the bandaid-style get-up from her ludicrous trapeze performances, where she fancies herself a pint-size contortionist from Cirque Du Soleil, and basically risks her life while singing upside down. Aside from my objection to the life-risk, if the girl is going to hang upside down, she might as well do it in a unique costume. So do all unitards look alike, or did Rihanna’s designer make a copy-cat blunder? I’m not quite sure. Perhaps it was “inspired?” See the pictures below and judge for yourself.
Lea Michele Loves her Jewish Nose — She’s My Hero
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I’d like to officially welcome Lea Michele into my big-schnoz Jew club. You only gain admittance if you like your shnoz, so I’m honored to grant her membership. You might remember that I recently picked on Lea for her drastic weight loss, but after her recent quote, all is forgotten. Lea told Us Weekly that she has no desire for a ridiculous, button-nose, as she’s always been proud of her “Jewish nose.” In an industry where many actors have nose jobs, I find her attitude refreshing — plus, she’s gorgeous. Maybe this is the beginning of a movement. This also provides a perfect opportunity for me to feature women in the industry that have copped to nose jobs. Enjoy!
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Lisa Kudrow admitted to Allure magazine that she had nose surgery at 16 to correct her “hook nose.” Kudrow was raised Jewish, and looked much different before entering the Hollywood beauty salon. To see a picture of what she used to look like, click here.
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Like Lisa Kudrow, Dirty Dancing’s Jennifer Grey is a Jewish girl with a nose job. Grey attributes her career downswing to her “nose job from hell,” which she thinks left her unrecognizable. Unlike Kudrow, Grey got her nose job after having already made it in the industry, which was likely the problem. I’m not sure I would agree that the nose job alone is responsible for her career problems. Many actors only have two or three big roles in their career. Go easy on yourself Grey.
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Ashley Tisdale should have had a sit-down with Jennifer Grey before getting her nose job. She already had an adorable nose, but for some reason craved the infamous and reprehensible button-nose. She later blamed it on a deviated septum, but it became immediately clear that it was a cosmetic procedure. To see a before and after, click here.
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Ashlee Simpson makes my list, because her nose job was so drastic. Though she never fully confessed it, the transformation is so obvious, I call it an “implied admission.” Prior to her nose job, she went on the record saying how much she loved her nose, and was fine not looking like everyone else. I guess that didn’t last long. Let’s hope that unlike Simpson, Lea Michele is telling the truth when she says she loves her nose. To see a before and after of Simpson, click here.
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The Biggest Loser’s Jillian Michaels is on my nose job shit-list. Not only did she admit to having one, but she said it was a great thing for her to do. Shes feels “much better about herself” now. Good job, Jillian. I’m glad plastic surgery solved your insecurity — I think everyone should do it.
Jennifer Lopez and American Idol — What Really Happened
First she’s in, then she’s out, and now she’s back in? There is a lot of press drama surrounding Jennifer Lopez as a potential judge on American Idol — and here’s my take on the behind-the-scenes of what has really gone down. When word leaked that Lopez would be a judge, she had not yet signed her contract. The folks over at Idol figured that it was nearly a done deal, but insisted to the public that nothing was final until she signed on the dotted line. Well, they certainly knew what they were talking about. Before Lopez signed, it became clear through press leaks that her demands got out of control, and they were simply done with negotiations. Why announce this publicly? As a negotiating ploy, of course. Fox wants to let Lopez know that they can play hard-ball too, and the best way to do that is to call her bluff with a public announcement that the negotiation fell through. Lopez probably got wise, and had her people return to battle. Now, they are back to the drawing board, and once again awaiting her to sign her deal. How long will this take, and will she actually make any concessions? I predict she’ll sign, because artists no longer have the kind of leverage they once had in the industry, or she’ll learn a lesson the hard-way. And by “hard-way,” I mean lose her chance at staying relevant for a couple more minutes.
Jennifer Lopez on American Idol — Career Suicide?
When I heard Jennifer Lopez was joining the American Idol judging table, my furrowed brow caused a permanent dent in my forehead. What on earth is she thinking? I know that American Idol has gained some serious respect and big names over the years, but judging a reality competition is where a star goes to die. It is only good to launch an unknown’s career, but for someone that is already famous, it’s inevitably a step backward. When Paula joined, she was a well-liked has-been that people wanted to see in front of the camera again. She won a Grammy during her once-upon-a-time success, and was lovable train-wreck. But Jennifer Lopez is still too relevant to make this move. Deadline reports that her career is actually in the toilet, so she was courting American Idol for the opportunity. Her recent film, The Back-Up Plan, tanked at the Box Office, and her record label dropped her. So perhaps she isn’t as relevant as I like to think she is, and this is the boost she needs. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.
American Idol Rumor — Nigel Lythgoe to Return?
