Glee creator Ryan Murphy, recently complained that the gay characters on Modern Family don’t kiss on the show, calling it “archaic and and outdated.” So what happened? You guessed it — they are going to kiss. Though Modern Family co-creator Steve Levitan insists that the kiss has nothing to do with Murphy’s comments, I’m absolutely positive it is the exclusive reason for the choice. I’m guessing that because Eric Stonestreet is straight in real life, he probably doesn’t feel comfortable consistently kissing his co-star, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. As a result, the writers have yet to work it in to the script. The problem with executing the gay kiss now, is that it becomes a “stunt,” which is exactly what Ryan Murphy said is ridiculous. According to Murphy, it should be organically worked in to the scene. Otherwise, it hearkens back to Melrose Place — remember Doug Savant’s highly promoted “first-gay-kiss on television?” You would think times have changed — but apparently not.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino Will Make $5 Million — He’s Worth Every Penny
If anyone should be making oodles of money off of reality stardom, it’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, of Jersey Shore. Almost every other reality star on television cannot even put two sentences together. Contrary to Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, The Housewives of Anywhere, and every cast member of The Real World’s last ten seasons, Mike Sorrentino actually has a personality, and he isn’t evil. Yes, the Jersey Shore folks drink lots of liquor and occasionally get it on with “grenades.” But alcoholism and sexual promiscuity is far more respectable then ripping out hair extensions and rubbing someone’s toothbrush against a shit-filled toilet bowl. So congratulations to The Situation on his five million dollars, and please be sure not to squander your money on excessive GTL.
Mad Men Smoking Ban? — Isn’t This the 1960’s?
Desperate Housewives actress, Kathryn Joosten, has called for a smoking warning before the characters of Mad Men light a cigarette. Is this seriously necessary? If you don’t know that smoking is bad for you by now, then you don’t deserve a disclaimer. Have fun lighting up! Furthermore, the actors on the show are smoking herbal cigarettes, which don’t have nicotine or tobacco. John Hamm described them as “terrible,” saying they taste like a “mixture between pot and soap.” If the show is set in the 1960’s, and people smoked heavily in the 1960’s, then the characters are going to smoke. It’s a pretty simple formula. Altering the show to fit present-day standards is ridiculous.
Keep up With the Kardashians is Fake?! — The Cheap Wine Says Yes
A friend of mine avidly watches Keeping up With the Kardashians, and I regretfully admit I catch it from time to time. I got an email from her this morning after she engaged in some very serious detective work. On the last episode of Kourney and Khloe Take Miami, Kim Kardashian came home to discover that Scott drank her “amazing” and “expensive” wine. Kourtney denied it, but the bottles were later found on the roof (the shot of the bottles revealed the label). So what was this very expensive wine? Get ready . . . it’s called Oak Creek Merlot and it’s $3 dollars a bottle at CVS. No, that is not a typo. In fact, you can get three bottles for the grand total of $10. So what does this mean, and is this a smoking gun? All signs point to yes. I’m guessing that a producer came up with the idea to have Scott drink Kim’s “very expensive” wine, and then instructed a production assistant to pick up the cheapest wine he could find for the shoot, forgetting not to let the label show on television. Translation? — it’s a prop. If you watch the video below, with the idea that the scene was set-up, you might pick up on the bad acting.
Update: To see a screen-shot of the bottle from the show, click here.
‘The Switch’ Bombs — Are High-Concept Movies Doomed at the Box-Office?
Jennifer Aniston’s film, The Switch, tanked at the weekend box-office, and many are citing it has her fall from grace. Since I loved the film, I’m left scratching my head as to why it failed. My guess? High-concept films are doomed from the start. Though it didn’t bother me that the entire plot was given away in the trailer, I’m guessing it bothered others, who didn’t feel the need to watch the movie, fully knowing how it would play out. Remember Jennifer Lopez’s recent flop, The Back-Up Plan? That was another high-concept movie, which also revealed too much in the trailer. There was a time when movies didn’t need these over-the-top concepts to gain financial success. When Harry Met Sally, for example, was a little film about platonic friendship, and it’s one of the greatest romantic comedies in history. It didn’t need a woman who was impregnated with the wrong sperm — the dialogue and characters were enough. But without all this useless plot-glitter, films just don’t get made these days. An action film needs $100 million worth of CGI created explosions, and romantic comedies need sperm issues. I yearn for the good-old-days of high quality writing, when the most complicated concept was meeting at the empire state building at the same time (if you don’t know what movie that is, you should be ashamed of yourself).
Today’s Question — Is Carson Daly Still Alive?
