Television – Page 17 – The Dishmaster

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Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are engaged. Pop Bytes

Mary Kate Olsen is marrying a much older man. Us Magazine

John Mayer and Katy Perry split. Ear Sucker

Robin Thicke is publicly trying to get Paula Patton back. Pop Sugar

The Ballroom’s favorite bad boy is back on Dancing With the Stars. Wet Paint

Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles called it quits. Reality TV World.

Piers Morgan got the axe. NYDN

Someone wrote a very funny summary of Alec Baldwin’s latest rant. The Wire

‘Girls’ star Alison Williams is tying the knot. People

Gwen Stefani has an official party of five. The Hollywood Gossip

Scarlett Johansson brought her fiance out to play. Pop Eater

Drake’s reps dropped him after the Rolling Stone fiasco. NYP

Chris Brown + Rihanna: Round 2,124. Radar Online

Heidi Klum has a new boy toy. E! Online

Kristin Wiig Impersonates Harry Styles on Fallon — WATCH NOW

Though Jimmy Fallon might lack Jay Leno’s monologue mastery, he’s certainly superior in the sketch department. As a Saturday Night Live alum, Fallon knows how to keep it fresh, often asking his former cast mates for creative appearances on his show. Kristen Wiig captured the night with a horrible Harry Styles impression, which was so confusingly bad it was good. Click below to see Wiig chuck the English accent in favor of her own. Plus, she “sang.” Enjoy!

http://hulu.com/w/I8GC

Girls’ Episode 3.07 — TEENIE WEENIE GREEN BIKINI

Lena Dunham is taunting me. When asked about her excessive on-air nudity by a journalist at the Television Critics Association , Dunham’s defense was, “It’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it. If you’re not into me, that’s your problem, and you’re going to have to kind of work that out with whatever professionals you’ve hired.”

In episode seven of season three, Dunham spent most of time in a far-too-small tiny bikini, which was worn while strutting around on open streets, at house parties, and during fights with her friends (none of which involved a throw). In fact, there are moments where the camera seems to be deliberately placed in the most unflattering angles possible.

As for Dunham’s insistence that this is a “realistic expression,” I must strongly object. Based on personal beach experience, nearly every girl I know has a throw, and those girls often ask the chicks beside them if their cellulite seems noticeable under the sun. To take it a step further, many of my friends and fellow beach goers wait until they are completely flat on the sand in the most flattering position possible before disrobing. This behavior has empirically applied to about 75% of all women I’ve come in contact with throughout my life, no matter what their shape or size. While that might be a sad and pathetic revelation, it’s a REALISTIC revelation. Lena Dunham’s fierce self-confidence is extremely admirable, trail-blazing, trend-setting, and praiseworthy. But it’s NOT realistic.

Dancing With the Stars Sacks the Band

Season 18 of Dancing With the Stars will have a few surprises, most notably the loss of Harold Wheeler and his live orchestra and musicians. In what I can only assuming is a cost-cutting measure, ABC and BBC Worldwide Productions sacked their players. In a carefully choreographed statement, the powers that be released a statement, saying, “Our talented Music Director, Harold Wheeler, will not be joining us for Season 18 of Dancing with the Stars. Since season one, Harold and his band have performed brilliant music in our ballroom for our dancers and the American viewers at home. We are grateful to him and his band for their amazing work and years of collaboration. We wish him the best of luck.”

It’s previously been reported that since most music is so overly-produced, it’s impossible to create a live performance of many well known hits. Translation? Music today is awful, no one sings live, and instead of attempting to uphold artistic integrity, we’re going to fold, save money, and kick out our talented team. Goodbye Dancing With the Stars. This is the beginning of the end.

Super Bowl Shocker: Red Hot Chili Peppers Played Air Guitar?

Just when you thought the state of the music industry couldn’t get any more absurd, Flea confessed to miming the rock group’s Super Bowl performance to a pre-recorded track. According to flea, he “Understand[s] the NFL’s stance on this, given they only have a few minutes to set up the stage, there a zillion things that could go wrong and ruin the sound for the folks watching in the stadium and the [television] viewers. There was not any room for argument on this, the NFL does not want to risk their show being botched by bad sound, period,” He also insists the vocals were live. As for my personal stance, I think the entire thing is more than ridiculous. I realize it’s a huge event, but figure it the f*ck out. I don’t blame the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I blame America. The culture of music has become so used to pre-recorded perfection we’ve lowered our tolerance for mistakes. Watch below to see Flea play air guitar.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/04/showbiz/super-bowl-red-hot-chili-peppers/

Wendy Williams has on-air Meltdown: Cries About Son

Tim Gunn once said that if you stay too long in the monkey house, eventually you will stop smelling the shit. Such is the case for Wendy Williams, who is in need of a serious spa day to unwind outside the Hollywood insanity. Williams cried on the air about her teenage son who she feels hates her. It’s unclear in what world Williams think it’s appropriate to openly air her dirty laundry on national television, but perhaps she learned a thing or two from those ridiculous reality stars she often features on her show. Watch below.

