Quote of the Day — Sandra Bullock & Brett Ratner on Their Non-Hookup

“We think that it’s incredibly sad that in these times, this magazine would resort to complete fabrication, solely for financial gain. There is not a shred of accuracy in their story. We have not seen nor spoken to each for over a decade. We both had a great time after the Oscars, just not with each other.” Sandra Bullock & Brett Ratner, on the “fabricated story” that they hooked up. Can these two people get a sense of humor? The only thing “sad” about the false report is the idea that Sandra Bullock would waste her time on Brett Ratner. Other than that, it’s pretty funny.


Eddie Murphy Resigns as Oscar Host — Follows Brett Ratner

I hope the Academy just learned a lesson about the ramifications of being puritanical hypocrites. Eddie Murphy predictably stepped down as Oscar host after learning that his friend, Brett Ratner, “resigned” as the show’s producer. The Academy likely fired Ratner without realizing the risk of losing Murphy. The Ratner debacle began with a series of loose-lipped interviews, most notably his quote that “rehearsal is for fags.” Had they fired Ratner immediately after he made the bigoted remark, I’d be fine with it. But that’s not why he was fired. Ratner was fired because of his candid Howard Stern interview, in which he detailed his sex life, including making Lindsay Lohan get an STD test prior to sleeping with her and being “in love with eating pus*y.” Though I detest Brett Ratner, there’s an underlying lesson to be learned here — you can use bigoted words, but you can’t openly discuss your sex life. You know . . . because that’s inappropriate. And despite my Ratner hatred, losing Murphy as a host should have been enough to keep Ratner. I predict a very boring Academy Awards this year.

Quote of the Day — Brett Ratner Steps Down As Oscar Producer

“Being asked to help put on the Oscar show was the proudest moment of my career. But as painful as this may be for me, it would be worse if my association with the show were to be a distraction from the Academy and the high ideals it represents.” Brett Ratner on stepping down from his post as producer of the Academy Awards, because — well . . . he’s a douchebag. And Brett — if you’re reading this, I have some advice. Treat those around you with a little respect and maybe you won’t be such a terrible person.

Quote of the Day — Brett Ratner — A Bigot?

“I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.” Brett Ratner (A.K.A. the douchiest douche on the planet), on saying “rehearsal is for fags.”

Brett Ratner & Michael Jackson Picked on Homeless Man — Ratner Sucks

If you’re a fan of The Dishmaster, then you’re well aware that there are certain celebrities on The-Dishmaster-Sh*tlist. One such celebrity is Brett Ratner, who I personally know is the world’s biggest douchebag. I’d tell you how I know this information — but it would divulge my source — and real journalists know how to keep secrets. But just in case you doubt me, I’ve posted an interview with Brett Ratner on Jimmy Kimmel, where he told a disturbing story about how he and Michael Jackson threw water balloons at a homeless man — because . . . you know . . . that’s such a funny thing to do. Isn’t it great to torment the mentally ill?

External Resource: It will take a large team of people who have received human resources degrees online to get Brett Ratner to work well with other people.

Eddie Murphy to Host the Oscars — Good Choice!

For years I’ve wondered what happened to Eddie Murhpy. He’s considered one of the greatest comedians in history, and he hasn’t done stand-up in years. So did he just get comfortable with his millions and lose the hunger to perform? As it turns out, Murphy is returning to the spotlight to host the Oscars, and presumably to promote his new film, ‘Tower Heist.’ I’m glad the Oscar executives learned a thing or two after last year’s hosting debacle. And though it pains me to admit that the douchey Brett Ratner might have done something right, the trailer for ‘Tower Heist’ looks really good. Watch below.

Warner Bros. and MGM Threaten Peter Jackson With Brett Ratner

Warner Bros. and MGM are heavily pursuing Peter Jackson to direct the ‘Hobbit’ movies, now that Guillermo Del Toro quit the project.  Jackson co-wrote the scripts but does not want to direct the film because he is “too busy.”  So now Brett Ratner’s name is being thrown around, presumably as a negotiating ploy to convince Peter Jackson to either direct the film, or have it ruined.  Too harsh?  Have I mentioned that I have it on VERY good authority that Brett Ratner is a gigantic douchebag.  At least I openly admit my biases.

Brett Ratner Insists ‘X-Men 3’ Was a Good Movie

Let me start this post by explaining that I am deliberately picking on Brett Ratner because I have it on VERY good authority that he is the biggest douchebag on the planet.  That being said, in an interview with Iesb to promote his remix of ‘Kites’, Ratner was asked if he’d change anything about ‘X-Men 3’ if he had it to do over.  His response?  “No. I loved it! I’m right, and they’re wrong.”  Wow, so he’s now a dumb douchebag?  ‘X-Men 3’ was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and he single handedly tanked the entire franchise.  I’m glad he learns from his mistakes.