There’s only one thing that can save American Idol, and it’s Nigel Lythgoe. Rumor has it that the folks over at Idol are getting him back as a producer. Since leaving , the show has taken a serious turn for the worse, and Lythgoe plans to rescue it by wiping out the current judging panel altogether. That means he’ll likely have to pay off Randy Jackson, who is said to still be under contract. Kara DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres were probably only signed for a year, so good riddance! The names currently floating around include: Jessica Simpson, Justin Timberlake, and Elton John. The only person that excites me about that panel is Jessica Simpson. Though she profusely annoys me, she’ll certainly bring the Paula factor back. Plus, she’s pretty to look at. I give a big no to Elton John and Justin Timberlake. Timberlake is still too relevant for the show, and Elton John was a terrible mentor when he appeared years ago. Just because you’re a successful musician, doesn’t mean you make for good television.
Taylor Swift’s First Solo Album — Can She Hack it?
For some reason, most people I talk to think that Taylor Swift wrote every song on her first two albums. The truth is, many of her most successful songs were co-written with country music songwriter Liz Rose. In fact, two songs from the Swift/Rose collaboration, White Horse, and You Belong With Me, earned Grammys. So why forgo the collaboration on her next album, entitled Speak Now? According to Swift, she didn’t have co-writers because she would get her “best ideas at 3 am in Arkansas when [she] didn’t have any co-writers around, so [she] would just finish it. It just so happened that the songs that made the cut on the album were the ones [she] wrote [her]self.” Artists often write too many songs for their album, and the choice about what songs “make the cut” comes down to last minute decisions. It sounds like Swift did have co-writers on her latest album, but favored her solo songs. I wonder if having an adult as a co-writer helped even-out the excessive teenage angst in Swift’s songs. Will she be relatable to the masses without someone older as a balance?
My Pick of American Idol Judges
There has been a lot of talk about the next American Idol judges, and most of the suggestions so far seem almost as ridiculous as the current judging panel. So here’s my choice for the new panel — Tommy Mottola, Katy Perry, and Harry Connick Jr. I chose Katy Perry because she has the credentials, and she’s very pretty eye-candy. When she appeared on the show as a guest judge, she was not afraid to speak her mind (speak, not slur), and she often looked like she wanted to kill Kara DioGuardi (which made me very happy). Harry Connick Jr. is my next choice, because he proved himself while serving as a mentor on the show. Unlike other mentors, he didn’t wear sunglasses while offering boring platitudes such as, “feel the music” (hear that Usher?). He also seemed to have a music vocabulary beyond the word “pitchy.” Lastly, I chose Tommy Mottola because he’s like the Wizard. His resume speaks for itself, but he would also bring the controversy. Can you imagine how many interviewers would ask Mariah Carey if she tunes into American Idol to watch Mottola? So there you have it. Everyone should take The Dishmaster’s suggeestion, and stop throwing around ridiculous names.
Christina Aguilera’s ‘Bionic’ — What Went Wrong
Christina’s Aguillera’s comeback album, Bionic, tanked in record sales, and the folks over at RCA think it has something to do with her not-so-relatable image. I would agree. Since entering the industry, Aguilera has always suffered from a major identity crisis. She started as a pop-tart-replica of Britney Spears, and then bashed the comparisons. After she got some footing in the industry, she went the complete opposite route, and released a very “dirty” album, which involved Aguilera’s near naked performances in chaps and mud (and a very entertaining Sarah Michelle Gellar SNL skit making fun of her). On that same album, she also had ballads which showed her vocal prowess but confused listeners. Is she supposed to be a trash-tastic Celine Dion? — I wondered at the time. She then cleaned off her image a bit, and started to insanely over-sing, to the point where she obliterated the melody of every single song. She had something to prove, and in the process, I became incredibly bored with the indulgent need to show-off. Now, years later, she changed course again. The Bionic album is the polar opposite of over-singing. It has a fun, dance vibe, and it’s nice to listen to in the shower. So why did it tank? Is it because other people enjoy the over-signing, and I am the minority? Is it because I’m wrong and the album is bad? Personally, I think it tanked because no one has any idea who Christina Aguilera is anymore, and we are all exhausted. Her identity crisis is responsible for the comparisons to other artists (such as Lady Gaga) — a comparison that she deplores. So here’s my advice — get with some people that can help tailor your image, don’t over-sing, and don’t release angry statements to the press about how you hate being compared to Lady Gaga.
Did Katy Perry Rip-Off Ke$ha?
Katy Perry’s song, California Gurls, sounds a lot like Ke$ha’s Tik Tok, and there’s a very clear reason for that. Both songs are produced by Dr. Luke and co-written by Benny Blanco. Top artists often use the same producers and song-writers, and overlaps are bound to occur. You might remember this same thing happening with Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce. Unlike Kelly Clarkson; however, Katy Perry gets it, and has yet to release a statement bashing her team. In case you missed the Clarkson tirade that I am referring to, she was pissed because Beyonce’s song, Halo, sounded too much like her single, Already Gone. Both songs were written by OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder, and instead of understanding the inevitable similarities, Clarkson bashed Tedder in the press, saying that Tedder is responsible for people thinking that she ripped-off Beyonce, and that she wanted to remove the track altogether, but her label would not allow it. Tedder was furious with her tongue lashing, and subsequently said that the idea that he would try to dupe Beyonce and Clarkson into singing the same track is both “hurtful and absurd.” As for Beyonce, she never made a statement on the matter. Listen to the Tick Tok/California Gurls mash-up below.