The very bitchy part of me could not resist that title (I apologize for digressing from my consistent positivity). The news that Carson Daly’s NBC show got renewed for a 10th season shocked me, primarily because I had no idea he was still on the air. There’s a very specific reason that Carson Daly annoys me. He made his mark by hosting MTV’s Total Request Live, at a time when bubble-gum pop music was exploding. While many complained that the boy-bands and pop-tarts were destroying music, Carson stood firm, never letting his judgment show. Then, he got his show on NBC. He used his show as a platform to promote “real music,’ and constantly bashed the same artists that he used to promote. Ever wonder why you have never seen Britney Spears perform on his show? Weren’t they bosom buddies on TRL? I also once heard him say (during one of his pompous rants) that he felt American Idol was just a “shortcut,” to making it in the industry. How dare he insult such a monumental show! As an aside, I’d actually like to extend a special thanks to NBC for renewing Last Call With Carson Daly — you gave me an excuse to explain my Daly-anger.
Movie Review: The Switch
I loved this movie, which surprised me considering the reviews are so terrible. Much of these ridiculous critics call the movie “predictable.” Explain to me how you make an unpredictable romantic comedy. Does someone have to die at the end? Because that’s all I can think of, and in that case it’s more of a Greek tragedy than a romantic comedy. Yes, It’s predictable that they will end up together, and the trailer pretty-much gives the entire movie away. None of this bothers me in the slightest. In fact, if I ever go to a romantic comedy that throws me an uninvited curve-ball, I often find myself so infuriated that I want to kill the writer. Remember that horrific ending to My Best Friend’s Wedding? Or how about The Break-Up? The true star of The Switch is Jason Bateman, and everyone else is merely a catalyst for him to show that he’s finally hit his stride as an actor. Jennifer Aniston, whom I usually love, came across as relatively cold, and I found myself biding my time in all of her scenes, waiting for the return of Bateman and Thomas Robinson, his adorable on-screen son. Robinson’s insane resemblance to Bateman had me wondering who’s responsible for such a genius casting selection. We all know the plot, so I won’t bore you with the details. All I will say is that the movie is worth seeing in the theater.
Sylvester Stallone Says Tim Burton Ruined Action Stars
Sylvester Stallone discussed his new film, The Expendables, on Howard Stern, and he explained his very interesting theory that the Michael Keaton and Tim Burton Batman film, ruined action stars. The reason? — body suits. Stallone contends that Tim Burton introduced the body-suit, which comes with built-in muscles. That means that scrawny guys like Michael Keaton and Tobey Maguire can play action heroes, and guys like Stallone, who were valuable because of their real muscles, are no longer needed. Who knew Stallone was so darn cerebral? The theory actually had me scratching my head for a bit, and then I asked myself a very important question. If I was about to be attacked in a dark alley, would I want a spandex version of Tobey Maguire to rescue me, or a muscle clad Stallone dressed in ordinary clothes? I’d pick Stallone. Something tells me Tobey’s unitard wouldn’t help me much. // ]]>
Kings of Leon Say No to Glee — Won’t “Sell-Out” — Or Make Money
Kings of Leon have standards. In fact, their standards are so high that it might force their career into an early grave. They recently said that they don’t watch Glee, and they have no interest in having their songs featured on the show. They also turned down a very lucrative movie opportunity to have their song featured in a trailer, presumably based on some bull-shit principle. I’m not sure what the problem is with expanding your music resume, particularly on a great show like Glee, which draws attention to some of the best songs ever written. I guess that Kings of Leon know something that Paul McCartney doesn’t, because the legendary Beatle didn’t seem to have an issue with “selling-out,” given that he asked to have his songs featured on the hit show. Are these uber-proud douches better than Paul? And what’s wrong with having your song in a movie? Did Simon & Garfunkel sell-out with The Graduate? I would encourage lead singer Caleb Followill to change his attitude before his pride swallows his career.
Celebrity Look-Alikes: Paul Newman and Josh Lucas
Before I get a call from my brother telling me to remove my celebrity look-alike posts, as I’m “terrible at it,” I’d like to say that I didn’t think of this one. I was watching the DVD for Sweet Home Alabama, and I heard director Andy Tennant say it. But the resemblance is uncanny. For the life of me I cannot figure out why Josh Lucas doesn’t have a bigger, leading-man career. The man is insanely good-looking, and Sweet Home Alabama is one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies. Perhaps it’s time to get a new agent? After all, someone advised him to do Stealth.
Update: Evidently, Josh Lucas is constantly compared to Matthew McConaughey, and it pisses him off. He once said he doesn’t want to be “mentioned in the same breath” as him, because he “has his own career.” Well, perhaps it’s true that I’m not very good at this, because I don’t think Lucas looks anything like McConaughey.