Kate Gosselin’s Girls Gab on ‘The View’

Kate Gosselin visited The View for another interview with her older twins, and the girls finally opened up, much to the relief of their matriarch, who’s desperate to prove her kids aren’t damaged from their years on reality television. While I have no way of knowing how the constant cameras affected their upbringing, one thing is clear: the ladies of The View did a much better job than Savannah Guthrie, whose attempt to treat the tots like grownups backfired. As for Kate, I’m not sure this teen tour will make her anymore likeable, but it certainly helps. I still maintain that children on reality television should be just as legally protected as children on scripted television, but with the huge influx of this genre, I seriously doubt that movement will gain traction. Watch below to see Gosselin on ‘The View.’

Lena Dunham Covers Vogue — Explains Nudity

You can put a pretty bow on your controversial choices with a stock-house explanation, but that doesn’t make it any less questionable. ‘Girls’ Executive Producer and Writer, Lena Dunham covered Vogue, and she explained her decision to bare all for the HBO series, saying, “It’s a complicated thing. I want people ultimately, even if they’re disturbed by certain moments, to feel bolstered and normalized by the sex that’s on the show.” She also added that, “Seeing somebody who looks like you having sex on television is a less comfortable experience than seeing somebody who looks like nobody you’ve ever met.” While I understand the argument, I must still lay into it’s lunacy.

I’ve followed ‘Girls’ since it’s debut, and the excessive nudity has almost pushed me to flee the show. I never questioned Samantha Jones’ nudity, because it made sense for the character. Kim Cattrall’s promiscuous Sex and the City character broke down barriers for women. It put our gender on par with men, who are socially allowed to sexually misbehave, while women are not. Her nudity was also appropriately played into each scene, and the artistic blend kept me immersed in the story. Unlike ‘Sex and the City,’ it’s as if Lena Dunham is proving a point at the expense of the scene. Sure it’s possible that she adequately represents “real life,” but if I wanted my television to be that real, I’d watch a documentary. There’s a delicate dance between art and reality, but the former is just fine with me.

WHAT THE DUCK?! A&E, Duck Dynasty & the First Amendment.

To further explain why Phil Robertson’s suspension from A&E is NOT a First Amendment violation, I commissioned my lawyer-friend Rik Sault, to deliver the dirty details. Enjoy the article below.

A&E indefinitely suspended Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson for sharing his views on homosexuality in the January 2014 issue of GQ. Phil cited the bible, saying that homosexuality is immoral and even likened it to bestiality and terrorism (oh boy!). Though it’s not surprising that Phil holds such a view, it is surprising how quickly this issue blew up. Social conservatives and select Christian groups have come to Phil’s defense, outraged that he is suspended for simply expressing his faith and beliefs. There’s even a website and petition, IStandWithPhil, which calls for A&E to reinstate him. And now, a 2010 video “sermon” given by Phil has resurfaced. In this sermon, he rambles about “gross sexual immorality” and perversions such as “women with women, men with men.”

As my good friend The Dishmaster was quick to point out, this is NOT a First Amendment issue, despite of what social conservatives would have you believe. Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal said, “I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment.” It is ludicrous to cite the First Amendment here. Although government employees have limited First Amendment protection for their private speech, PRIVATE employees do not. There is simply no First Amendment protection when a private employer fires you for your speech. Phil is free to express whatever extreme religious and social views that he may hold without fear of legitimate government intervention, but A&E can certainly control which public figures it chooses to put on the air. Jindal’s recollection of a time when “TV networks believed in the First Amendment” is wildly misleading. I’m sure A&E believes in the First Amendment. I’d dare say that its choice to suspend Phil is an exercise of its free speech rights. Also, let’s not forget about partisan news outlets: if a Fox News pundit told a major magazine like GQ that he or she lauded the reforms of Obamacare and called for increased funding for food stamps, that pundit would likely lose his job. Furthermore, cable television Stars are accountable to the channel and A&E is accountable not only to its viewers, but also to its advertisers. According to one crisis communications expert, “few advertisers will risk supporting Duck Dynasty because of [Phil’s] devastating remarks and renewed focus on a show that invites ridicule of stereotypical rural families.” A&E’s only failure is its inability to wrangle its stars. This never should have happened.

The Demise of Duck Dynasty — Should A&E Issue a Quackdown?

The most popular reality show on television just got a severe dose of reality, and many in the right-wing media are crying fowl. For those that missed it, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson made some anti-homosexual comments to GQ, and has since been suspended by the network. His family has flocked together, claiming if Phil Robertson goes, they all go. Though the public is quick to scream about the First Amendment, that claim is more romantic than real. All of us law school grads know this is not a First Amendment violation, and though I’d love to give you a legal rundown — just trust me — it’s faster. As for the morality behind the mayhem, despite my support of the gay community, I stand against the suspension.

This is a reality show, and it’s important for everyone everywhere to fully understand the public’s views to affect change. If we simply erase history or put aside the present, we won’t grow. Phil Robertson’s comments opened up a much larger debate, and that conversation has forced people into a well-valued dialogue. Shunning never earned anyone anything except the very cool catchphrase, “Talk to the Hand.” And even that has become dated.