Paris Hilton Victim of Horrifying Plane Prank – WATCH

Update: She was in on it.

paris-hilton-at-2015-grammy-awards-in-los-angeles_1In one of the most disturbing videos I’ve seen in some time, Paris Hilton fell victim to a cruel prank curated by Ramez Wakel el-Gaw, who made the reality heiress think she was plummeting to her death on a small plane. The prank has been performed before, in which top celebrities believe their in Dubai for the opening of a new hotel and are instead escorted onto a plane for an aerial tour of the city. Minutes into the flight the pilot begins performing stunts to simulate a potential crash. Hilton screams in terror, and passengers start jumping off the plane with parachutes. If I were Paris Hilton, I’d take my huge pile of cash and sue the living sh*t out of Ramez Galal, with a very large claim for damages given that Hilton has to fly for work, and the trauma could potentially infringe her ability to travel and seek income. As for this business in general, it’s astounding how far people will go for their five minutes.

 

 

The Bachelorette Reality Check: Random Sex is Still Gross

 It has suddenly become some sort of feminist statement to promote promiscuous sex, in place of what’s been deemed double-standard-style “slut-shaming.” Why can men have meaningless sex absent judgment, but women cannot? The short answer is it’s gross for both sexes, and if you’ve watched any season of this stupid show, you’d know that. Forgive my archaic stance, unlike the more “progressive” Amy Schumer who can “catch a dick” whenever she wants, but you can contract Herpes with a condom, and furthermore, when engaged in an orgy form of speed dating, it might be smarter to keep your legs closed just before an ending that often results in an engagement. Andi Dorfman learned it the hard way (no pun intended), but finding the “love of your life” just days after sleeping with another man isn’t the sweet story you hope to tell your future children. Additionally, isn’t Nick Viall the same guy that acted heartbroken over “making love” to Andi just before getting dumped? For a guy that makes love with such sentiment, you’d think he’d value sex a little more, and give it some time.


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Taylor Swift v. Apple: The Jury is Out

taylorswiftToday was a dramatic day for the music industry, as Taylor Swift’s open letter to Apple resulted in the behemoth backtracking on a plan not to pay artists during the first three months of their grand, new streaming experiment. Swift made her choice to withhold music clear, saying, “We don’t ask you for free iPhones. Please don’t ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation.”

Taylor Swift’s untouchable popularity puts her in the perfect position to shine a light on the many ways musicians are currently getting fucked by many streaming services, and it’s about time someone spoke up. But this is just the beginning of a much larger conversation about how we treat our artists, and the royalties they receive. While Apple has agreed to now pay artists for those first three months, we don’t know how much, and to quote The Verge, this feels like more of the Status Quo. We can’t keep pounding our heads against the wall in an attempt to break out of prison. Someone needs  a hammer.

Holly Madison Bashes Hugh Hefner: Grossness Overload

  I have extremely little tolerance for people that make their bed, lie in it, and then blame everyone else for their soiled sheets. In an attempt to extend her fifteen minutes, Holly Madison shocked no one with intimate, insider details about her “romance” with Hugh Hefner. Among the up-chuck worthy revelations are: Hugh Hefner’s Quaalude offerings, his two-pump chump status in an orgy, and his “girlfriends”‘ feigning enjoyment for fucking an old dude. Did I mention that despite the deep depression that arose as a result of living in a mansion, rent-free, Madison still attempted to have a child with Hefner, seeing it as her “ticket out.” Needless to say, his sperm is no longer swimming upstream, though Holly Madison is. Check out her one-on-one with Wonderwall, and pick up her book for more details on this debauchery. As for Hefner, he’s taken the high road, saying, “Over the course of my life I’ve had more than my fair share of romantic relationships with wonderful women. Many moved on to live happy, healthy and productive lives and I’m pleased to say remain dear friends today. Sadly, there are a few who have chosen to rewrite history in an attempt to stay in the spotlight.”

The Brian Williams / Matt Lauer Interview: My Take

 I have a lot of issues with Matt Lauer’s aggressive interview style, but in the case of Brian Williams, it worked. Lauer was relentless, pushing Williams to profess whether he knew he was lying at the he told his tales, and asking the impetus behind his infractions. As for Williams, it’s clear he’s weaved a web that will take a lot of time to untangle. He did the best he could without actually admitting the intent to lie. If he admits the intent, he’s harder to forgive, and if he claims ignorance, he looks sloppy and perhaps pathological. My take? He became a raging narcissist whose ego got the best of him, and as a newscaster, truth is paramount. The decision to place him at MSNBC and give Lester Holt the job is a genius compromise, and I commend NBC for learning from their Ann Curry debacle. I also give them major credit for allowing Lauer to push hard on Williams, especially when they’re on the same network.

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Brandi Glanville Leaves Real Housewives: End of a Very Crass Era

 There’s a rule on Real Housewives: You can’t be hated by everyone at the same time, or you’ll get the axe, and Brandi Glanville broke it. Allies will earn you favor, but not when your only ally is Kim Richards who also earned her walking papers. I actually feel bad for Brandi, but she played every card imaginable to land a job in LA LA Land, and she had a damn good run of it. Hats off to the girl that makes lemonade out of some seriously unfaithful lemons. Like her or not, I applaud such a turnaround, especially when you somehow manage to become more famous than that famous chick that stole your husband. In a sweet sendoff, I’d like to say goodbye to Brandi Glanville’s RHOBH’s run with her greatest moment in history. Watch below.

Hilary Duff Releases Acoustic “Tattoo” Video: Watch Now

 I should preface this post by professing my unlikely obsession with Hilary Duff, whose cheesy movies were the perfect end-of-day unwind during my formative adolescent years, along with a girl-crush admiration for her bangin’ bod, that is just curvy enough for my liking. As for her public image, she has yet to find her post-teen niche, which might soon change with her new music. Duff release an acoustic rendition of “Tattoo,” which about getting burned and not feeling appreciated in a relationship, and the marks you get left with at the end,” according to her conversation with Vulture. Th song is good, her voice is good, and I enjoy the pared-back approach. Watch below.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Impersonates His Own Wax Figure

In one of the best social media moves in history, Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonated a wax figure impersonation of himself (yes, that’s confusing) and visitors of at Hollywood’s Madame Tussauds gallery. Donning his famous Terminator gear, Arnold also hit the streets of Hollywood, which resulted in a very funny conversation with another impersonator outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. Check Terminator: Genisys when it arrives in theaters July 1. Watch below to see his prank in action.

Madonna’s New Video is a MESS: Watch Now

Close your eyes and remember every horrible party in your youth, then imagine what’s it’s like to revisit those parties years later with a new group of sad people that are way too old to be there. That my friends . . . is Madonna’s new video. I realize there’s an obvious response here about my ageism, but after watching this monstrosity I’d say the same thing about anyone past the age of eighteen engaging in this nightmare. Madonna is far too cool for this crap. On top of that, she doesn’t need help from her younger peers or celebrity friends. She’s fu*king Madonna, and she can go it alone. Leave out Nicki Minaj (though she’s the only saving grace), ditch Miley Cyrus, and let Chris Rock spend this lost time preparing his new comedy tour. There’s just nothing creative coming from a woman whose entire career was predicated on creativity. And can’t she dance? Is there any ounce of choreography? Watch this mess below.

Editor’s Note: I actually LOVE her new album. So don’t accuse me of bias.

Jerry Seinfeld Dodges the Seth Meyers Pre-Interview

Inside sources tell me that Jerry Seinfeld is a notorious curmudgeon with many demands and endless complaints. That revelation is not surprising given his interview with Seth Meyers below, where Seinfeld breaks the fourth wall on late-night television’s canned, cheesy style. To be fair, the spotlight seems exhausting, and the talk-show circuit is a five minute pressure cooker demanding a lot of jokes in a very short exchange. But when an A-lister like Seinfeld grants the courtesy of his appearance, it makes sense to assume he’d bypass the annoying pre-interview that just adds to his time. To quote Seinfeld, “you want me here, I don’t want to be here. So YOU engage ME.” Watch below.